After weightloss, now more success attracting guys?!

  Now, I will give an example....I use to weigh about 227 lbs and some guys wouldn't even look at me. My neighbor (a guy around my age, i'm not even attracted to him, but whatever) would pay me no attention when I would see him mowing his lawn, while i was outside too. During that time I started the Atkins diet and lost 40 pounds. The next day I see him in front of his house, and all of a sudden he gives me his interest, giving me these glances and smiles. WTF? NOW you like me? Have any of you girls (or guys) have that happen to you? Say, a boy or girl you liked did not like  you. But when you became cute and thinner, he all of a sudden liked you? Why didn't you like me when I was fat, but now you like me because i am skinny? I was the same person fat as i was skinny. Whats the difference liking me skinny, then when i was fat? I was the SAME person...Just gets me mad...sorry.

Original Post by terraskye:

  Now, I will give an example....I use to weigh about 227 lbs and some guys wouldn't even look at me. My neighbor (a guy around my age, i'm not even attracted to him, but whatever) would pay me no attention when I would see him mowing his lawn, while i was outside too. During that time I started the Atkins diet and lost 40 pounds. The next day I see him in front of his house, and all of a sudden he gives me his interest, giving me these glances and smiles. WTF? NOW you like me? Have any of you girls (or guys) have that happen to you? Say, a boy or girl you liked did not like  you. But when you became cute and thinner, he all of a sudden liked you? Why didn't you like me when I was fat, but now you like me because i am skinny? I was the same person fat as i was skinny. Whats the difference liking me skinny, then when i was fat? I was the SAME person...Just gets me mad...sorry.

It's harsh but it's a fact. People have certain characteristics that they are attracted to and they don't deviate from that. So if they see someone who has the traits they are not attracted to then they won't pay them much attention.

However if people get to know each other then they can often become attracted on a deeper level. But usually there has to be an initial attraction. Physical attraction is very important. We want to select the best mates so that our offspring inherit them.

Did you ever try to get to know your neighbour (or anyone who you feel didn't pay you attention before you lost some weight)? If not then how can you expect them to be attracted to your sparkling personality?

You are right, it's reality and it is harsh. I mean, it's everywhere. The magazines with the sexy celebrities and everyone trying to lose weight and be thin in the USA. Also, that is true to have an initial attraction. As well, I am guilty liking attractive men...hmmm.

My whole life I've had brown hair.  Once I was appearing in a play in which I wore a blonde wig.   It was hilarious how much more attention I got as a 'blonde'....  BUT... the people giving me the attention were largely a bunch of idiots... AND... the attention I was getting was of the 'nudge-nudge-wink-wink', 'coarse bricklayer' variety.   I was quite glad to remove the wig and go back to being treated as normal!

So I say don't get angry but understand that 'attraction' is often built on very rocky & shallow foundations!  'Love' on the other hand, is blind - and now you'll be able to spot the difference.

that's only 'looking' attraction, there are so many other levels of attraction. congrats on your weight loss. who cares about some neighbor guy you don't even like.

My weight has fluctuated by as much as 60 pounds and I have definitely experienced this and it made me mad, too. When I'm heavy, it's as if I'm invisible to men. 

On the plus side, I knew to stay away from the guys who suddenly showed interest after I got thin. They had already shown their true stripes. 

The husband of a friend of mine lost interest in his wife when she gained weight after having his kids. He gave her an ultimatum: if you don't lose weight, I'm going look elsewhere for sex. I thought that was outrageous.

sexual attraction is based on appearance initially. sucks yes but there it is.

congrats on the weight loss! work it! learn to enjoy your assets while you have them. try not to let the anger (valid as it may be!) spoil all the potential fun.

Um. That's perfectly natural,imho. It's just part of life because we're visual creatures. Sometimes people aren't attracted/interested initially. For instance if you were doing something they dislike you'd be overlooked too. Certain visible qualities/attributes can trump any ' potential ' good ones. Even if someone is devastatingly handsome/beautiful.

Good job and Good luck. :)

are you upset that he notices you now? because you were heavier and not as attractive to him before? why does something like this surprise you?.... you also probably felt less attractive when you were bigger and did not come off confident, now that you have lost the weight you are probs more happy in your skin... it's natural and keep up the good work!

