I haven't really experienced traumatic events in my past that causes me to overeat. I think to some extent everyone has something (more or less) they carry around which still affects them in some way. So on those occasions when I ransack the kitchen for food and throw absolutely anything in my mouth, I usually don't associate it to emotional eating. I think it has more to do with mental-complacency and being in 'off' mode- when I'm not processing what I'm eating or conscientiously thinking about it. But it's true- how we feel about ourselves is reflected in what we eat. I guess, overall, I would love to have control over my feelings boredom, disappointment, and carelessness.

Right now I have a love-hate relationship with food. If I learned to manage my feelings without food, then food would just be a stable, everyday, positive thing. It wouldn't glow in my mind; nor would it be grotesque at times. It would just be food and would taste good. 

I don't think that I have an emotional need to fulfill when I eat, but my binging is nearly always product of boredom and thirst. I have regained control over my main meals by consciously eating better and watching my portions, but I have an absolute addiction to chocolate that I find hard to ignore. As well as that, if I am static for too long I find myself thinking about food and if I have any food stashed somewhere in the house that I can munch on. In most of these circumstances, I tend to either get up and do something like tidy or go for a walk to avoid thinking about it, or I drink a huge glass of water. But the issue I have time and time again is that I just absolutely love chocolate. I savor every last bit, and it makes no difference to me if I eat one small bar or one large bar, I literally just consume whatever is available. Nothing I do seems to break the habit and without fulfilling the craving I can sometimes get quite snappy. I would love to think that my addiction is emotional, but some how, I just think I eat it because I can. 

I definitely know there's a connection. I had an abusive childhood (alcoholic father who was extremely emotionally abusive, even after he stopped drinking). I have a very tenuous relationship with my family because of it, because going home just brings back so many bad memories, even though my father has been dead for 20 years. I've always had a problem with compulsive eating, and in times of stress it really gets to be a problem. My self-esteem was very low when I was younger, though I have been able to raise it. I will definitely check out one  of her books, as it sounds it may be helpful to me. 

This woman - Geneen Roth - scares me. Fortunatelly, the first time I've heard of her was on Oprah gushing over her. I focused on observing Geneen who botox-faced and face-lifted shadowed overenthusiastic Oprah selling her basically crap. From the marketing perspective, if one puts women, food or God in the title, the book will be read in millions of copies. And what is the point - be yourself, trust yourself. So why botox then, why facelift? And who are those people who find this woman enouraging.

For me, the simple answer is that I get lazy to do my exercise and 'make it up' with cakes and junk food. Simple. Remove that and you removed the problem, thank you very much.

Sorry, I can't take anything associated with Oprah seriously...

If you believed you could manage any feeling you experienced, how would that change your relationship with food?

i have many PTSD symptoms due to childhood and domestic abuse...if i could MANAGE this craziness, OOOOH how happy i would be...i would no longer need to control food at any cost. i would no longer punish myself when i feel worthless, because i would be able to move past that...i would not need to perform "penance" haha...don't ask...i would stop panicking before mealtimes...i would be able to cope with the memories and lingering emotions, i would not need to be running on empty in order to improve my mood (this probably makes no sense to normal folks :/ my "emotional eating" strikes in the form of anorexia)...i would know that i control my own destiny, and i can do a good job at it, too! i would feel as though i'm good at making choices in all of my life. i wouldn't be such a damn perfectionist like my father haha.

i could move on.

(don't worry too much, i'm in therapy...)

I agree totally, anything associated with Oprah is very flaky.  Oprah keeps grasping at straws trying to deal with her weight issues.  She thinks the answer will come to her like manna from heaven.  Get real, Oprah, do your personal work, deal with your thyroid problem the right way, stop taking the audience down your same delusional path and you will see results.  The secret is and has always been that we eat too much and don't exercise enough.  Garbage in, garbage out.  The credits (exercise) have to be bigger than the debits (food) in this case for the formula to work!

I finished reading the book two days ago and feel I've learned a little on how to get in touch with my feelings that are driving me to compulsively overeat.  I came from a harsh history of emotional abuse from family, ex-partners, and an ex-boss.  I had "violate my boundaries" written across my forehead in neon because of what was instilled from when I was very young.  My self worth was at stake and to a limited extent still is.  Becoming aware, understanding my feelings, and repeating "what would love say" is really helpful. 

In Diane Petrella's statement: (I found “Women, Food and God” to be somewhat rambling, repetitive and not really offering new information on emotional eating.  And, as a spiritually oriented psychotherapist, I was eagerly waiting for God to appear. Maybe it’s me, but God didn’t show up in the way I was expecting.)  I too felt as though is was a bit rambling bordering on incoherency at points and as a spiritual person felt that God really didn't have a central role in this book as He should.  I felt since God was on the cover that He would be in more of the content of the book -guessed wrong, at the same time this book blazed with undertones of spirituality naming -If love could speak.

I like that there are eating guidelines -not rules, and that there is a process for inquiry to really get in touch with your feelings.

I greatly appreciate what Diane Petrella was referring to as honoring and learning from your emotions (since I'm an abuse survivor to):

"Past traumatic experiences can linger for decades through feelings so strong that my clients are quite sure that the past is falling in on them today. But those past experiences are just feelings now."

