Welcome...Healthy Gaining!
WELCOME to those who want to gain more than weight or healthy habits, but a more positive attitude and a better overall lifestyle!
Lets start by embracing our bodies, minds, and most of all, our hearts...what is your story?
Could you define "triggering numbers"?
Numbers are essential to weight gain.
And not everyone uses numbers to measure weight gain. Some people who wish to not focus on a number to control weight focus more on a meal plan with specific fat, carb, and protein intake. Telling someone to add peanut butter to their daily plan might be better to some gaining versus telling them to up their calories another 200.
Original Post by positivelinny:Triggering = unrealistic goals.
Please do not post here if you are going to be using triggering numbers to ed recoverers or if you are planning on discussing harmful topics.
This is a new forum, and we certainly do not want any ED triggers. We are working also to implement tools to coincide with members that need to gain.
So lets us have this forum move "forward". I also encourage anyone with suggestions to please contact us.
Now is there anyone with a realistic goal or view or story for gaining in a healthy way?
i really need to continue gaining, but im so scared when i get past a certain number and then start to restrict again. Also if i can do some form of excersise i feel like i should eat very lightly, its so bad. And well tonight, my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me becuse he cant take dealing with me any more. And he says im no fun to be around (and i know im not). Most of the time i'd rather be alone. I really would like to gain but i dont want to get 'fat' and be unfit and then try to tone up, then spiral back down again. Please help. Suggesions for healthy gain. (Also tonight is really hard because my anorexica really struck hard last year when my bf got mad at me and broke up with me for a few weeks, i freaked out so badly. He was mad because i alway thought he liked my friends and thought they were skinnier and prettier than me. I also relized that whenever i said this he would always say "no i dont like them, they look anorexic" (which is so untrue) But maybe that had something to do with it now that i think about it.)
Thanks for listening to me rant.
Please if you have any suggestions for healthy gaining and reassurance that i wont get 'unheathy-fat-extra weight', that i will be better. Feel and look better.
i know exactly what that's like. im not as fun to be around anymore either. granted I'M WAY BETTER!!! and i've gained 12 lbs since last year!!! i look so much better, my energy is better. but my boyfriend said the same thing. he said all i cared about was eating "healthy" or "right" and how we could never go out to dinner cause all i would eat would be 2 bites and stop, even though i would binge when i got home later.
but guess what...
sometimes no matter how hard it is, we need that. we tough it out on our own and for that, we become stronger.
im still looking to gain more weight, but im also afraid it will be unhealthy fat weight and not muscle like i desire. i still exercise a lot but now im taking in about 2000-2400 calories on days i exercise and 1600-1800 when i don't. its hard sometime cause i never have time to eat throughout the day but i realized if i do gain unhealthy fat, we are on CC. i can go back to cutting my cals a little bit and loose healthy, not restrict. best of luck!!!
P.S. and ever since i've gained weight, people have told me i've never look better. they say my skin is glowing, my hair shines and i look strong. ( look at figure competition models in their off season pics for inspiration. looking fit, NOT skinny is the key)
l0velikewinter- i know exactly what you mean. im afraid to gain too. i woke up one day after 5 years of having an ED-3 severe years-and said "thats it, i dont want to live this way" id tried to recover a few times before, but suddenly i could do it! that was 7 weeks ago..just upping my calories to 1200 made me look like the michillin tire man (all rolly...ick) and recently it almost scared me into a relapse...i went crying to my husband, who told me this wasnt a way for either of us to live. i have to focus only on being healthy or he cant support me as i waste away like hes allowed in the past...
i told him fine, then ill leave because i dont want to get better if its this difficult...well he refused to let me give up and kept after me to UP my calories. i started at 1400 cals the next day and actually...while i dont know my weight...ive gotten better! my waist is back to a healthy size, not bloated and painful all the time. my legs have a ways to go but improvement is def impoirtant
i know about wanting to be alone with your ED, hiding away from the world. but let me tell you, whatever i gained on my abdomen isnt fat...its healthy tissue that helps my body function. and i STILL have my abs! if i can do it (and its been so, so so hard) then you can too. good luck!
Lovlikewinter, you can do this babe. I know it is hard, but you have no other choice right? That is how I look at my recovery. I look at how far I have come and never wanting to go back to that dreadful place. Yes, we might still be in somewhat of a limbo sometimes, but if recovery was easy then we would all be cured in the first place. Healing takes time. But one day, we will look back on this long road, and we will smile, because through all the tears and weaknesses will come happiness and strengths!
Good luck and up the intake ladies and gents!
