Where's Vanessa?
I know there are others out there wondering when we're going to hear from Vanessa! I can't wait to see pictures of the wee one :)
Hopefully she's taking advantage of her daughter napping and is napping herself!
But I also can't wait for pictures!!!!!!
I have to get used to this motherhood thing!! I feel like I have to keep her to a schedule- which she's been doing; but she's only a week old and I don't know how to stimulate her- she's on her gymni- loves looking at herself!!! but she doesn't really play with 0+ month toys yet- I probably wouldn't either; if I was a week old!!
Parents have been very helpful; DH not so much; I've literally lost 21 pounds so far; and my belly has shrunk down to about 3 months prego. I'm breastfeeding- but pumping b/c it hurts!!!!! but I want her to have as much as she can from me.
how is everyone?
Your baby is gorgeous!!!
Don't worry about stimulating her with toys right now, she is still so new! When my boy was little, I would talk to him and sing him nursery rhymes and read him books. Goodnight Moon was/is his favorite...anything lyrical will do the trick.
I also spent a lot of time talking to him and telling him how happy I was to have him.
My son's dad was kinda MIA, too. Don't worry...all your baby girl needs right now is you! (sorry dads, its true)
What a beautiful baby, Vanessa.
How is baby Julia sleeping?
Congrats on 21lbs down so far.
I used a pump mostly too. It hurt way too much and didn't get better for me.
I'm glad that your parents are so helpful. They really do come in handy!
New babies can sometimes frighten new dads. They do not (normally) have that natural instinct that Moms do.
21 pounds is amazing! I hope I can drop that much that quickly.
I may pump as well. Breastfeeding was painful for me too, so I did a lot of pumping. However, I wasn't producing much, so I ended up going entirely with formula. I hope I'll be able to produce more breastmilk this time.
I've been having contractions like crazy, so I'm hoping today is the day, or at least within the next few days. :)
She is perfect!
I love it when babies have tons of hair.
For me, breastfeeding was really, really painful (and I know this is scary to hear, but...) until the first scabs fell of my nips. After that, no problem. I just had to grit my teeth and bear it for the first two weeks. I probably could have avoided the scabs if I'd been willing to stick my finger in the corner of the baby's mouth to break suction before I pulled her off. Unfortunately, I have medium long fingernails and I hate sticking them in a baby's mouth because I always worry I'm going to cut their gums.
Either way, as the baby's mouth gets bigger and they get used to latching on, it gets much, much easier.
Wow she is beautiful Vanessa!! Congrats again!! I hope my baby is that pretty.
I'm a little lonely though. I'm stuck at the house by myself all day and I can't drive still b/c of the surgery. Of course I love this little one but she's too small to take anywhere and it's too hot for a walk- even in the morning! Hopefully the next week will go quickly so I can get out a little more. DH is going away this weekend so it will be me and her. My parents are a "package deal" they don't go anywhere without one another; so sometimes that can get annoying. I know I sound selfish- this whole thing is a little daunting and overwhelming at the same time!
I have good night moon. I'll have to start reading it to her.
cecily- i'm so excited for you!! you are NEXT!!!!!
I too; was surprised at all that hair! She has amazing blonde highlights!!!
Hey Vanessa,
First off, hang in there. There first few weeks are the roughest--you're hormonal, your boobs hurt like mad, and you're just learning to be a mama. Of course, you're stuck home without your husband, and you have to learn what it means to be devoid of, as I call it, "mature adult interaction." I hated being at home with my wee one for the first few weeks, to be totally honest. I think, in my hormonal non-bliss, I mentioned to the boy's dad that I wanted to put him up for adoption, and I was totally serious!! It gets better. You learn the rhythms of your child, you learn to love the precious time you're spending with her. A return to the "real world" will come soon enough, and you'll probably wonder why you felt so isolated and stranded sitting at home with a bundle of cuteness. Oh, and lastly, you don't need to buy into the belief that you MUST keep the baby home for x amount of time. I was out walking with our son two days after delivery, and within the first week, I was doing my usual 3 mile loop at the park. It was a MUST for my social sanity. There is no harm in strolling to the coffee shop and trying to have some semblance of a life. Plus, the social interaction with the baristas was indispensable.
