Weightloss Update and stuff

Good morning all!

I wanted to post an update on my progress...I am kinda in a stall right now and maybe you guys can offer some "kick butt" sentiments to get me going again.

First, my old computer bit the dust...my beginning measurements were on there.  Hubby just got them transferred off the old onto the new last night.  I has been awhile since I measured because I didn't have the "originals" to compare to.

Drumroll please....60.25 inches GONE!!  Along with 42 pounds!!  Woo Hoo!!!  I have gone from a size 18 to a size 8!!! My waist has gone from 40"  to 29".

I am so happy with my progress.  I have done so well up till now.  My motivation has gone...somewhere.  You would think that all this progress would be a big motivator.

I think the problem is that recently hubby has been saying stuff like  "I think you look anorexic"  or "I liked you better the other way".  Let me say that I currently weigh 140lbs and do not in anyone's world look anorexic. 

OK, well I wasn't gonna tell this part but what the hell...He won't "put out" since I have lost all this weight!  I just don't get it!?  I don't mean this to sound conceited...but I know I look good because I catch guys staring at me all the time.  Hubby will barely make eye contact with me anymore.  I don't know what to do.  I love my hubby but at this point in my life I love ME more!  I am hurt and angry at him. 

So, any ideas on his psychosis?  Most men would be happy if their wives lost 40 lbs.  Why not my man?

my first reaction is, does he have some weight to lose himself?  could he be feeling this is somehow "putting him down"?  i have asked myself all these same questions, although he has not actually SAID that he liked me better the other way, i know some people say that some men actually do like someone soft and pillowy.  i hope that you will find some good answers from him, or from someone else out there.   and i'm not sure it's safe to assume that "most" men would be happy if their wives lost that weight.   maybe it makes them insecure to know other men could be looking at you.   i dunno.   maybe some men can answer this question.....

oh, and congratulations on your great success!!!!

You are right "most" is an extreme gernerality...I should have said A LOT of men would be happy...

No he doesn't have any weight to lose.  He is tall and skinny eats what he wants and doesn't gain.  I was thin when we met and married...so I had no idea this would affect him like this.

My girlfriend says she thinks he is 'getting some on the side'.  I don't want to believe this but it has been 'months' now. 

I don't know what to tell you :(  I mean, there are men out there who perfer heavy-set women, but your husband should love you for you.  I mean, it should work the same way as if you were thin when you met and gained weight, his feelings shouldn't change.

Does he have the time/opportunity to have an affair?  Do you have other issues in your relationship that aren't being discussed?  Maybe he is using the weight issue as a cover for other issues?

maybe hes insecure...or maybe he doesnt want to seem like a pig for liking your loss/oogling it so its his clumsy way of complimenting you.

btw-  good job! the loss took off years too. and you look super satisfied!

i would ask him directly. maybe he misses your gozongas?
i asked mine "what if they went away totally ? "
and he looked down and said.."all the way?" like a depressed child. lol

Congratulations on your weight loss! 

Have you been "big" for most of the time you've been married?  I would dare say that if so, he doesn't "recognize" you as the woman he married.  He may also feel threatened by your success as it shows a stregth of character that may not have always been obvious.

Regardless -- curses has the right idea -- ask him straight out what the problem is and don't let him get away without having a conversation -- it's your marriage too.

He is home all day alone.  He has a computer business and works from there.  He does have time to see someone else.  I don't think that he is but...I could just be in denial. 

My "gozangas" are still a 36dd so I don't think that is the problem.  I don't know of any other issues...

My husband works from home to, and I am out of the house all day.  He also works with computers, and isnt exactly all over me lately either.  Hmmm

First I think you look fabulous.

I can kinda understand how your husband feels, my husband is tall 6'1" and when we first met he was 230lbs. He landed a job with waste management and because of the hard work he lost 35lbs in one month and his health was not the greatest. He left that job after 6 weeks and returned back to truck driving. Since then he gained a small portion of the weight back.He looked good and felt better and you would think I would be happy for him but I wasn't. I began to feel insecure about myself because I am overweight, what made me even more insecure was the compliments he was receving from family and friends and I was not. I would catch other women glancing at him, yet I received no glances.It took sometime and mental coaching to remind myself that he still the same man that adores me and yes he is thinner, but most importantly he is healthier. I also did what your husband did, hold back from sex, but then realized I was only hurting myself.  I realized that I was mad at him for looking better than me and I am the only person that could change that.   Be patient with him, he may come around. Don't allow friends to place negative thoughts in your mind because they may be wrong. 

Just another idea...I've gone from a size 14 to a 4, and at first my husband had the same reaction;  I finally asked him about it and found out that he was worried about hurting me.  Apparently he equated "smaller" with more fragile.  After I assured him that I am still the tough little redneck I have always been, things have improved dramatically...dare I say better that ever?  That is really something, considering we've been married almost 21 years!  ;)