Hey! I have some of the same problems, I'm really trying to gain weight, but it's this constant battle in my head between being scared to eat too much and being scared I haven't eaten enough. I got so used to eating "diet" foods and non fat things, but I"ve been trying to switch the the skim or full fat version of foods to trick myself into consuming more calories. This does cause some anxiety but I'm working on just not thinking about it. My strategy is allowing myself to eat as much as I want of healthy foods (it's part of the disorder :\ I have my safe healthy foods and the unwanted bad foods) But I've been learning all about the healthy fats and proteins that I need, and now things like Olive oil, the good margarines, nuts and peanut butter, and all those higher calorie but still good for you things are finding their way back into my diet.
I'm still afraid of gaining unhealthy weight though, does anyone have any advice on exercise and how much is appropriate? I feel like a lot of my weight loss was muscle because I pretty much stopped all activity beyond attending class a few times a week last semester, but I'm not sure how to balance my exercise and my eating. I'm having a hard enough time gaining as it is, so I'm trying to do mostly strenght training and I've gotten really into yoga, but it's ok to do some cardio right?
Anyways, Thanks for starting this discussion board! This is a great support group, all of you can feel free to send me a message any time, I'd love to talk!
This is a great--and much needed--forum here on calorie count!:)
I'm a 15-year-old avid biker and am trying to gain weight while still enjoying my sport. I am currently 115 lbs at 5'4, and am looking to gain about 10 more lbs depending on where my body wants to be. I've got a lot more to my story than that, though.
(I hope nothing below is considered "triggering")
On January 7th of 2007 I collapsed on the floor at 76 pounds. My blood sugar was down to 20, my body temp was in the 90's, and my heart was quickly giving out. I was eating a normal amount at this time, but the malnutrition I had suffered from took a great toll. I spent 3 months in hospitals, hooked up to 10 things at once; 1 heart monitor, 4 IV's, 4 tubes distributing electrolytes, and 1 pulse detector. I was stuck in an 8x8 room, either on the bed or sitting at a tiny rolling table. I slept among crying babies (I was in the ICU) and beeping machines, ate 6 meals (all with a half-hour time limit for completion) a day, and was limited to sedentary activities only. Anything other than sitting was prohibited, and I was roomed right outside of a playground! I wanted so badly to play in the snow...I couldn't, though. I was lucky to be living.
Early on in my hospital stays I had a grand mal seizure and my heart stopped; I was medically considered dead for about 5 minutes. After that I lost my mental status for 2 weeks, completely losing my memory in the process. I had to relearn WALKING. I ended up having to repeat my freshman year of highschool, as I only attended 20 days out of the year and had the intelligence of a 6th grader.
My anorexia (medically termed as being very underweight) was mistaken for Anorexia Nervosa (medially termed as being obsessed with weight). I was accused of having an unrealistic desire to be a bean pole, being thrown into multiple metal hospitals that did absolutely nothing to help me. In reality, I had a bad gallbladder that was destroying my body! A malfunctioning gallbladder either makes one gain massive amounts of weight or lose massive amounts of weight. The gallbladder digests fats, and if you can't digest fats correctly, you'll either end up storing them away of disposing of them without using a scrap of it. I was lucky (note the sarcasm) enough to receive BOTH negative effects on my weight. First I gained 75 pounds within a few months of eating and exercising just as I always had, though my height stayed at exactly the same place. The entire time my GI system had been causing me severe discomfort whenever I took a bite of ANYTHING, though I had suffered from it for so long that I couldn't even identify the pain. Eventually my gallbladder kicked the aches up a notch, making it unbearable to eat. So what did I do? I complained about my stomach hurting and unintentionally decreased my eating. Because I was a teenager quickly losing weight, eating very little, and complaining of my stomach hurting, I was diagnosed as anorexic with only simple blood tests done to rule out a physical problem. It took over a year to find a doctor that would run a simple half-hour test to check my gallbladder, and when he did, he said that it had been infected for at last 2 years!! I had my gallbladder removed the next day, including some gallstones, black bile, and deadly cist with it. By the time this test was run, I was extremely ill mentally and physically. The surgeon informed me that I would have died by the weekend had my infected organ stayed unnoticed. If I hadn't gotten the test run my him, it was doubtful that anyone would have run it. At that point, my brain was so malnourished that I had the mentality of someone with Anorexia Nervosa. A funny thing happens when the brain is deprived of food; you act illogical and unlike yourself. Check out the Minnesota Starvation Study for more info on this. I'm extremely thankful for the doctor that ran the medical tests I needed despite my Anorexic habits. His dedication is the reason I am still breathing today.
So that's my story in a nutshell. At 40 pounds heavier I feel a TON better! I still don't get a period, though, so I need to keep gaining until it returns. Please note how I said in my story that I gained quite a good deal of weight before it plummeted. I was 200 pounds at my heaviest. My period stopped when I was still "overweight" at 150 pounds. I'm hoping I won't have to gain THAT much to get it back, but if I do, I do. I want to be healthy, and some people are healthier when they're heavier.
