Welcome to the Group

Welcome! We would love get to know you, so please tell us a little bit about yourself. You can choose any format you'd like, but most of us here share some or all of the following details:

1. History with weight loss:
2. History with Calorie Count:
3. Reason for joining this group:
4. Some interesting details about yourself, such as your job, your family, your pets and your interests:

And now just go ahead and make that first post!

Hi, I'm Tiffany and I appear to be a lot fatter than most of you. I am 412 pounds as of today. It is the highest i have ever been. At one point i lost 150 pounds and was 160. I was starving though and my hair and teeth started to fall out. Now i am really big, bigger than i ever dreamed i'd be. I can't work anymore because it is too painful to be on my feet that long and i can't sleep in the bed with my husband because i wake up not being able to breathe unless i sleep sitting up.

I am afraid of dying because i am only 43 and i want to have some kind of future but without insurance and no money for doctors care i am on my own.

OK, that sounds pretty bleak. I am actually fortunate to have a loving husband who loves me no matter what i look like but is worried about my health and a beautiful daughter in college.

I was a chubby kid and now I am a failing and obese pre-menopausal woman. I have to stop so i am hoping to find some support online.

Thanks for listening

Tiffany

For a binge eaters support group there are a surprisingly large number of member who are pretty skinny... I'm not one of them, I am actually a big girl who has finally come to terms that my 4-5000 calorie binges are problematic. I'm 198 lbs right now, I have gained about 10 lbs in a month due to my binging and lack of exercise. This is a tough disorder, you can't just live without food; and having so much of it around is an awful temptation for someone with little self control.

How do I even begin with a recovery program? It's embarrassing for me to admit- although my size is probably a good indication that something is awry. I really want to get a grip on this, I'm worried that my weight will skyrocket again.

I'm 15years old and 5'2. I used to weigh 120lbs about a year and a half ago, when I first decided to make a change. I made the high dance team last season (this is my second season this year) and instantly got the motivation to be fit and lose weight. I went crazy and worked out every morning for 1 1/2 hours in June, along with 2 hour dance practices filled with conditioning and strength training. I ate less than 1200 calories. I got down to my goal weight of 100lbs and was extremely happy. I backed down on the exercise and upped my calories and actually maintained my weight throughout this year.

Recently, beginning in February/March, I began cheating a little bit everyday on my eating. I would sneak in an extra 100 calories worth of Cheerios, or maybe have a dessert of yogurt w/ blueberries, strawberries, raspberries, and dark chocolate chips. Sometimes I would do both. I still didn't see any weight gain. My body fat was hovering around 10-12%. I felt invincible. However, I crossed the line and began binging. It started with my birthday party in April, and went downhill from there. I usually had a week to recover and get the weight off, but then I discovered trail mix. I'm addicted and I'm embarrassed to say I finished a whole economy size one off in 4 days at dance camp. I have finally come to terms with my problem, and finished off the final bag I will ever get today. Tomorrow will be the start of my journey back to healthy eating and weight loss. I weigh 110lbs right now, and my goal is to be back to 100lbs.

I need all the support I can get! This is an awful problem I have developed. I eat to excess because I'm the type of girl who cleans her plate. I'm not too concerned about the weight; it's the bingeing that is my focus right now. I want to be happy with my body and love the skin I'm in. My belly bloats after I binge and I've lost my beautiful stomach that I used to love so much. Please help!

Original Post by stacytaylor:

I'm 15years old and 5'2. I used to weigh 120lbs about a year and a half ago, when I first decided to make a change. I made the high dance team last season (this is my second season this year) and instantly got the motivation to be fit and lose weight. I went crazy and worked out every morning for 1 1/2 hours in June, along with 2 hour dance practices filled with conditioning and strength training. I ate less than 1200 calories. I got down to my goal weight of 100lbs and was extremely happy. I backed down on the exercise and upped my calories and actually maintained my weight throughout this year.

