Weightloss making your life perfect?

I've been reading a lof of these forums lately where people seem to be carrying the belief that if they just get down to their goal weight, the rest of their life will fall into place, and everything will be perfect. It's total b.s. There are plenty of people on this site well within their healthy BMI's that still suffer with depression and sadly enough, that still believe they're fat.

I weigh a little over 200 pounds, and though it has been steadily coming off, I am capable of feeling excellent NOW because of all of the healthy changes I'm making for my body.

 *I edited the subject because the original subj "weightloss synonomous with happiness" seemed to be being responded to without having read the body of the post.

That is great to hear, and I am a firm believer in doing things for yourself NOW rather than putting your life on hold until you are prettier or thinner or cleverer or any vague futuristic idea of yourself.

I was happier when I weighed 175lb than I am at 128lb. Not happier with my weight, but less self-critical and neurotic and generally in a better place mentally. I have largely lost the weight healthily, but two bereavements and some depression certainly contributed. Though of course I am pleased I am at a much healthier weight, sometimes it saddens me the reasons why I changed so much, and weight loss was one of the side effects of some considerable unhappiness really. (Though most of it was oldfashioned good eating and exercise and self discipline - see I am even critical of myself for how I lost weight!)

One thing I am glad about though is that I can look back at myself when I was overweight and remember how happy and sexy and full of life I was, not just look back with disgust or anything like some people do.

i hate to dissent (no, i don't), but i'm so much happier at 130 than i was at 168, it's like i'm a new person.  but i don't think weight is the cause; it's the effect.

I didn't mean to imply there aren't some great things about having lost weight

• holiday pictures, make that all pictures
• hanging out with the 21 year olds on my course without feeling selfconscious
• clothes shopping, oh my
• energy levels
• fitness
• real love of real food
• falling asleep on top of boyfriend without squashing him

All that is great fun, but I agree with the original post: it doesn't make you a happy person.

Original Post by bairn:

All that is great fun, but I agree with the original post: it doesn't make you a happy person.

you misunderstand.

no, being thin doesn't make you happy.  but being happy might make you thin.

Well, I do agree in part, but people also get skinny with breakups and bereavements, you know?

I guess what matters in the end is good healthy maintaining habits...

Pgeorgian- First, congrats on your weight loss! This post certainly wasn't meant as a blanket statement. I just read a post from a woman who does seem to think her life will be perfect when she loses 30 more pounds, followed by a post from a woman who is nearly underweight (111lb) and still fretting about how to lose 10 more pounds.

I am happier now than I was at 300lb, but I certainly didn't hate myself then, nor do I expect that at 160lb my life will be sunshine and rainbows.

Bairn - I'm sorry for the deaths you've had to suffer through. It's good though that you can look back and say you lost weight the healthy way. Have you thought of any ways to get back to that happier mental place you had at 175 while staying at your current weight?

Thanks for your responses.

I totally agree with all of those happy reasons to get fit in your bullet list. I can't wait until my husband is larger than me again!

I was thinking though - do you guys meet people who are losing weight/maintaining a healthy weight that just seem to carry a cloud around all the time? I think it's easy for people to lose sight of the fact that you should be proud and happy every time you make a good decision for your body. I don't dread the gym anymore because I feel so freakin' fanastic after I work out, nothing could bring me down!

However, for me, yes, losing weight has made me happier.  Those things listed as "fun" are really serious hindrances to feeling confident. 

NOT hiding from friends and family is not just "fun", it is life giving if it keeps you from being isolated and contributes to depression.

Thin might not make you happy per se, but it can relive you of burdens that weigh you down during ordinary life.

I think you have to consider what "happy" means.  If it mean you think you will suddenly look like a movie star and start dating a fab guy - weight loss probably will not make you happy.

If being healthier will make you happy and give you a sense of confidence to do the things you love - then yes weight loss can "make" one happy.

MadamQ, congrats on your weightloss! I agree, it definitely will make some happy, not going to deny that. Many, many others though will continue to lose and continue to lose and never be happy with their weights. I'll be thrilled to get at or near my goal weight, but I bet my marriage still won't be perfect, people will still sometimes be mean to me, I'll still have urges to lapse into depression. I just think some are unrealistic in how they view their lives without the weight, like you said, movie star physiques aren't attainable by all.

Will being thin make me happy? Not necessarily.

Does being fat make me unhappy? Most definitely.

It's kinda like 'money doesn't buy happiness', well sure it doesn't but it removes the unhappiness of worrying about not having money.

It IS BS. I lost weight thinking it would make me happy, now I am underweight with an eating disorder and am drastically unhappy. People should go into weight loss looking to improve their health (which in the end, will improve happiness), but not thinking they will be happy just because they will be thin. That is disordered thinking.

It's really depressing to hear this - I really hate being 350 pounds and it's really horrible to think that losing 200 pounds won't improve my mental state, it's just like why bother....

Ziggy, I sent you an email.

Starbrow, you don't have to be one of those people. At my highest I weighed 300 pounds, and I say I didn't hate myself, but that doesn't mean I was thrilled to weigh that much. You're on this site, so I assume you're doing something healthy for yourself - which is a reason to be happy. Of course you're mental state can change. I'm not sure if it's possible to lose 200 pounds without that - my point is that there are these two spectrums of people on this site - the unhappy people who believe skinniness will make their lives perfect and unhappy skinny people who are never happy with their weight.

Original Post by starbrow27:

It's really depressing to hear this - I really hate being 350 pounds and it's really horrible to think that losing 200 pounds won't improve my mental state, it's just like why bother....

oh, don't be crazy.  of course losing weight would be good for your health - both mental and physical.  it's just not a magic cure-all for everything that's wrong in your life.

I could run circles around my old self and I look great.

Didn't change that I'm still a miserable, grumpy nihilist who doesn't get along with people well.

But yes, I do like not being huge anymore.

lol, grumpy nihilists can be funny though

Original Post by pgeorgian:

oh, don't be crazy.  of course losing weight would be good for your health - both mental and physical.  it's just not a magic cure-all for everything that's wrong in your life.

Before I gained all this weight, I was generally a happy person. Which isn't to say I didn't have issues and problems, but I knew how to deal with them. Then I was diagnosed with a medical problem and it sent me spiralling into depression, which caused me to gain weight as I just didn't care anymore. 

Now at this point in my life (13 years later) I've dealt with the ramifications of the medical diagnosis and have accepted that. But I'm still depressed and still obese, despite NOTHING being wrong with my life (not saying it's perfect, but I have a wonderful husband, a job I'm mostly happy with, a house, making decent money, etc) and I was hoping that dealing with the weight would also cause the depression to lift. But what the OP says is that it won't, so what's the use even trying?

Although it is true that weight loss does not necessarily equal happiness, it is also true that the success of weight loss does.  Feeling proud of yourself for your accomplishment and no longer living in the insecurities of your weight are both so rewarding.  Weight loss will not fix all the problems of your life, but it will definitely make you feel better about yourself when you've finally been able to take hold of your health.

Am I happier? I'd say it's about the same.  I'm healthier and that's good.  But I'm also a bit crankier.  I am now my own soup nazi.  I avoid the pizza buffets I used to enjoy.

Having my old boss leave made me much happier than losing the weight.  Both were major causes of stress and high blood pressure.  Losing the weight was under my control.  Losing the boss was good luck, and being lucky makes me feel good.

Original Post by vermicious:

Will being thin make me happy? Not necessarily.

Does being fat make me unhappy? Most definitely.

 

I could not have said it better!