1. History with weight loss:
2. History with Calorie Count:
3. Reason for joining this group:
4. Some interesting details about yourself, such as your job, your family, your pets and your interests:
And now just go ahead and make that first post!
1. History with weight loss:
Well at the moment i'm actually trying to gain weight as i'm struggling to get over my disordered eating habits.
2. History with Calorie Count:
I recently made a new account so I can track my calories and keep healthy. I tend to over-estimate what I eat which isn't good for me, so this helps me see how much I am really eating. In the very first place I joined because I wanted to lose weight (even though I was under weight) I was restricting and looking up the cals in like, an apple or something. How stupid.
3. Reason for joining this group:
I wanted to join this group as I do suffer from depression, and i'm hoping to hear the stories of other people in a similar situation and learn how to cope when i'm at my lowest.
4. Some interesting details about yourself, such as your job, your family, your pets and your interests:
Hmm as I said I want to gain weight, or atleast I think I do. It's hard to really want to because sometimes I don't think I need to, even though I know i'm underweight. *sigh*
I see a psychologist for my disordered eating and of course, depression. When I fall into one of those, it tends to trigger the other so it's really bad :/
I'm 16 years old, vegetarian, love animals and kids, and I want to be a midwife when i'm older :) I'm also really into metal which is a little odd for a female apparantly :D
Being into metal isn't that weird for a female :) I practically live the Metallica and Disturbed life on the radio and you should see some of my more exciting regailia... I love chains, chokers, etc...
Yeah, while looking up an apple seems kinda dumb...I was so bad that I was doing the math on how many caloires were in a single chocolate chip... I still don't know how to fully cope with my depression correctly, but I'm learning, and I hope you are doing well, too. I go to the gym and overexercise...which is also unhealthy...but it's still better than binging, purging, or just starving myself.
Kudos on you for having the guts to see someone about the issue. I don't trust people nearly enough. Too paranoid that they are going to prescribe some form of medication to me. Not only can I not afford it, I don't consider it natural. And, while what's happening to me isn't natural, apparently something greater is the problem that needs to be fixed. Treat the disease not the symptoms.
Haha nice. Although compared to what I listen to, Metallica seems like nursery rhymes ;) lol.
Yeah i'm learning how to cope with my depression, but it's really hard. Doesn't help that my relationship ended recently :/ That thrown on top of depression and anxiety and disordered eating and hormones, man. But let's not be dwelling on the negatives here.
Yeah exercise is better than purging etc but be careful not to over do it and burn too much compared to what you consume :)
My psych is actually really nice and any talk of medication is always as a last resort and it's always my choice, and personally I don't want it either.
Seeing someone about it has actually really helped me (she has really helped me in how to deal with my lows and how to stop the negative thoughts etc) and I hope you might, someday, be able to trust someone enough to see them, they will help :)
Hi everyone, I'm new to CC. I decided that I have to do something, my weight is not shifting even though I've been following the weightwatchers points system for a while. It worked well for me in the past, but not this time 
I thought I'd compare my calorie intake to the 'points' and there's a big difference! According to my calorie count, I've overeaten today!
I enjoy my part-time job as a home support worker. I live with my OH and our two children. I spend a lot of time online running a mental health support forum with a good friend of mine. (I don't think I'm allowed to advertise so I won't say anymore 
). I've lived with depression since my teens.. you'd think I'd be used to it by now, but each day is a challenge as you all know.
Well, that's me... hi! 
Hi everyone.. I'm new to the group
This is some information about me...
1. History with weight loss:
I've never been comfortable with being overweight. It's caused me to have severe self-esteem issues. I'm not to the point of being really dangerously unhealthy but if I keep excelling in weight I might get to that point. I used to be in Weight Watchers but then quit because of the money. I thought I could do it myself without having to spend the money. I also am basically a vegetarian because i don't eat most meats. I just hate the way it tastes and looks and also the thought of where it comes from. 
Another reason I stopped eating meat is because I thought it would help me lose weight.
2. History with Calorie Count:
I found this website it a hopefull search for a free program that could easily help me track what I eat and how I exercise. I think I found exactly what i was looking for :]
3. Reason for joining this group:
I often suffer from depression problems. When I get really down I can't make myself eat anything... it often happens at night when I'm alone with nothing to distract me. Somtimes it's not critical depression and sometimes it is. It all just depends. I've never gone to a doctor or counselor mainly because I don't trust people easily and I don't want to be put on meds like some mental person. I'm hoping by joining this group I can know how to stay away from that as best as possible and not use food as a result of coping with it.
