"I wish someone had told me..." (better title?)

I'm working on a project for a summer class where we have to write an adolescent advice guide on the following topics:

Dating
Family
Puberty
Problems (driving, drugs, depression, anorexia etc)
Work
Friends
Sex
Sexuality

So what advice would you give an adolescent on these subjects? Preferably something you wish someone had told you at that age.

Don't get overwhelmed with crappy friends no matter how long you've known them. Friends come and go. 

If it sounds like a bad idea, it probably is. No matter how many of your friends are doing it.

First things that come to mind:

Work: Take a few minutes to read up on the labor laws that affect persons under the age of 18; they are available online at your state's website or probably posted in the Guidance Counselor's office at school.  My first job at age 16 was at a restaurant where nobody had any clue that there were restrictions on what hours students under the age of 18 could work, and there were weeks that I was scheduled for 40+ hours of work, on top of a full day of school.  I loved the job and didn't want to quit...luckily someone's parent made them aware that what they were doing was illegal and all the other students and I were given a proper student schedule.  It caused me a lot of stress, though.

I guess this would fall under "Friends" : Keep your mind and your heart open when it comes to people.  Don't be afraid to at least say a friendly word to someone who is somehow different than you, be they another race, religion, sexual orientation, etc.  You don't have to be everybody's best friend, but in closing yourself off to others, you may be passing up an opportunity to meet your next great friend.

I might come back and add more as I think of it. :)

Dating: You're probably going to say you've never loved anyone as much as your ex-boyfriend (or girlfriend), and each time you get an ex-boyfriend (or girlfriend) you'll feel as though you'll never love to that capacity again.  You're totally wrong.  Be patient, keep an open mind.

Boys lie... not just sometimes, but ALL the time to get what they want, and what they want is sex.  They will tell you what ever it is that they think you want to hear.  Pretty much what ever comes out of an adolessent boy's mouth is a lie.  (Pretty much)

*bump*

Is there really only 5 people who have advice?

I love all the advice given so far, by the way!

Life is not fair.  The sooner you figure that out the happier you will be.

Always be true to yourself.

Don't be afraid to be an individual and seperate yourself from the crowd

Very weird, this actually came up in another forum I frequent, where the vast majority of people are 17-40 year old men. So here is a link to that one, http://www.sherdog.net/forums/f48/words-wisdo m-20-year-old-798861/ if you are interested in reading the responses of that demographic. It's quite weird having a window into the their mentality and I find myself boggling that they think so differently to women. It's fascinating though.

Anyhow, mine would be

• Stay in school, you'll never regret having an education but you will probably regret not having one.
• You don't know everything so stop acting like you do.
• No matter how terrible you feel, someone else has felt just as terrible and has come out the other side - you will too.
• There is no single act in the world that is worth sacrificing your integrity for.

Things I wish someone told me from experience:

-You will get over him, in time.  You were infautated; not quite in love.

-Come up with a plan and stick to it to get your homework done since you'll get so much more of it in college

-Follow your mom's advice; no matter how irking she may be.  SHE'S RIGHT!!  and she's only looking out for you; and probably speaking from an experience she doesn't want to tell you about!

-Just becuase he asks you out; doesn't mean you have to say yes.  And; you don't have to fool around to get him to like you

-Don't wear one thing to school and then change when you get there.  Your mom will find out.  She has a sixth sense. 

Things I stuck to my guns about and am glad I did:

-Not drinking in HS-  and no drugs

-Not cutting class even it was boring as all get out

-Doing my assigned reading for English Lit (I don't know why but this really helped in college)

-Finding a hobby and making it a huge part of your teenage years-  mine was dancing; my sister's was music.

Work:

Yes, your job as a teenager sucks right now. But, work hard at it, be dependable and do the best you can and it really will carry you forward in the future. Having a reputation as a hard worker will help you! Even if it was only scooping ice cream or flipping burgers.

In general:

Stay open-minded and question everything! Don't just accept a belief because its what you've been brought up with or because thats what everyone else believes.

Dating:

Chances are your soul mate does not go to your high school. Dating will get better after, once you get into social circles with much more shared interests than in high school where you are shoved into a building with a bunch of people you have just an age and a zip code in common with.

Puberty:

Its an awkward time in your life.. but luckily its only a few short years. It'll be tough but once it's over, its completely over and you'll never have to deal with it again! :)

I guess taking this seriously.. I have one REAL word of advice for young people.

Young people of the world.. you're gonna **** up. You're going to make mistakes. You'll hurt people you care about, you'll be hurt by people you care about. You're going to do some really stupid ****.

All that said... always work towards being the best that you can be. Always try to excel in the ways you can excel. And eventually, you'll grow up, find maturity and be able to look back and say "Yeah, I did some dumb things, but I've learned from them."

Dating: Be sure you know what feelings you're really expressing.  This little crush may feel like love but it could easily be mistaken for excitement.  As you grow up you're going to learn the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone, and you're going to learn it the hard way no matter how much you prepare.

Family: You're going to think they suck for a while, and they're going to wonder what planet you came from.  Keep an open mind when listening to them and ask them to keep an open mind when listening to you, too.

Puberty: Really, it's okay to shave it all off!  You're not going to be considered a whore or weird for wanting a bald monkey.  Just let it be known it'll itch like hell for a week or so after it starts growing back.

Problems: Know when to ask help.  Seriously, just do it.

Work: No, the world does not cater to you.  You now cater to the world.  You don't like it when the bitch at the register is too worried about not breaking her nails as she rings up your coffee that's now making you late for work, don't do it to other people.

Friends: You're going to think they suck for a while, and they're going to wonder what planet you came from.  Keep an open mind when listening to them adn ask them to keep an open mind when listening to you, too.