Recently, beginning in February/March, I began cheating a little bit everyday on my eating. I would sneak in an extra 100 calories worth of Cheerios, or maybe have a dessert of yogurt w/ blueberries, strawberries, raspberries, and dark chocolate chips. Sometimes I would do both. I still didn't see any weight gain. My body fat was hovering around 10-12%. I felt invincible. However, I crossed the line and began binging. It started with my birthday party in April, and went downhill from there. I usually had a week to recover and get the weight off, but then I discovered trail mix. I'm addicted and I'm embarrassed to say I finished a whole economy size one off in 4 days at dance camp. I have finally come to terms with my problem, and finished off the final bag I will ever get today. Tomorrow will be the start of my journey back to healthy eating and weight loss. I weigh 110lbs right now, and my goal is to be back to 100lbs.

I need all the support I can get! This is an awful problem I have developed. I eat to excess because I'm the type of girl who cleans her plate. I'm not too concerned about the weight; it's the bingeing that is my focus right now. I want to be happy with my body and love the skin I'm in. My belly bloats after I binge and I've lost my beautiful stomach that I used to love so much. Please help!

You are binge eating because your body is starving and you need nutrients to live. You are currently underweight and this site does not promote anorexia. You need to get help.

Hello everyone, I'm Ashley. xP I'm 16 and my background info is in my profile. The one thing that led me to this group, however, is also there, my binge eating problem. Ever since I was 190 lbs. (I'm 158 now) I've been having a binge problem. I reached my lowest weight this April, 140 lbs., on a 1200- to 1300 calorie a day diet and lots of exercise... but then a series of binges all through that month had me gain it all back, and I honestly hate my body now (at 158 lbs.). I've tried so many crash diets but they only made me binge harder (so I definitely learned THEY DON'T WORK! T__T) and I hate hate hate everything in my life right now thanks to my body and binge cycles. THEY RUINED MY SUMMER. Countless days and weeks over this ENTIRE summer I binged, fasted, binged, and started new diets trying to get down to 130 as soon as possible for my 11th grade year, which starts in TWO WEEKS NOW, and I feel like a fat wreck just in time for it with no sign of losing the weight or the cycles. I'm in a living hell. I'm in such a panicky mood right now that I could binge again and I feel that this lifestyle has taken over me. It needs to stop, I need to normalize my diet again, and I need help... so I came here. And yes, I just binged... but I'll post that story elsewhere for now...

Hello I'm RedCrow and I didn't realize that I even had this disorder!

I'm 5'3" 204 lbs My top weight was 223

I started gaining weight when I was 16 and went from 135lbs to 180 in about 1 year. I lost 40lbs when I was 20 and gained it all back plus some around age 23-24. I reached my top weight at 26.

I am now 31 as of 8/27 and just can't take it anymore! I feel so frustrated mainly because the only help I get from my Dr. is "Eat less and exercise more." WELL DUH!! If it were that easy for me then I wouldn't be here!

I've used CC off and on for about 2-3 years along with some other weight loss sites. So I know exactly how much I should eat right down to the last cal. and I know how much to exercise.

My problem is not being able to control the horrible binge eating.

Anyway I'm hoping to get some good advice and motivation from this group and maybe that will be the extra kick in the butt to help me get to my goal weight of 135-140

1. History with weight loss: I am 52 and have been on a diet off and on for the past 37 years. Like another person said in their post, I think about food constantly. The most weight I have lost in one continuous spurt was 44 lbs through Weight Watchers in 2005. I was doing great for six months, then I ate some cake and fell off the wagon. I gained the weight back, plus 20 more pounds.

Some of my attempts to control the binge: I spent $2,500 to attend a Geneen Roth seminar 8 years ago. Her theory is to not diet, to listen to your body and only eat when you are hungry. That doesn't work when you binge--you never listen to your body, you just eat. I began a program with a weight loss doctor last August that included meeting with a nutritionist, fitness expert and psychologist. By November, I had followed the nutrition advice, still hadn't committed to exercise and continued to see the psychologist for 6 sessions, but couldn't stop bingeing. I felt the psychologist was too easy on me so I changed psychologists and after 4 sessions thought the psychologist was a good one, but felt hopeless when I still couldn't stop bingeing. 