4. Some interesting details about yourself, such as your job, your family, your pets and your interests:
I'm currently a student of 16 years old. I LOVE photgraphy and I hope to make that a major when I go to college. I've grown up in a typical family life although I have no brothers or sisters. My family and I, even though we are a small one, are not at all close. Me and my mom cannot be around each other for very long. As for me and my dad, we are pretty close. We have many similar interests which makes it easy to spend time with him. I have a couple cats and some fish for pets. I love music. I've played piano since I was born and I can play over 5 instruments. Piano is my way to get away from my crazy life and just be myself.
That's a bit about me.
Hi all. Just joined for help with weight maintenance. I am not big at all - which is easier to say than it is to believe.
History with weight loss: For most of my life I have had a very unhealthy relationships with food. The first time I committed to a diet I was 8 years old. I think it was a control issue. For most of my life, many things have seemed out of control. It is easy for me to control food and my body. I, essentially, stopped eating for a long time. I would take in enough to sustain me (a couple hundred calories a day). My parents and family did not see what was really going on. When I moved away to college at 18, I decided to see a therapist for help with the weight issues. I was 5'6" and less than 100lbs when I started college. The doctor told me to get rid of any scales and not to weight myself when I felt the compulsion. The next time I stepped on a scale I was 22 years old. I weighed 125 lbs. It bothered me tremendously. My boyfriend at the time was very inactive, and I had become that way by association. I previously was very active - playing soccer, hitting the gym (obsessively...), etc. When we broke up (he was cheating), I hit my first real and true major depressive slump. I went down to 110 lbs in a month. I wasn't eating, I wasn't getting out of bed, I wasn't doing anything. I was 24 years old and felt like dying. I became reacquainted with an old friend during this time, and he motivated me to get out of bed and DO something. I signed up for a personal trainer at the gym and said, "I want to gain weight, and I want to do it right." Through diet and excercise I gained 20lbs over the next 2 years. I am now at a healthy 130lbs. HOWEVER.... I have recently relocated with my job. Since taking on this new role, exercise has become difficult. I am fluctuating between 129-134lbs, and I can't stand it. I am not as fit or toned as I was before. I play soccer three times a week, bike on a trainer 3 times and week, and on the road 1 day a week. But I just can't seem to stabilize my weight. It makes me extremely anxious... and devastates my body image. I can feel the old habits sneaking back up on me....
History with calorie count: I don't have any. This could be dangerous - the obsession with numbers is paramount to a person with a food disorder. I'm just hoping to monitor.... not obsess. I need folks to keep me in line there.
Reason for joining the group: I was diagnosed with depressive psychosis and anxiety over a year ago. I was medicated for 6 months and was feeling good. Like all irresponsible patients, I decided to come off of the medication (without weening.... cold turkey) and stopped seeing my therapist. I moved for a new job, moved in with my current boyfriend and changed my life... and then the symptoms started to return. I am distracted most of the day at work, my poor boyfriend doesn't know the HALF of what I think during the day, I sleep terribly, I'm tired all the time, etc. My doctor sent me for bloodwork for the fatigue and weight instability (looking for a thyroid issue)... but how do you tell someone when you KNOW it isn't a thyroid issue. There isn't anything wrong with my thyroid... I just think about dying all the time. It's a tiring train of thought. I obsess over my boyfriend cheating on me even though he never has. I try really, really hard not to take it out on him because this isn't his fault. I usually just stay to myself and try not to talk when I'm having an "episode". The stupid things that come out of my mouth when i'm at the bottom is ridiculous.
Anyway... I start back with a therapist tomorrow. So, hopefully I can get back on track soon.
Interesting facts about me? I'm a 26 year old workaholic. I'm a District Marketing Manager serving 165 public schools in Florida. I just left the operations side of the industry after 5 years in higher education operations management. It has been a different challenge. The funny thing is: I work in food service. How ironic, right? My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years almost entirely long distance. He is 22 years older than me. We have been living together since July. He is a good guy. We do not want children. I have 3 cats and a dog. They are the BEST. Animals are sometimes the only thing that can make me smile. I really love having them around. I love sports... playing and watching. I have been playing soccer since I was 8. I have recently taken up cycling, which I love. I love hiking and swimming. I was weightlifting and training for competition, but my work schedule now just does not allow the time commitment that requires. I miss it a lot.
saramurph:
I know EXACTLY what you are saying. At my lowest point, I only wanted to die and hurt myself, though I could never bring myself to do it any other way than just not eating and purging when I did. I was making sure I was burning almost 2000 calories a day while only eating around 600.
What has helped me most is that I want to have a child someday, but I can't have this and also have a child. I must become someone I would want my child to be around first. Anorexia does things to the brain. Maybe it's a lack of nutrients...who knows. It could be a culmination of everything. It almost ended my relationship with my husband. With him working 14+ hour days, essentially it was long distance for us as well. I ended up getting to the point he had me quit my job so that I could recooperate and we could work on our issues. It's much better now.