this baby eats and poos and sleeps so well; barely even cries- i'm so lucky- just stinks thatI still can't drive b/c of the surgery but that will be over by next Wed. DH went to North Carolina for a biz trip this AM; so you know I was crying into my lunch when he left! He came back to get a set of keys; I think he could tell but didn't say anything. he is'n't good with stuff like that!
Vanessa,
seriously honey, HANG IN THERE, I promise you, it gets better... and better and better. You can't even imagine it now, but these first few weeks will be over before you know it, and things will be running MUCH more smoothly. I agree with machatica, there is no rule about WHEN you can take your DD out of the house, I was out with mine when she was 2 days old (I went home form the hospital the next day). Its all about what YOU are up for and a little fresh air will do you BOTH some good. If I could do ONE thing over again, it would have been to get out of the house more in those first few weeks. Even if it was to just go to a cafe and sit and watch the people.
I had my DD here in Australia with all of my family and my husbands family in the states, and I really didn't know ANYONE. It was very isolating, and top that off with all kinds of breastfeeding problems, bloody nipples, a couple cases of mastitis, and raging hormones, and believe me, I was in tears quite a few times. My hubby stayed home with me for the first few days, but went back to work when DD was 1 week old, and then it was JUST ME. 2.5 years later and that time seems like a foggy memory, and I have a happy,healthy, yet sometimes trying, beautiful 2.5 year old daughter who I can't imagine my life without. Its hard, because newborns really don't do much, eat, sleep, poop, have an hour or two of "play" time... which means staring at things really... and repeat, but as she grows, the play time will become more and more, the "toys" will become more interesting to her. Right now, the interaction time with you is the best stimulation you can provide, talk to her, sing to her, do whatever it takes for your own sanity (I did a lot of singing in the early days because it felt a little weird to me to talk to a baby that gave me no response... funny enough, my little one walks around singing all day long now! I created a monster!!!)
Parenthood isn't easy and it doesn't come with a manual, and worse yet, you have a million people giving their unsolicited advice about how and what you should be doing. In the end, you will find that following your instinct will usually get you to the right place. And it WILL get easier, and every day you have with your daughter will bring you joys and experiences you can't even begin to imagine.
Oh, and as hubby's go... mine was next to useless when my DD was quite young, firstly, he had NO IDEA about babies... didn't even know how to change a diaper (I made sure he learned THAT right away), but he has learned and grown with my daughter and is now a WONDERFUL father. And they have a very special relationship.
Having said all that... again I will say, hang in there, and if you need support or just to vent, you have plenty of people here who are here for you. Also, you have plenty of parents who have been in your situation and are more than willing to answer any questions you have.
btw... your daughter is BEAUTIFUL, I love the full head of dark hair!