I eat when I am still full from my last meal. I can think of a food and then become obsessed with it and have to eat it. I hate exercise and find it hard to do at my weight. I weigh 335 lbs, the heaviest I've ever been, and my health problems just keep mounting. Clinical Depression, High Blood Pressure, High Cholesterol, Breast Cancer in 2007 that required lumpectomy and radiation, Orthostatic Hypotension (Feel dizzy after sitting for more than 30 minutes and have to be very careful to slowly adjust to standing and walking or I will faint.) My husband loves me, but he is getting tired of me always being tired and not being able to walk very far and the limits the weight puts on our life. He fears my health will only get worse. So do I.

I don't want to resort to Gastric Bypass surgery. I'm too scared I'll still have the same food issues and gain the weight back.

2. History with Calorie Count: I have reset my weight and goals 3 times in the past year with Calorie Count. I like the way it works and the nutritional analysis. I just need to track my food every day.

3. Reason for joining this group: I am a binge eater. I need a community to learn from and share with. I need some accountability.

4. Some interesting details about yourself, such as your job, your family, your pets and your interests: I have worked in Marketing as a Print Production Manager for over 20 years. Married for 30 years and have 2 adult children. Will be a grandmother in December. Have a minature schnauzer and love dogs. I am an avid reader and scrapbooker. Very artistic and love most things with glitter.

I am 30, and have struggled with weight and food since forever!  I remember my first negative body-image thought when I was 7, thinking I was fat in the little romper I was wearing.

At 13, I entered the scary world of anorexia.  My weight was catching up to my height, and we had just been on a fatty, sedentary drive across the country.  I looked in the hotel mirror at my butt and was horrified.  

Upon arriving home, I started a diet.  My plan we to eat only healthy things, but in unlimited amounts.  That subtly changed over the weeks, and I started restricting portions.  4-4-3-2 was my formula, gleaned from a health poster I remembered from my grade-school cafeteria.  4 breads, 4 fruits/veggies, 3 dairy, 2 protein.  But my idea of portions was really off.  I thought if I had a piece of buttered toast, that counted for 1 bread and 1 dairy (I thought since butter came from milk, it was a dairy food). 

I got down to 75 pounds and remember seeing my shoulder bones jutting out in the mirror, and my little elbow bones protruded.  My mom confronted me, in the gentlest possible manner, but I was so shattered that she knew I'd been hiding food in my lap and then throwing it away.  My world crumbled.  I felt blinded, dazed, and found out, exposed.  But through the rest of high school, my weight climbed back to normalcy, slowly.

Since then, I've discovered binging (never throwing up though).  I love food.  I adore it.  And when I'm shoving it in my mouth as quickly as possible, I feel like all my dreams are coming true.  I've lost weight down to 89 pounds (I'm 5 feet tall) and expanded up to 126, then back to 90, then back to 128, etc.  February 12, 2010, I weighed 93 pounds.  I was wearing size 0-1-2 jeans, feeling the happiest I've ever felt.  I was eating 900 calories a day of healthy foods, and going to the gym to burn at least 300 calories every day (without fail!).  I felt under control and thin and pretty and vibrant and ALIVE.

I fell off the wagon in the worst possible way, eating until it hurt every day.  Granola bars, candy bars, whatever I wanted.  Mentally, I felt like a failure, and my future looked very fat and depressing.  Physically, my poor tummy was pooched out from all the food and stomach acid and gasses.  I weighed 130 by April 13, 2 months later.  I'd gained 37 pounds in 2 months!  I was incredibly ashamed and horrified, wearing hoodies, thinking that might confuse people into thinking the hoodie was fat, not me. 

Now, I weigh 138, my highest weight ever.  I'm officially overweight, with a bmi of 26-something.  I have a big tummy-roll-paunch and my legs are cellulite nightmares.  My arms are doughy and I have a very limited selection of clothes I can wear.  My closet contains jeans from size 0 to size 11.  Now I wear my husband's t-shirts to work, and I feel so frumpy and ugly.  My gym attendance (surprise surprise) has gone down to about once a week, if that.