Whenever I used to have an "episode", I would listen to music. I suggest keeping a playlist of the music that best fits your mood. Sometimes, that's all it took for me to get better, sometimes in an hour or just a few moments. If you are hating, then go off and be alone and just HATE YOUR GUTS OUT. With it all gone, I found that I feel better. If you are feeling sad, go and cry and don't stop. If you think you are going to stop, force yourself to cry longer. Sometimes it turned out so rediculous that I had to stop for my giggles that would suddenly erupt.
Hi everyone.
Wow, I love how as I'm reading your posts I see little bits of myself in everyone's posts- it's good to be reminded that I am not alone in any of this stuff. Thanks to all of you for your candor.
So, I joined CC about a week ago and have been strugggling with food related dysfunction since my teens in addition to mental health and drug addiction. I've been doing ok, here but it's really hard sometimes because I want to fall back into my old self starvation/ self harm stuff with food. It's like since I don't always know what to eat I just get frustrated and don't eat at all which means zero weight loss which kind of defeats the purpose, right?
I joined this group because I've been in recovery for drug addiction for thirteen years, so drugs/alcohol are really not that hard for me to stay away from. But I quit smoking a year and a half ago and ever since have been battling with food. I guess you could say that the addiction took over in another area of my life when I put down the cigarettes. Around the time I quit smoking I went into a severe depressive episode and went way down into the darkness for several months before I could cop to the fact that it was, in fact depression and get the help I needed. I really started coming out of it in January of this year and have been learning how to live again since then. Now I'm here trying to learn how to eat better so that I can stick around on this pretty little planet for a lot longer than thirty-six years. I've never wanted to be alive as much as I do today, and for those of us who live with depression that can be a really big deal, ya know?
I am also happily married to a prince of a man who is my rock in this life; we just celebrated three years of marriage last week! We have a princess of a cat named Pennylane, and a great little house on the California Coast. I am a writer and artist, and am getting ready to get back into school to finish up my A.A. degree in History then hopefully transfer to the local Cal State school to get my B.A. also in History. I, too love music and keep a few play lists for certain moods. Since I tend toward depression during the Fall and Winter there are certain bands that are off limits to me until Spring; no Nirvana and wallowing in the whole I could go out like that thing, and no Pink Floyd and the romancing of madness to name a few. . . Metalica, too sadly just not a good thing for me to dwell in sometimes. But plenty of Ani Di Franco, Ryan Bingham, Liz Phair and Bruce Springsteen instead! A group of folks in love with life and love and all the good stuff I can't always enjoy. . . :)
So life is really full and joyful and I'm looking forward to getting to know all of you better.
Have a great day everyone!
Hello everyone. My name is Sabrina and the funny thing is yes I am a witch. Yes I have heard most of the jokes about that. Being a wiccan can be entertaining and hard at times. I suffer from depression off and on. Each time i think i am going up something hits me hard and I drop back in. I have always been large. At 16 I was 180lbs and that was my lightest that i remember. I have a tendency to eat my feelings it's seems safer then expressing them. I am starting to express things. Which doesn't seem to be making my life any easier. I joined CC just yesterday. It helps me keep a real eye on what i am eating and when. I have a tendency to feast then famine myself. I am getting a new scale since the one i was using isn't working. Last i knew i was 250lbs.
My best friend was Wiccan. I honestly can't say I know a lot about it, but I do know how infuriating christians can be. Be easy when you're starting to express things, espcially to anyone who goes against you or annoys you. It's easy to overdo it.
Orricleferret, I am a christian and I start out to say that I wish you well in your pursuit of weight loss. I have known a couple of wiccans and they have been very helpful to me, as we disagree on practices we come to terms on friendship. So good luck to you and I am here for you and to say God loves you as He loves us all.
I am new to CC and find that it is very friendly to use. I have been on meds for depression 7 plus years and would love to come off of some but know that this is part of a life time thing for me. I am over weight and am sick of my parents telling I am fat and calling me names. At 47 listing to this my hole life is the pits. Any way I am glad to be here and I think that writing in a journal is a good thing so I am ready to start getting better and lose weight. I also have dyeslexia and sometimes have been lol at on other chats because of spelling problems. Have a great day everyone.