I knwo you dont know me from a hole in the wall, but i have been in your exact situation. the only difference is that i wasnt breastfeeding (she would literally puke after and it would hit a wall across room) but i will tell you one thing! schedule!!! when i had my daughter i was literally 21 and single, her dad was 3 hours away and we werent together (he actualy had another gf at this point) so it was all me. I went back to work at 6 days old and she was with a family friend. I needed her on a schedule for our lives to work. Babies are the absolute smartest creatures on earth. they know what we need and with repetiiton they are willing to give it to us. i would put my daughter down consistently after a bottle (well 20 min later to digest ) at like 9 every night, no matter if she was tired or not, she needed to learn that this is bed time and this is where we sleep (which was emotionally hard on me cause all i wanted to do was hold her). then she would wake up around 3 am and usually i would just put my hand on her belly or back and just say something softly to her, just so she heard my voice (up until 6 months thoguh it was hunger and thats fine, she would get a bottle, go to bed then i would do this) but after 6 months, i knew it was just fussiness. after about 9 months of this, she was going to bed at night at 9 and not waking up till about 7 or 8. yeah tell me how awesome that is. Now get this, the doctor told me i was wrong in doing this because a baby needs to eat every 2 hours, the man wanted me to wake her up every 2 hours at night to feed!!!! are you kidding! i was working full time, doing mom full time by myself, did you really think i was going to do that! pssh no....and she turned out perfectly fine, i even did this with my son when i had him too and he was same way but he likes to sleep more, so he was actually 4 months sleeping 9 hour nights, ( wish he would do that now, but 2.5 year olds are earlier risers, LOL)
moral of story, YOUR the mother, you know your child better than anyone, and the best thing you could do for yourself and that child is to teach them that life has schedules and consistency is everything, if you used to go for walks at night at 6 pm then now you pack stroller and go for walks at 6pm. it will make your life so much easier if you guys "jive" so to speak. they are born with no time management skills, you need to instill them, and believe me, she will appreciate it because she will get to know that 9 is bed time, 6 pm is walk with mom time, it shows her consistency and children thrive for normalcy.
my daughter is 5 now and at 9 every night she will say to me ok mom ill see you in morning, and goes to bed by herself and in the monring, she stays in her room until i go in thre at 700 to wake her up for school. my 2.5 year old son is same way (though he gets out of bed in morning and makes a racket with toys) There is a samying that having a baby changes everything and it does, but it does not make us incapable of still being a human and still being our own independent persons. a good mother cores from a good woman.
and p.s. you made one freakin cute kid!!!!
Good luck with everything and realize every move you make is just another thing that you are learning, mistakes are forgiven and that little girl will love you unconditionally! enjoy it, it doesnt last long - take it from a woman with a 5 year old! LOL
Original Post by vanessa1031:
hi!!!!!!!! i'm here. I was only able to post one pic and then i was told to contact customer service. BAH!
I have to get used to this motherhood thing!! I feel like I have to keep her to a schedule- which she's been doing; but she's only a week old and I don't know how to stimulate her- she's on her gymni- loves looking at herself!!! but she doesn't really play with 0+ month toys yet- I probably wouldn't either; if I was a week old!!
Parents have been very helpful; DH not so much; I've literally lost 21 pounds so far; and my belly has shrunk down to about 3 months prego. I'm breastfeeding- but pumping b/c it hurts!!!!! but I want her to have as much as she can from me.
how is everyone?
CONGRATS!! Have you tried different holds for the b/f? I had to do the football hold because little guy was so big it hurt my back to hold him for very long! He was over 10 lbs at birth.
First off, let me echo everyone else's comments on the beauty of your baby girl!
I can't remember being told not to drive after my c-section. I didn't go anywhere for the first week after my daughter was born because we had an ice storm and it was too much of a hassle. After that, I drug her to my parent's and my in-laws almost on a daily basis (it was around the holidays). I, of course, didn't drive if I was taking the prescription pain medication they gave me.
My husband was also pretty useless with my daugher. She was the first baby he'd ever held and he was clueless. He was always nervous with her and she could sense it--she cried all the time around him in the beginning. He soon became more comfortable and she did with him, too. That's when he started helping out and giving me a break. I do remember myself crying over her crib many times (I still do it 3.5 years later but less often!).
From what I've read here, you are a strong woman. You can totally do this, no matter how difficult it is! Even though they may be annoying, parents are such a great help!
Congratulations and hang on!
She's the sweetest little girl! She has hair like her mama, very beautiful!
Like everyone has said in one way or another, it is hard but it gets better. I remember yelling at my DH when our second son was born to go buy formula because my nipples hurt too much to feed on his command! I only b/f for about 3 months. This time around I'm hoping to go the full 12 months.
Good luck Vanessa! Everything will settle...
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