I want to maintain a 1200 calorie diet (900 was too few calories, as was evident when in January, 3 months after starting that diet, my hair was falling out in copious amounts).  I've heard that's a safe but low number, and Biggest Loser contestants stick to that.  I want to go to the gym every day again, and burn 300 calories through cardio.  I want to lift low weights with high reps.  I want to be around 100-103 pounds.  90 was waaaay too bony and scary.  I didn't like what I looked like naked when I was that thin, seeing my sternum and my ribs, with very skinny arms, and my tailbone would jut out when I bent over. 

Complication:  I am off birth control for the first time in 10 years.  I don't want to be restricting proper nutrition in case I get pregnant!

I just joined this site early this morning, and I'm hoping it helps me overcome my disordered eating, my yo-yo dieting, and consequently my yo-yo confidence and unhappiness.

Ashley - I know exactly how you feel!  I would try to get my weight down in time for school too, having binged all summer.  I know that panicky feeling of, "I'm fat!  I need to lose this weight!  ASAP!" and then wandering into the kitchen and having 1 oatmeal cookie, which turns into 7, and then making a cheesy tortilla in the microwave. 

I'm sorry you've had such a bad summer because of binging.  I have too.  I've been binging since February.  Sometimes I think, if only I could go back to February 12, the day I started binging, and do everything different and stay in control.  My spring and summer would have been so much more fun - I could have worn my cute clothes and been confident and actually wanted to go places and do things and see people!  Instead, I just wanted to sit in my giant t-shirt and pajama bottoms in my darkened room, with a bowl of cookie dough.

Binging (and having a poor body image) really does ruin your life.  I felt my attitude about EVERYTHING just tank as the weight piled on.

I hope you can regain control and get that body back!  There's nothing better than that.  Be strong, and know you're not alone!

I agree with everything you say, love_me_do! My day was April 15 (or around then). "If I could only go back..." was basically the mindset that killed me for the entire summer...

I had the same great plans, great ideas  for cute clothes, etc., and all of it being ruined within a span of months, and reverting to that same mess, sitting in my room, depressed and just wanting to eat more!

Thank you so much for again letting me know I'm not alone-- you're not either, we're all struggling with binge eating here... but this week I'm already down my first pound, so I'm inspired! I'm trying to go slow and eat 1,500 a day because 1,200 might have been so low it triggered my binging in the first place (always hungry!) and if I have a treat, I won't torture myself over it... because that ironically leads to binging, too.

Good luck!

Hello,

 I am going by different name because of the shame I feel, but you can call me Teliana as my username. I am 35 years old and weigh 214lbs, about 97kgs, and I'm only 5 feet tall. I was just a few weeks ago 94.5kgs, but gaining again because of binge eating. I have been binging since I was app. 10 years old.

I joined this site, not really to count calories, but to have some support in trying to overcome this eating disorder I have, or at least am starting to think this is a disorder. I have so much to learn and so much work to do. My goal is to loose 65lbs within 8 months, but most of all being just a little bit lighter every time I step on that scale would be great, instead of gaining. Then if I reach that goal I may try to loose more. I think a great end result would be 130lbs for me. But again, just to stop the binging would be awesome.

I am not much of a dieter, a total Coke (the Soda) addict. I love chocolate, and almost anything sweet. Just two days ago I ate 7 sugar waffles and about half of a huge chocolate bar. I ate so much I felt sick, even the next day I was still feeling too full and gross. I still ate after my binge to avoid my boyfriend knowing that something was wrong. So after my binge I ate a regular super too.

I know my eating is emotional and for the last 15 years I have smoked pot almost daily, and a lot of it. Like one gram or more a day. I know a lot of my adult binge eating has been triggered by getting the munchies, but I did use food as my drug before I found pot. Now I abuse both pot and food.

I have had depression, anxiety and trichotillomania (compulsive hair pulling disorder). I pull out my eyelashes and eyebrows, mostly on one side. I think the development of many of my emotional health problems were in part because I had emotionally and physically abusive parents, and was sexually abused at a young age. 

Well, I'm a grown up now and have been for many years. After taking a degree in psychology and doing a lot of brain work on my problems it's time I use this knowledge and stop my binge eating and get some hard core exercise!

Any comments welcome.

Cheers to all you other brave souls, we are not alone.