Sex: Try it out on your own first.  Can't get pregnant by plastic, dear.

Sexuality: Embrace who you are.

I thought of a couple more:

- If you want to be treated like an adult, then act like one.  If you think you deserve extra freedom, extra privileges, etc., then PROVE that you have the maturity and responsibility to handle it.  Actions and words must always match.  Act like a child, and you'll be treated accordingly. 

- Prejudice exists.  Unfairness exists.  Bullies exist.  None of these things magically go away when you're an adult.  There will always be those people who will believe what they will about you, and you won't be able to do anything about it.  Therefore, ALWAYS respect yourself and rise above it.  Succeed in your life and make all those negative people eat their words.

I wish someone had told me... that she had the herpes... oops, did I say that out loud? haha j/k

Original Post by cellulitedelight:

Puberty: Really, it's okay to shave it all off!  You're not going to be considered a whore or weird for wanting a bald monkey.  Just let it be known it'll itch like hell for a week or so after it starts growing back.

I just finished laughing my ass off at work. That was perfect. If I could put something like this in my guide, I would. I don't think she'd appreciate the humor though!

I was lucky as a teen; my mother taught me well, and gave me great advice.  But here are some of the jewels that my teenage students don't seem to hear enough....

1.  Take some responsibility for some of your "bills".  Don't let Mommy and Daddy pay your way for every little thing.  If you do, when you actually have to start paying for things with your hard earned money, you will go broke very quickly.

2.  College can be a slap in the face, even if you make good grades in HS.  That teacher that seems to be trying to teach you like you're already in college... that's nothing.  Just wait.

3.  It's ok to be smart.  It's ok to be sober and straight (not high).  It's ok to be a virgin.  Trust me.  You'll survive the teasing.

4.  Pregnancy is not a right of passage.  So you're having a kid; it doesn't make you an adult, and while that baby is yours, it can be taken away. 

5.  You want to go to college but don't have much money?  Search for it!  Don't leave it up to your counselors.  If you do the leg work, you can practically get someone to pay you to go to college.

6.  Stand up for your beliefs.  It doesn't make you right or wrong, but it makes you who you are.

Dating:  boys lie, they'll make you cry, but you'll get over it when the next one comes along

Family:  No, you can't pick them but eventually you can pick when or how often you see them.

Puberty:  Really, try not to pop the pimples unless they're about to burst on someone.  And, think lotion when the itching starts on top.

Problems:  someone really is going through something worse than you.  Suck it up and figure things out, even if that means recruiting help!

Work:  Bosses may not know everything but more times than not they do control your money!

Friends:  They make make you angry at times or hurt you but the truly best ones will still be there for you.  Never rule anybody out either.  Sometimes the poeple you think are the most opposite of you are the best ones to have as friends!

Sex:  wait until YOU are ready, not when everyone else is.  When you are ready, think safety first!!!  (see dcyounts^^)

Sexuality:  You and only you knows what that means for you, don't let anyone convince you otherwise.

Dating: When you go through a really tough break up and it feels like the world is crumbling, after all of the hurt ends, you have to be able to look back on it and gain something from the experience. What parts of that relationship were good? What parts led to the end of it? What can you do better next time? What traits should you look for in your next partner, and which traits should you avoid? You have to make yourself grow from it - that way, it wasn't all for naught.

Family: You are always going to be a little kid to your parents. Yes, they will be overbearing. Yes, they will force you to do things that you HATE. Let's be honest though, they're not trying to hurt you. Odds are, you'll look back in 4 years and thank them. Sometimes its best just to know when to stop arguing back and to humor them.

Puberty: Your body is going to be out of whack for a while. Don't hate yourself or your image because of it. We were all awkward and pudgy and its going to be like that for a year or two. Its okay. Just wash yourself and be hygenic and everything will come out allright! Just know that its normal and that everyone goes through it.

Problems:
Body Image:
Models in magazines? Retouched. A lot.
"Teenage" celebrities on TV? Actually in their 20's.
Why? Because teenagers don't physically look like that!

Depression:
Highschool Ends. That's the most reassurance I can give you. No matter how **** it seems or who is saying things about you, just know that after graduation, you never have to see any of them again. Only the ones you want to see. Don't let the world get you down - because it gets a lot better, and its not worth making yourself miserable for stuff that you won't even remember in 4 years. If you do remember it, your sentiment will probably be "Geeze, why did I care so much?" In the grand scheme of things, it could always be a lot worse.

Work: If you work hard, you won't just earn money, you'll earn respect. Always do your best, even if its a job that's easily replacable. On the other hand, don't let someone treat you poorly just because they are your manager. If someone is being inappropriate or if you don't feel safe where you work, it is NEVER worth risking it. Talk to a manager, or, if you absolutely have to, switch jobs. If a manager is being hateful or downright mean to you, let another supervisor know. If they refuse to do anything, file a complaint with corporate.

Friends: Always try to be nice to those around you, whether everyone loves them or everyone hates them. Don't burn bridges, because you never know who might be your boss, coworker, roommate, or best friend some day!

Sex: Do NOT let someone pressure you into sex. You will be sorry every day that you didn't do it of your own accord. When you decide that the time is right and that you're truly in love, be safe. Use a condom and/or birth control. If it ever happens and you are not prepared, you can purchase a Plan-B pill over the counter for around $50. Do not bring life into this world that you cannot care for.

Sexuality: There is nothing wrong with wanting to express yourself sexually or to learn new things about sex. Everyone is curious and its perfectly healthy to be so. Do your research and have your questions answered. Its a lot better to ask and find out about sex than to have it sooner than you wanted to "just to see what its like".

dcyouts, you made me laugh out loud!