Anyways, I'm currently taking in 2700 calories on low activity days and 3000 on biking days, seeing where that'll take me. My maintenance level is around 2300-2400 and I bike for 10 miles no more than 3 times a week. I recently raised my calorie level, so I'm most likely going to move it up again soon. I don't want to count, but right now I have to since whenever I've tried being intuitive I've failed miserably. The second that i get to a "happy weight" I'll be chucking the darned measuring cups.:]
Oh, wow. Can I ramble or what?
That's how it started for me too! Though never as severe, and I'm still working on getting on the right medication. I ended up having really bad GI problems to where I couldn't even drink water without my insides going into spasms, I had no energy and I felt naseous all the time. Turns out it was my low hormones (which I've always had) which messed with my thyroid and interacted with the birth control I was on and that gave me GI problems. Luckily, one of the first things I did when I started feeling sick was stop taking the birth control. But since then it's been a long road to recovering and all that can really mess with your head. It's been nearly impossible to get any help from doctors because all anyone sees is a 21 year old female who dropped 20 pounds in a month and stopped eating, and assume I just wanted to be thin. I was at my worst back in October, and I'm still waiting to get put on the right thyroid medication, but the Endocrinologist is taking his time and meanwhile referring me to a psychiatrist to be treated for anorexia. Ugh, I could rant on forever about doctors. I'm just lucky my family and I pushed the doctors so hard to treat me asap or I probably would have ended up where you did. Sorry you had to go through that!
Any advice on how to get back into shape? I'm also a big bike rider, but I went riding for 20-30 minutes a few days ago and was down another 2 lbs the next morning. Could be coincidental I guess but I really need to be gaining weight and can't really afford to lose anymore.
Have you had your gallbladder checked, Gibbit? If I hadn't had mine removed I would have never recovered. With a malfunctioning organ like that, one can't help but get ill.
Oh, goodness! I could ramble on and on and on about ignorant medical "professionals" for days! My parents puched for me to get tested for physical problems, too. Without their support I'd be dead right now. The mental hospital I was shoved into by my doctor called social services, claiming that my parents were neglectful and gained complete control over me. Had the head therapist not let me go, I would have died in a residential anorexia treatment facility far from my family. I'm glad to hear that your family is backing you up. You'll get there with their support, believe me.
As for the biking, you need to avoid it unless you can supplement for it calorically. I did yoga and light weight lifting for quite a while in order to rebuild my muscles without burning tons of calories. It was hard to cut out bike riding, but I had to do it in order to recover my weight. At one point I was losing weight on 4000 calories a day while sitting for every second of my time! That's the annoying thing; refeeding often takes a lot of calories if one has suffered a great deal. Once you get back to bicycling, I would suggest tracking how far you go so that you can suplement for your ride properly. Don't go too far for the first few rides and don't go too fast either. After malnutrition has occured, you need to take things slowly.
I wouldn't spazz too much about the 2 pounds. I gain and lose 3 pounds extremely often. It's water weight, most likely. There's no way that a 20-30 minute bike ride would burn what it takes to lose 2 pounds of "real" weight.
I wish you the best of luck, Gibbet! I'll be praying for you.:]
Original Post by gibbit:I'm still afraid of gaining unhealthy weight though, does anyone have any advice on exercise and how much is appropriate? I feel like a lot of my weight loss was muscle because I pretty much stopped all activity beyond attending class a few times a week last semester, but I'm not sure how to balance my exercise and my eating. I'm having a hard enough time gaining as it is, so I'm trying to do mostly strenght training and I've gotten really into yoga, but it's ok to do some cardio right?
I just read this post.
Definately keep up the yoga, and only do cardio if you can supplement for it (as said previously). Please trust me when I say you don't need to worry about regaining a ton of fat. Your body will regain proper amounts of muscle so long as you do stretches or yoga every so often. I felt the exact same way when I began regaining, but now I can see that my thoughts were nonsense. I still don't have high enough body fat to get a period, so obviously I haven't gained much fat. I've only recently started biking again; yoga and stretching were my only "workouts" and that worked fine. What you need to focus on right now is recovery. If you need to, you can always convert fat into muscle once your body is stable. That would be much safer. I know it's probably hard to believe right now, but you'll seriously be fine.
Thanks so much! Advice like yours is just what I need to keep me sane :)
My gallbladder is fine now because luckily, as I said, I stopped the birth control right away. The kind I was on has been linked to gallbladder disease apparently. They had found that it wasn't processing everything overly well, but other than that, everything was fine, there were just the lasting effects of it. My family was supportive in making sure I got everything tested, but they were also first to notice the mental disorder it was creating in its path, which made me really resentful for a long time, but now I realize I need to become myself again.
