Who's Lying Here?

I had an interesting situation happen to me today.
My best friend of 13 years (Trista) told me today that my boyfriend of 1 and a half years (Mike) was cheating on me with our mutual friend (Marie) for the first few months of our relationship.

Now the whole act doesn't really bug me now because if it did happen, it was so long ago, but someone is lying.. and that bugs me.  My bestfriend should not be lying to me.. and my boyfriend definitely should not be either.

Trista told me that Mike's best friends said he showed them pictures of him with Marie. I talked to one of his friends and he told me that Mike and Marie were dating at the same time Mike was dating me.
Mike tried to talk to the guy who directly told Trista about this, but he hung up on Mike. I told the friend I talked to that he needs to talk to Mike, but Trista claimed that they were busy and Mike should just talk to him over text messages to her phone.

Mike says he has never cheated on me, has never slept with Marie, and acts like he has no idea how this started..

Mike has never lied to me (to my knowledge) in the past, however, Trista and her ex (one of Mike's friends) are habitual liars... so i want to not believe them, but I don't know for sure.

I have tried to get in contact with the guy Mike "showed the pictures to", but he hasn't answered my calls/texts.
I've also emailed Marie about it, no response yet either.


Who's lying... I just don't want to start mistrusting the wrong person.
I just need an outsider's opinion

Why not just let the whole thing go? Does it really matter? You forgive the act, surely you can forgive the wish to not hurt you?

If your friend and her boyfriend are known for being liars then they are probably the guilty party. Funny how no one will respond to your calls for justification or proof...probably because they don't want to get caught! Even though they are. This type of thing bothers me because what is the point? People have lives to live and shouldn't interfere with others just because you are happy and they are not. Probably just jealous...it truly is a terrible disease. If you believe in your heart Mike is not lying then stick with him and by his side. He's your true friend in the end!

Kelely

Yes, I can forgive it.

I'm not going to be able to help the fact that I will naturally mistrust the person who lied to me about it.. and if I don't figure it out, it will drive me crazy.

I've been through too much with both of them to blow up about this.. but it still comes down to the point that someone started a rumor about this, or i'm being flat out lied to. 

But my point is that the only reason they would lie is to spare your feelings, right?

And if it's a rumor than it deserves even less consideration.

If its a lie which created the rumor, it was not meant to spare my feelings

Are you sure that Trista is really your "friend"?    Why would she tell you this to start with?  Is she jealous of your realtionship, does she just want to start trouble?  Why would she want to hurt you even if it is couched in the thought of not wanting you to get hurt?

Trust your gut instinct, it is usually right!!

Ah. I see.

Believe Only Half Of What You See And Nothing That You Hear.

Don't Trust Any One At All.

Everyone Lies.

It's what/why they choose to lie about that sometimes concerns/bothers me.

Are you sure that anyone is lieing?

Your friend said that someone told her something, your boyfriend said that what your friend was told wasn't true, bot could be telling the truth.

They could both be telling the truth.

I mean it is odd that the guy my friend heard this from hung up on my boyfriend when he called about it.. and wont answer my texts or calls either

Original Post by jrose15:

They could both be telling the truth.

I mean it is odd that the guy my friend heard this from hung up on my boyfriend when he called about it.. and wont answer my texts or calls either

Can you blame him? True or false: Either way it sounds like he was avoiding buidling more drama. Even amongst friends if he said something he'd heard. He may've heard exactly what he told your friend as well. He may've been telling the truth also.

well I mean, he said he was shown pictures and was directly told.   If he said he heard that this was going on, yeah I can understand that.. but he put himself in it by saying he was involved in that way.

Original Post by jrose15:

well I mean, he said he was shown pictures and was directly told.   If he said he heard that this was going on, yeah I can understand that.. but he put himself in it by saying he was involved in that way.

People sometimes lie/say things that aren't true. He may've been told directly in a joke/fake way. There may actually be photos of them together too. Mike may've said something stupid/silly the guy took seriously. The photos are just photos unless current/questionable.

Or: The guy may've told your friend the joking thing Mike said to him. She in turn may've added her own spin to it all. It could be due to confusion/drama queens. Even if he told her it was a ' non serious/joke remark. ' She could've just took it very seriously herself. Some girls are just the typical unintentional troublemaker.

i think most of the trouble making is intentional... unfortunately

I think it is best that you left it alone and tried to move on. If you go digging for the truth, you are bound to find it. Are you prepared for that? This is much easier said than done. I am sure if I were in your situation I would become one heck of a detective. Still, I think you are setting yourself up to get hurt.

What struck me about this is that you said she is your best friend of 13 years...and is a habitual liar. I can't imagine being best friends with someone I consider a habitual liar! How can you ever trust anything she says? Including this?

true.

i dunno,  probably cause her lies usually arent directed towards me.. but doesnt mean they couldnt be.

jrose:  Why don't you have a meeting with Marie and Mike and confront them?  See who's lying??? 

Original Post by jrose15:

I had an interesting situation happen to me today.
My best friend of 13 years (Trista) told me today that my boyfriend of 1 and a half years (Mike) was cheating on me with our mutual friend (Marie) for the first few months of our relationship.

Now the whole act doesn't really bug me now because if it did happen, it was so long ago, but someone is lying.. and that bugs me.  My bestfriend should not be lying to me.. and my boyfriend definitely should not be either.

Trista told me that Mike's best friends said he showed them pictures of him with Marie. I talked to one of his friends and he told me that Mike and Marie were dating at the same time Mike was dating me.
Mike tried to talk to the guy who directly told Trista about this, but he hung up on Mike. I told the friend I talked to that he needs to talk to Mike, but Trista claimed that they were busy and Mike should just talk to him over text messages to her phone.

Mike says he has never cheated on me, has never slept with Marie, and acts like he has no idea how this started..

Mike has never lied to me (to my knowledge) in the past, however, Trista and her ex (one of Mike's friends) are habitual liars... so i want to not believe them, but I don't know for sure.

I have tried to get in contact with the guy Mike "showed the pictures to", but he hasn't answered my calls/texts.
I've also emailed Marie about it, no response yet either.


Who's lying... I just don't want to start mistrusting the wrong person.
I just need an outsider's opinion

You conclude saying you dont want to start mistrusting the wrong person and prior emphasis what bugs you is that someone is lying to you.

Whether or not she is telling the truth about your bf, you should not expect what you describe as a habitual liar to remain honest with you.  Its like the mistress who ends up with the man and thinks to her he'll be faithful.  She may be less likely to lie to you but your dealing with a dishonest person so expect to be bugged at some point when you do discover yourself lied to.

Is this that time or is Mike covering his tracks? Sounds like a lot of heresay - even if he did date her, perhaps not when you were together and no necessarily to the point of sleeping together. If you cant get any confirmation either way, you'll have to bury it.

Just let it go.  Especially if it was from long ago.