What woman could love me? :(

Tell me if I'm good enough to start dating yet.  My Ex (whom I separated with just 4 months ago) has a new man. This is devastating news to me as I was hoping to be with her again. I wanted to marry the girl.

This is really depressing me. I haven't been on a date in years. Ladies, please tell me if I'm good enough to start dating again or if I should drop more weight first.  Look at my profile, pics there. As you can see, I was quite big and am now much smaller, but I wonder if girls will still think I'm too big.

 

Im sorry to hear about your disappointment but you should be ready to date when you feel its right. Although Your ex has moved on...it doent mean that you HAVE to start dating right away, also. My brother is a large man himself weighing over 500lbs-being the weight that he is he managed to find the love of his life whom he is now married to. Just because your overweight doesnt mean you cant find love. I hope the best for you! Stop getting yourself down-youve done an awesome job!! Be proud of yourself!

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, darling, and I think you are super cute!  I am not saying that I do not appreciate a nice body but it's the face you see all the time.  Cheer up, sweetie!!!!  I am sure that love is right around the corner for you.  In the meantime, do good for yourself so you will be physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally ready for the right person when they do come a knockin'!

Samantha

where do you live? I'm available! 

 If a girl is only going by your size, then you don't want to be with her to begin with! 

It looks like you have come a long way.  I think the middle part is the hardest to lose!  (that's my problem too).

When I am looking for someone, looks aren't the only thing.  A guy has to have his brain in the right places! 

Hang in there!

It's all in the personality and how you present yourself. You're not in the best shape yet, but if a women sees you are WORKING on it then that is a huge plus. To answer your original question, I think you do look good enough to start dating. Just clean up the neck beard, hm? =P

I haven't felt this depressed in ages. I'm starting to get a wicked headache too.

I'm sorry to bug you all with this mess, I know it's not even all that on-topic, it's just well...I don't know, I just need to vent somewhere and this window was open.

Surprisingly though, I don't have the slightest inclination to turn to food. In fact, the very idea of eating is making me sick to my stomach as I write this.

Hmm well are you looking to date quality women or just looking to bang hot chicks, as per what you said in another thread? I am keeping tabs on you mister ;)

The difference is, quality people see past a few extra pounds and are interested in the person underneath....granted there has to be some attraction but different people are attracted to different things, and I think you have some good material to work with :)

As for banging hot chicks...well....such a shallow endeavor requires an exterior that appeals to like-minded shallow people...or a lot of charm. That's all I'm gonna say.

alright, A) don't be down on yourself. the most unattractive thing to a woman is a lack of confidence. its sad but true. that's not to say run around with a massive ego, but if you're talking about the negatives of yourself that's all other people will get to see of you.

B) the first poster is absolutely right. there's always someone for somebody! just put yourself out there! join some sort of group or project you wouldn't normally get involved in. building socially will help a lot. get involved in a cancer walk or charity work (chicks dig that, lol, but seriously!) showing people how big hearted you are inside shows them its absolutely worth it in the deal to accept who you are outside.

a lot of corny cliches, but they're true. Whenever someone moves on without you its natural to wonder "what's wrong with me?" but its better to realize it didn't work out FOR A REASON and to wonder a little bit (just a little bit) "hey, I'm awesome. what's wrong with THEM?"

 

edit: p.s. I dated people that were just as decent when I was 20 pounds heavier and has just as good a time as I do now. the physical thing isn't a huge factor

I agree with feanor. If you're fun to be with, funny, vivacious and, yes, WORKING on getting thinner, you're alot more attractive than if you're dull, boring, sad and whatever.

Original Post by victoriagirl:

As for banging hot chicks...well....such a shallow endeavor requires an exterior that appeals to like-minded shallow people...or a lot of charm. That's all I'm gonna say.

Ha ha. I talk a big game, that's about it. I wouldn't the know the first thing...

First of all, dating is all about confidence!  I think you should go out and get a hip new outfit and a new haircut so that you feel like a million!

I did this to get ready for my reunion, and boy what a difference treating yourself can do for confidence and being more outgoing!

Good luck.  The right girl is out there.  Usually right under your nose.  I had a boyfriend and a guy that was a very close friend.  Once the boyfriend was gone... I was like Wow, Chad is really good looking so we started to date.  20 years later we are still married, and have two wonderful little boys.  Your best friend makes a fabulous love of your life!

I would have to agree with the majority of the other posters.  And don't worry so much about whether you are physically ready to start dating.  Focus on whether you are mentally ready.  The rest will just fall into place.

Love comes in all shapes and sizes.  If it is truly a good match, she will like you for who you are....period.

On a side note, your pictures show that you've made some excellent progress during your first couple of months.  There's nothing wrong with working on your love life at the same time you are working on your health as well.

Well, I'm I guy so I wouldn't go out with you, but I don't see anything wrong with the way you look.

You know what I find.....

You always find what you are looking for when you AREN'T even really looking!

You'll be fine.  Everything happens for a reason...sometimes it just takes a bit to see it!

~H~

the most important person you can fall in love with is yourself

concentrate on that and everything will fall into place

Thanks for the kind words everyone. This is, nonetheless, going to be a very tough time for me.

Peace.

Sorry you're having a rough time.  It'll get better, I am sure- you just have to get through this bit.

I think you misunderstand what most women are looking for in a relationship- looks are nice, but a caring, intelligent, funny, loving disposition is indispensible.

And, not to put too fine a point on it, I think the "ASSMAN" plate is way more off-putting than a 250-pound physique.

yes your good enough. now are they good enough for you is the question

Original Post by sfcgijill:

Sorry you're having a rough time. It'll get better, I am sure- you just have to get through this bit.

I think you misunderstand what most women are looking for in a relationship- looks are nice, but a caring, intelligent, funny, loving disposition is indispensible.

And, not to put too fine a point on it, I think the "ASSMAN" plate is way more off-putting than a 250-pound physique.

 Agreed..

My current boyfriend is 350lbs-ish, and I'm very happy.  It's about the way he kisses me on the forehead, knows immediately if I'm upset or hurt, and gets along with my friends; his weight doesn't really matter.

Original Post by sfcgijill:

 

And, not to put too fine a point on it, I think the "ASSMAN" plate is way more off-putting than a 250-pound physique.

ha ha. I have a big ass, that's all. ha ha. Nah actually, it's just a silly TV show reference; It doesn't really mean anything.

Original Post by mortalmonkey:

Original Post by sfcgijill:

 

And, not to put too fine a point on it, I think the "ASSMAN" plate is way more off-putting than a 250-pound physique.

ha ha. I have a big ass, that's all. ha ha. Nah actually, it's just a silly TV show reference; It doesn't really mean anything.

I love the Assman plates, but I love Cramer too.  I knew exactly what you were referencing. 

I'm sorry your feeling so down lately.  I'm sure your ex moving on is the root of this and really there's probably no way around these feelings at least for a bit.  You just need to work through them.  I agree with everyone else, don't worry so much if your ready physically (because, yes I'm married, but I still have eyes and your super hot to me - course, I love your humor).  If you jump into the dating too soon, it'll become more about making yourself feel good the wrong ways.  I know I know, it's really okay for guys to be sluts in our society, but is that really what your looking for?  It doesn't really sound like it...  Believe me, banging hot chicks might make me feel good for one night or two, but with my husband of 13 years the bang is a lot better and lasts a lot longer !  Ah Goddess, I can't believe I just typed that LOL!!!