I know for me I get free stuff, doors opened, smiles, head turns when I was smaller, then I got big, and men were not very nice to me, now that I'm finally get back to my normal size, the doors are opening, the men are giving free things (like if I go to grocery store/gas station, gum, lighters, etc.,) and I ALSO feel more confident than I did and give off that energy, energy attracts energy.... 

Original Post by shapeshifter:

are you upset that he notices you now? because you were heavier and not as attractive to him before? why does something like this surprise you?.... you also probably felt less attractive when you were bigger and did not come off confident, now that you have lost the weight you are probs more happy in your skin... it's natural and keep up the good work!

I know for me I get free stuff, doors opened, smiles, head turns when I was smaller, then I got big, and men were not very nice to me, now that I'm finally get back to my normal size, the doors are opening, the men are giving free things (like if I go to grocery store/gas station, gum, lighters, etc.,) and I ALSO feel more confident than I did and give off that energy, energy attracts energy.... 

 I feel disgust when men do that. it is like as if overweight women were not humans who deserve some respect. I do pray that I won't end up with a man like that. It is really scary because some emotional women ( like me) can gain weight easily. when I read about marriages that end because the wife gained weight, I feel very sad.

Original Post by feljones:

My weight has fluctuated by as much as 60 pounds and I have definitely experienced this and it made me mad, too. When I'm heavy, it's as if I'm invisible to men. 

On the plus side, I knew to stay away from the guys who suddenly showed interest after I got thin. They had already shown their true stripes. 

The husband of a friend of mine lost interest in his wife when she gained weight after having his kids. He gave her an ultimatum: if you don't lose weight, I'm going look elsewhere for sex. I thought that was outrageous.

 

1) That happened to me too, though it didn't make me mad. It's human nature, I guess. I notice attractive people more than unattractive people, too. I try to treat everyone equally well, however.

2) One thing I do miss about being heavier is the automatic a-hole detector. Now, when I meet someone, I feel less confident in my judgments.

3) That is outrageous. There are so many steps to go through with a spouse before you'd even get to that point - and even then, he should acknowledge that if he gets to open up the relationship, so does she. No matter how big she is, there is certainly someone out there who will want a piece of that (supply and demand for NSA sex being what they are), and he has to be OK with that too, if he is going to be catting around.

I don't think it's because they didn't respect you as a person when you were fat, males or females are just more attracted to people at a normal weight because it's healthy and healthy people are the most attractive - it's unavoidable.

Some guys are a bit shallow and prefer smaller girls.

I mean.. I really wouldn't want a hot guy to like me while I was fat and all.. it's like.. he likes anything now, doesn't he.. lol.. that's how I think anyway.

I am pretty but the type I'm attracted to prefers thin girls and well I have to accept myself first and I don't accept myself as a fat person then why should they?

Some guys though, do prefer chunky girls but not like extra extra chunky.

Original Post by shapeshifter:

are you upset that he notices you now? because you were heavier and not as attractive to him before? why does something like this surprise you?.... you also probably felt less attractive when you were bigger and did not come off confident, now that you have lost the weight you are probs more happy in your skin... it's natural and keep up the good work!

I know for me I get free stuff, doors opened, smiles, head turns when I was smaller, then I got big, and men were not very nice to me, now that I'm finally get back to my normal size, the doors are opening, the men are giving free things (like if I go to grocery store/gas station, gum, lighters, etc.,) and I ALSO feel more confident than I did and give off that energy, energy attracts energy.... 

I agree on that, while living at my aunts and around the same weight as now I attracted my neighbor because I was hyper and my personality is just amazing.. Haha.. Cocky but true.

I mean that's what you meant right :P

I've had that happen. Oddly enough I stopped being interested in him when he started liking me becasue I was pissed he only paid attention when I lost weight.

Granted, I was flattered by his attention, but I need a man who isnt so obviously shallow.

People are attracted to what they're attracted to... that doesn't make them shallow.

It just means that to them you are not attractive.

Would you date a guy with bad teeth? Serious back hair? Cleft Palate? A giant nose?

What are your turn offs? Everyone has a deal breaker or two, but that does not make you shallow.

Shallow would be thinking/treating someone is/as worthless for any number of asinine reasons, but not wanting to schtoop you (or go out of their way to meet you) is not the same thing as thinking you are worthless.

ignayshus- that guy was. i kinda knew about it before but it was confirmed by his actions towards me. i didn't mean that to be a blanket statement.

No offense to the OP but isn't this common sense?

If this weren't true would so many of us be trying to lose weight?