 

 

 

Original Post by palipride47:

Welcome! We would love get to know you, so please tell us a little bit about yourself. You can choose any format you'd like, but most of us here share some or all of the following details:

1. History with weight loss:
2. History with Calorie Count:
3. Reason for joining this group:
4. Some interesting details about yourself, such as your job, your family, your pets and your interests:

And now just go ahead and make that first post!

Hi there!

I think my body initially encouraged me to binge because I lost too much weight in what was probably an (in retrospect) eating disorder I experienced from moving and getting stressed out/ having control issues. From the initial binges began emotion based ones, blah blah blah, I think everyone knows that story pretty well.

Today is two weeks binge free, and I'm pretty sure I'm almost there. Each day is a new chapter, a new step towards freedom, and every binge free day is a true blessing. I've been loving my body more, noticing physical changes (positive ones!), and am well on my way.

Currently a student, working, living, loving, getting happier each day :)

Hey Skinismy -

I'm so happy for you!  Way to kick the BINGE.  That is truly a freeing, wonderful thing.  I've been pretty good since 3 weeks ago, and am feeling so much better about everything.  It's so good to be out of the black hole. 

I wish you happiness and a binge-free LIFE!

Thanks for posting.  It's nice to hear about other people's success!

Hi,

My name is Mandi and I am 35 and have been living with binge eating since high school (that i can remember) I only found out that I am a binge eater about 3 years ago. I did some research on the net after a very rough weekend of binging and found binge eating and the symptoms were me to a T!  I have since gotten a therapist and she has helped me TREMENDOUSLY!  She is my life saver! I do still struggle with binge eating b/c its the only way I know how to live really. I have had numerous up and down weight loss and gains in my past. I don't really have a support system to help me. My parents don't really understand or really care about my issue ( i think they think its silly). My friends don't understand either..they just think I should STOP EATING! they have no idea what life I live when i am home alone.

I was online today looking to find an online workout partner and this site came up as an option and after reading about the site I joined and here I am. I need a support system very, very badly. I am sick of doing everything alone. I would love to knwo that someone is out there rooting for me (and me for them).

I am a single female, never married and live in a very rural area of Missouri. Its a very conservative town and well....I am not. So that part is difficult, at least as far as finding friends. I am a claims analyst. I work behavioral health claims for the state of Indiana. Its a pretty boring job, but I am going to school for social work so this job will be short lived. YAY! 

My family lives about 30 min away from me, I moved to this town because its closer to work and I could no longer stay with my brother, he is an alcoholic and it was getting out of hand. Like i said before, I dont have many friends where I live now, and talk to a few work friends...but thats about it.

I have an ADORABLE rat terrier named Wyatt that I got from a rescue shelter aout 7 months ago. He is pretty much my whole world right now...lol

I am a huge documentary junkie and I LOVE a good book!  I love to take my dog on walks and listen to blues and volunteer.

Thats all for now i guess...

I look forward to meeting everyone

Mandi

It is probably hard for people who don't have binge eating disorder to understand how incredibly consuming and serious it is.  I'm glad you found this site - here people will definitely understand what you're going through.

 

Hi Teliana -

I understand the need to be incognito!  Nobody I know knows I'm on this site - I'm so ashamed of my horrible eating disorder(s).  But it's a safe place to find encouragement through other people's stories.

I hope things are going well for you and you're meeting your goal of being a little lighter every time you step on the scale!  That's been a goal of mine too, but as my scale doesn't do tenths of a pound, it doesn't really work for me.  And of course, sometimes my weight goes up a pound (inexplicably!) and then I get discouraged.  But the important thing is to stay on track with eating healthy foods in healthy amounts, no matter what.  No starving, no binging.  Just beautiful (elusive) moderation.  :)

I've sometimes wondered if I could easily abuse drugs or cigarettes or alcohol, in light of my abuse of food.  I think I could.  It's scary to have an addictive personality. 

It sounds like you've had a tough past which has resulted in some emotional problems.  That won't be easy to overcome, but it sounds like you're on your way. 

I wish you much luck!

Hi everyone,

My name is Lucille and I'm a struggling binge eater.

