Wives Improving their Lives Club

Hi everyone,

My name is Rachel.  I'm 5'4 and I've been between 185-190 pounds for a while now.  I've been going crazy trying to figure out why I'm having so much trouble losing the weight this time around.  Then it hit me.  The difference this time is that I'm married and have children!  I never realised what an obstacle that could be.  Fortunately I have a kids that will eat whatever I put in front of them.  That just leaves one factor that is throwing me off this time.  My husband.

So I thought I'm sure there are other ladies out there who are having trouble because of their husbands (I know my mom is too.)  I thought it would be a great idea to have a forum for all of us to support each other, to give each other tips and to vent our frustrations when we need to.

There are three main reasons why my husband is making it hard for me to loose weight (and he doesn't even realise he's doing it, or at least he says he doesn't):

1. He's a picky eater, who grew up in a house where fat was the number 1 food group.

2. As an active young man he needs MUCH more calories than I do and I'm having trouble with adjusting family meals.

3. He sabotages me daily.  This is the hardest thing for me to deal with.  I've tried reassuring his insecurities, but he says that he's not doing it deliberately.  He does the grocery shopping (because I don't drive) and usually it's full of tons of junk and the healthy foods I had on the list are no where to be found.

So that's my big three obstacles I'm going to have to deal with if I'm ever going to fit into my cool clothes again.  Is anyone else out there in the same boat?

Well, I'm stepping out of the "Wives Club" for the time being.  My husband and I are separating.  It's okay and I"ve discussed elsewhere on the site and in my journal.  I think it's kind of funny that I was almost bragging how supportive my husband has been with the diet change and now he's leaving.  He's a great guy we just had some big issues come up. 

Okay so i was reading some of your stories and thought somone had taken mine and wrote it just a tad different. I was married in September and as soon as my feet hit the ground back home after the honeymoon the weight came packing on. My husband has gained weight as well but isn't as freaked out as I am. My jeans I had bought before the wedding became tight so I just wore my fat jeans, which got too tight. I bought jeans the same size as my fat jeans but from a different lable so I wouldn't think I was any bigger. Now I am working like h*** to get back into my cute jeans. I want to loose 15-20lbs before my first anniversary. My biggest problem is my husband grew up on his grandparents ranch so it was all steak and potatoes. He will eat veggies but not like me, I am a vegetarian go figure! I try to make two separate meals but then I am stuck in the kitchen for an hour and a half. He is supportive but tries to tell me I am doing things wrong, he used to be into working out like 5yrs ago. I just need a group of ladies to understand that it sucks to be a newlywed and try to get back the body the stress of wedding planning gives you!

Hi!

I have been absent for a long time I know.  My husband is in Medical School and has been preparing for his Board Exam.  During that time I watched him study and cook for him.  I was okay with working out, but I kept slipping with my eating. 

I lost 10 pounds in July, but it wasn't a true effort.  I cheated a lot.  Now that his eight-hour exam is over, he has several weeks before he is in the hospitals.   Until then I find myself staying up late in the night and snacking when we get munchy for something small.  So I have developed bad habits.

I want to stick to my diet ALL THE TIME.  How do I co-exist with my husband who is VERY close to me, and still live a separate dietary lifestyle.  He and I are best friends and hanging out is something we really enjoy even late into the next morning.

Does anyone have advice?  I am a bit tired and discouraged.  I want more discipline in this weight-loss venture.

Thanks,

Yari

Hi,

I just found this thread. It's very good. I feel similar to those of you who have posted here. My husband is very supportive in so many ways, but I still feel tension about our eating and exercise habits. For example, I have a very hard time getting out of bed in the morning (once I'm up, it's great, I really am a morning person) and he has no trouble getting up. So I asked him to please help me get out of bed when the alarm goes off so that we can go work out. He always agrees, but then doesn't really do it. Sometimes he gets up, shuts the alarm off, and goes to the living room to watch the news or read, leaving me to oversleep! And the whole reason we're trying to get up early is so that we can have time to exercise. I know I should be responsible for myself, but it's so hard when we are so intimately involved with another person.

I really like your post, yari, the one about planning for everything and taking full responsibility. There always seems to be a reason exercise or eating right doesn't work out. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of half-hearted plans that don't get fulfilled.

But it's hard to drink club soda and eat a turkey sandwich with carrots sticks when he's enjoying a beer and hamburger with french fries. Sigh. Let's keep this going. The outside support is good.

I also just found this thread. I got married in July and realized a few months ago that if I continued on the road I traveled that I would become severely overweight. I am usually 110 to 115 pounds, but I was getting close to 130 pounds. This was for many reasons:

1. my husband is a picky eater, so most of our meals consisted of hamburgers and frozen foods.

2. we have a tight budget and so i felt bad buying extra healthy food when we already had bachelor food like hamburgers in the freezer.

3. i wasn't working out and i used to do volleyball half the year and tennis the other half of the year.

4. I never paid attention to the amount of calories were in any food and so i just ate as much as i wanted. Now I know that our hamburger patties were 380 calories alone!

5. My husband keeps junk food in the house at all times. He is the biggest sweet tooth I know and eats it constantly. But he never, ever gains weight.

6. I can't work right now because i'm applying for my permanent residency to live up here in canada, so i'm at home alone all day, 5 days a week. I don't know many people around here. This makes it hard to get out of the house and do something like workout. Because I don't contribute to our bank account, this is another reason why I feel bad spending more on healthy food for myself or on a gym membership.

Because I have a picky husband, I often have difficulty thinking recipes that we can enjoy together. I usually end up cooking separate meals. I'll have tilapia and salad while he enjoys 2 burgers. I really would like to find some healthy recipes that we both like. Unfortunately, he's not big on vegetables (especially if they're cooked in the Asian food fashion, all mixed together). He doesn't like fish, although he doesn't mind salmon. But he likes it best when it's smothered in a brown sugar glaze and i prefer something healthier. He doesn't like the low fat, low cal versions of anything - like sour cream (fortunately, i realized that if i keep plain yogurt around for multiple purposes, that i can use that as a sourcream substitute!). Anyway, I just had to vent as well and join the rest of the ladies who struggle with the weight issues that come with being female.

But now I'm down to 115-116, so i'm almost there. I just need to firm up. I exercise almost every day, although not for long periods of time. I am eating healthier by adding more fruits, veggies, fish, nuts, beans, yogurt, and such to my diet. sometimes i'll just cook something that's "normal" in the evening and eat my own serving size because throughout the day i monitor my calories. When I go out, I look for lower cal entrees. I am determined to make this a lifestyle and not just a weight loss plan for now. Perhaps some day I can convince my husband to adopt a healther lifestyle of working out and eating healther. After all, his great metabolism won't last forever and there are other health risks besides gaining weight. I just don't know how to convince him yet...