I really love yoga, but I also really miss biking, and it's so hard to resist going out for a ride now that I have my energy back!
Original Post by gibbit:Thanks so much! Advice like yours is just what I need to keep me sane :)
My gallbladder is fine now because luckily, as I said, I stopped the birth control right away. The kind I was on has been linked to gallbladder disease apparently. They had found that it wasn't processing everything overly well, but other than that, everything was fine, there were just the lasting effects of it. My family was supportive in making sure I got everything tested, but they were also first to notice the mental disorder it was creating in its path, which made me really resentful for a long time, but now I realize I need to become myself again.
I really love yoga, but I also really miss biking, and it's so hard to resist going out for a ride now that I have my energy back!
That's great to hear that you're stable in the GI tract! I'm glad that you didn't have to get the surgery, since it can be rather dangerous for those at low weights. If you don't mind me asking, how much do you weigh right now and how tall are you?
I'm proud of you for deciding that you need to return to yor old self! I tried to recover from the mental aspect once starvation stole the logic from my mind, but only with my family's desires in mind. I didn't want to get better. Once I decided to reclaim my dignity and get better for MYSELF, I succeeded. After you get to a stable weight or your body the mental disorder will begin diminishing. When I first began weight recovery, I didn't allow myself to drink juice or eat fruit because of the sugar, eat grains because of the carbs, or eat potatoes because of the starch. Now that I've regained proper mentality, I enjoy whatever foods my heart desires! I sweeten my oatmeal with honey in the mornings, eat tons of fruit, drink juice and eat potatoes when I want, and have desert when the graving hits. I don't go stir crazy on sweets, of course, since I have hypoglycimia and need to watch my blood sugar. I have normal sized portions paried with some form of fat to balance it out. But when I feel like having some ice cream, you bet I'm gonna have some ice cream! I remember when I got my first post-ilness blizzard from DQ. YUM.:P
I can feel your pain on the subject of biking. It was REALLY annoying for me to avoid it, too! SUCH a strong urge to move comes with regained energy, especially when friends invite you to come ride with them. When my friends asked me to go biking, I asked if we could go on a walk instead. Maybe you could try that? A short walk really doesn't burn too much off if you go a lighter pace, but it can help to satisfy the urge to move.
Weird how our bodies don't only crave foods, but crave actvivites, eh?;] I say you should listen to your body and do a very moderate amount of cardio exercise just to maintain your sanity. Something that's important to learn is that everything can be okay in moderation. Plus, a small amount of activity now may reduce the chances of overdoing it once you're at a stabler weight.
The purging continued randomly for a couple of years , but I maintained my weight because I ate normally otherwise (if we went to McD's I'd eat what my friends were eating, had dinner with mum etc) I'd go through periods of heavy restriction but as soon as I dropped 5lbs or so I'd go back to "normal".
I went through some traumatic experiences (bullying, psychological abuse) which caused me to obsess over calories/fat/weight etc. It was the only thing I felt I could control. The weight came off fast. Then my body started rebelling and I found myself in the dreaded binge/starve cycle again. With time, it progressed into binge/urge and starve cycle. I dropped more weight.
I saw it as more a coping mechanism than an eating disorder. However after a while I began to realize I was being consumed by it. I became withdrown, depressed and scared of eating/gaining. My mother discovered I had been purging and I guess that's when it started to really hit me - this wasn't normal...
I kept deteriorating regardless of this realization - I was addicted.
I hit low weight after low weight and it still wasn't enough. My life took a back seat and all that mattered was keeping my eating disorder. My "control mechanism" made my whole life spin out of control. And I couldn't stop.
Over time (a year or so) I came to hate the eating disorder, and desperately but secretely struggled to rid myself of it. I'd get a little better and then get a lot worse, and round and round it went.
It became obvious to everyone that there was something wrong with me. People started expressing concern to both my parents, and the brave ones even spoke to me about it. I've hit rock bottom several times, and I've been in the recovery process for a few months now. There's still a pattern of one step forward, two steps back. However, I do believe the steps back are getting less frequent.
My lowest weight was 93lbs, I am currently hovering between 99-101lbs (the scale gives me an exact reading but I've decided not to stick to a number but rather give myself a 2lbs range as my "current weight") And I have successfully gone 5 days without starving, bingeing OR purging (the longest I've gone since starting recovery is 8 days, but I starved rather than purge for 3 of those days) I feel alive again.
I want to gain another 10lbs or so, maybe 15.
But most of all I want to be happy again. And healthy.
Thanks for reading :)
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