I am 17 years old, 5'5'', and currently weighing in at 137 pounds. At the beginning of the year, this September, I decided it was finally time to lose the extra weight I had been carrying (weighing in around 155, which while not quite overweight, was still hitting hard on my self esteem) I put myself on an intensive restricting diet, consuming around or below a 1,000 calories a day and no binging. The first 20 pounds came of easily, but now I am struggling everyday with restricting and then binging. I am eating under 1,200 calories a day, and then binging at nights, which kills my self confidence and makes it so hard to keep on going. I've just started meeting with a psychiatrist/ eating disorders specialist, but the last few months have been a struggle with obsessively counting calories, weighing myself multiple times a day, and a few attempts at purging after binging. Add applying to college and a busy senior year schedule to the mix, and I have no time to exercise, and am not getting enough sleep to feel healthy or happy.

I'm so grateful to have found an online community like this, and I would welcome any support or suggestions people have for me. I read through some of the stories here, and they are equalling sad and inspiring. I hope we all succeed in beating this!

--Lucille

Hi I am Shawna. I am 28 years old, 5'4 and just hit the highest weight I have ever been-185 lbs (except for when I was pregnant. In high school I ate and drank whatever I wanted and fluctuated between a size 3 and a size 7. I was very into sports, basketball, softball, track, and was always on the go. My junior year I started cosmetology school and couldn't play sports after that because of the hours I was in school. I gained 40 lbs the first year. I became pregnant for my first daughter when I was 19 and weighed 145 lbs. Got up to 192 with that pregnancy. I guess I ddint really care at that point. Thought I would have more kids and would lose the weight after all that happened. Years went by and no more kids and I started to feel really conscience about my weight, but it seemed like the more worrisome I got over it, the more I ate. I don't know when the binging really started or if I had ate that way all along but was just burning it off, but it caught up with me. I just had my 2nd daughter April 2009 and got back down to 162 lbs but then got married and bored I guess. I will eat and eat and eat and eat. I got up to 176 and then was getting married in August, started to use Calorie COunt and lost 12 lbs. After the wedding I quit keeping track. I stepped on the scale to see 185. I wanted to cry. It is a continual battle. I eat out of stress, boredom, for fun, any and every possible reason. I love food. But not as much as I hate my body right now. I constantly feel like I need to eat. If I buy groceries I have to eat one of everything the first few days after. It is a serious problem. I have been to psychiatrists and tried to talk to my doc but feel so overlooked. Hoping to maybe find some tips from members of this group to control the urge to overeat.

I will have my Bachelors Degree in Health Administration/Health Information Systems in February 2011. I now work for a non-profit organization that does contract work for the State of Michigan. LOVE my job. We have a gym here for employees so I have been utilizing that. I have 2 daughters and 2 step daughters and just got married to my long-time friend (we have known each other since middle school). Also coach basketball and softball for my older daughters teams. Love to read and write. I think going from being on my feet all day doing hair to a sedentary office job has made a horrible impact on me, even worse than before. My goal is to get down to 140, which is the high side of my weight bracket.

Welcome. Shawna! You can read this thread: http://caloriecount.about.com/positive-daily- support-feedback-gt500-56, and if you feel it's a good place to get started, join us!

Hugs,

T

Hi!

 

1. My weight has yo yoed since I was 21 between 140 and 200 pounds. I am now aged 33 and pretty fed up. I over eat when I'm feeling emotional and with a history of depression that tends to be often. When I binge I feel like I'm stuffing down my feelings. Does that make sense? I had hypnotherapy last year to try and help, but that just helped me to understand when I'm overeating, not stopped me. In the summer I tried the Dukan Diet, which helped me lose 14 pounds. I have kept off that weight since July and am feeling lots more confident. I want to lose 40 pounds in total and get back to a healthy weight. I don't want to die of a heart attack before my son is at secondary school. I need help.

2. Just joined.

3. I wanted advice from people in the same boat who have overcome their food addictions.

4. I have a 4 year old son, and have been married for 2 years. I run my own pet services business. I love to socialise with friends and love spending time with my family. I have one dog and one cat.