WELCOME LITTLELAKE62
I suffer from depression and have for far to many years. I am doing good right now, but I stiil have my bad days. I to am overweight. But from help from people in here and with the help of my husband and drs. I have been able to drop almost 30 lbs this year. Please be aware that alot of aniti-dpressants will make you can weight, The meds I take are abilify and wellubtrin, I started them a year ago and I really belieive they have helped me lose weigh. Last month my dr. put me on respirdal to help get trough some rough times and I gain 12 lbs. Needless to say I went off that med. of course with my dr. permission. Good luck to you.
k192
littlelake, Don't listen to others try and lose weight for yourself it is the only way to truly do it. Loved ones try and motivate sometimes negatively but it does not work it only pushes us to eat more. Have you told them how you feel and how it makes you feel? I have had to. We have to do this on our own and find people who will positively support us even if we mess up. So do your best and you will be successful.
I suffer from depression in addition to other things. I am taking wellbutrin, lexapro and xanix. my weight as of last week was 213 and I would like to be around 190 by April. But I messed up BIG last night back on the path today.
take care
I am 32 years old. Married with 2 children. I suffer from clinical depression, anxiety disorder, anti-social personality disorder, ptsd and a few other minor ones. Currently only on lexapro 40 and ativan 0.5. Psych. discussing others with me at next appointment. I have suffered from all these most of my life. I have a problem with weight. I have never been a healthy dieter. When I start dieting, I am a HUGE calorie counter. I tend to try to stay around 1000 a day or less. I have been told by many that this isn't enough...What is? I am currently around 130 lbs. I want to be around 110-115. My goal is to be at that weight by Dec. 31st. I gained 20 pounds in a 3 month period over the summer due to illness. Had surgery to relieve illness but am having trouble dropping the weight. I started dieting just this week. I am keeping a log. Can someone point me in the right direction?
I'm 21 years old, single. and have learned to deal with the low points in my day which i would say would be chemical imbalances that make me think in a depressing train of thought, usually when i wake up in the morning and lay in bed is when it happens. i find that keeping myself busy, trying to improve myself: socially with people, mentally by listening to/making music and physically through fitness help me a lot. i think this site is awesome because i have a place to come log all my nutritional and fitness gains than in my notebook. Id like to be 160lbs of solid muscle but i got a ways to go. I usually use my own workout routines which some people might think are stupid but i like trying new things which have worked for me in the past and are a culmination of things i've learned while being in wrestling. My body has a fast metabolism and it can take awhile for me to gain unless i eat a whole lot which i have done and it worked but id rather have a more thin ripped looked than a muscular bulky one. I cut 15 lbs to be at 146 right now. I'm trying to rid my body of all fat as much as possible and then i plan to bulk up again and hopefully gain a lot more muscle and cut down again. Its a cycle i plan to follow until i hit my target. If anyone has any ideas or questions for me feel free to hit me up. and my names steve.
My name is Sam and I have been around CC for a couple of years. I am down 47 pounds with another 50+ to go but it's going nice and slow... I have been diagnosed with depression and mild bipolar disorder and struggled for years. Most recently I tapered off a very high dose of morphine I had been taking for 2 years due to a very painful bout with rheumatoid arthritis. The morphine withdrawl threw my depression into the worst downward tailspin I ever been in my life. It's been heartbreaking to look at my three awesome kids and not get any joy out of just hanging out with them like I used to or feel the close loving bond with my husband. What I would give to just be able to "feel" again.
I've been on topamax for quite sometime to smooth out the bipolar cycles but have come to realize that the "ups" from those times were what used to pull me out of the really bad "downs" of my depression in the past. I also used to be incredibly creative, turning silverware into poetry kind of creative, and now I can't do anything, it's dead. My 6 year old says "mommy lost her craft".
We're trying out a new med, Pristiq (it hasn't kicked in yet, so there is still lots of crying when no one else is around), combined with the Wellbutrin I've been on for awhile.... taking these medications, it's all such a trade off, don't my kids derserve a mom who isn't cycling up and down? But don't I deserve my life?
Hi Sam Of course you deserve your life, I can sympathize with you because I'm going through some of the same things you are. Do not ever let yourself keep yourself from crying, it's one of the best coping mechanisms our body has and it is something that is perfectly natural and I think one of the best things we can do for ourselves when we need relief from stress. I'm a grown man and as a matter of fact, I'm in my 50s but I have no shame in saying that I cry. Do not feel shame from crying! Having had depression and the consequences of the medication that you have to take to combat it, I can also sympathize with your battle with prescription medicine. Between Xanax and Paxil and a host of other medications prescribed and sadly enough some self prescribed liquid prescription which I have begun to finally get a hold of I understand how you can feel you've lost the creativity you once had, trust me when I say that you truly have not lost it and as a matter of fact the old saying is true "Whatever Does Not Kill You, Will Make You Stronger"! Keep searching and you will find yourself just as I'm sure I will find myself also :-) My Very Best to You Neil
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