Since reading Diane's review I'm interested in Geneen Roth's other books to get a better understanding of compulsive eating.

Thank you Diane for your review!

One day I will write a book on this concept and the title Woman, food and God will be a much more literal concept.  From what I can see, God really wasn't present in her concept.  I haven't read the whole book, so I could be wrong.  But being a woman who has battled and is still overcome this issue, I can say that without my faith, I could not have lost the 70lbs that I have.  I have gone through no treatment, no medications, no therapy.  It is just the Lord and I working through a tremendously difficult past and walking into what I am sure will be a difficult future.  My Father in Heaven loves me!  That is all I need to be certain of.  The rest is all uncertain!  Through prayer I have learned that dependancy on food to sooth my emotions is really a lie.  Listen to the body your creator gave you.  Rule #1: That doughnut is  not as soothing as you might think.  It raises your sugar levels to degrees your body will reject.  Leaving you to want to correct yet another bad feeling.  So although the doughnut tastes good, and provides temporary oral gradification.  What it does to you physically, and the guilt it causes, moves you towards a feeling of need to fix the unbalanced emotions and sugar levels.  I have learned that if there is a need to feed!  I give my body real food that really feeds it. 

I also think Geneen's new book is just more of the old books. But, her books are good books. Yes, it's true that you have to consume less than you burn to lose weight. However, whatever keeps you from doing that is still emotional because it's in your head.

It never hurts to explore why you're bored and why you don't get up and do something about the boredom instead of eating. If nothing in life interests you, yet you eat mindlessly, maybe you're depressed due to a chemical imbalance. At any rate, you may touch on something that you just don't want to think about. That unspoken thing could be the key.

Yes, the title of the book was sensational and God was hard to find. However, don't throw the baby out with the bathwater.

I am an insomniac, and my conpulsive eating is related to that, the more tired and exhausted I am, the more I want to eat.  I don't beleive that my overeating is emotional.  I've never heard of this woman, but I don't think I'll be reading any of her books.  If someone can tell me how to sleep short of taking drugs, I'm all ears.

I didn't see Oprah or read the book.  Sometimes being overweight is emotional.   A 279;So᥿ 9;metimes 5279; it is just behavi᥿ 9;oral.  Hopef ;ully, you can lose weight᥿ 9; by just sticki᥿ 9;ng to the basics᥿ 9; of bur& #65279;n more calori᥿ 9;es than you consum᥿ 9;e. A 279; A 279; A 279; A 279; A 279; A 279; A 279; Ev&# 65279;eryone doesn'᥿ 9;t always᥿ 9; need to read a lot more into the proble᥿ 9;m. &# 65279;᥿ 9;&# 65279; 

I just finished reading the book last night based on Oprah's recommendation.  It was not as ground breaking as Oprah made it out to be but I did see myself in the book a little bit.  I had a few insights about myself but nothing major.  Even before seeing Geneen on the show and reading the book I have already been asking myself, "What do I need?"  Sometimes I am just tired or thirsty and I need to slow down and take a few minutes of rest for myself to refocus. 

The cult of Oprah.  I cannot take anything that she promotes, seriously.  But had I come across this without the Oprah connection, I would not read this book because I find the title off-putting. 

My feeling is that any time we cede our personal responsibility to someone or something else, we are focusing on our weakness rather than building our strength.  But that's my philosophy of life. 

Original Post by: despinamb

The cult of Oprah.  I cannot take anything that she promotes, seriously.  But had I come across this without the Oprah connection, I would not read this book because I find the title off-putting. 

My feeling is that any time we cede our personal responsibility to someone or something else, we are focusing on our weakness rather than building our strength.  But that's my philosophy of life. 

Agreed, especially the second paragraph.  Obesity is becoming a huge problem, and people refuse to hold themselves responsible. Instead they blame genes, stress, hormones, thyroid, and now emotional trauma? Please...  People need to accept that their actions and lifestyle have a direct effect on their health, and make a change. You are the only one responsible for your weight.

Original Post by: chiibug

Original Post by: despinamb

The cult of Oprah.  I cannot take anything that she promotes, seriously.  But had I come across this without the Oprah connection, I would not read this book because I find the title off-putting. 

My feeling is that any time we cede our personal responsibility to someone or something else, we are focusing on our weakness rather than building our strength.  But that's my philosophy of life. 

Agreed, especially the second paragraph.  Obesity is becoming a huge problem, and people refuse to hold themselves responsible. Instead they blame genes, stress, hormones, thyroid, and now emotional trauma? Please...  People need to accept that their actions and lifestyle have a direct effect on their health, and make a change. You are the only one responsible for your weight.

I agree with you, chiibug, that many people do not take responsibility for the circumstances they create in their lives.

But childhood trauma, be that physical, sexual or psychological, has long term emotional effects. I've worked with many courageous women and men who experienced trauma in their childhoods. They have learned to recognize the underlying motivations behind their behavior, specifically related to food and weight. Some of those underlying motivations are strong emotions that fuel addictive behaviors. There is a difference between making an excuse for one's weight versus understanding there is an explanation for behaviors contributing to compulsive eating or other food obsessions. Of course, then ultimately, it's up to each person to take responsibility for creating their lives.

Warmly,
Diane

I have not gone through a major childhood trauma, but I did grow up in an alcoholic family.  My parents were not abusive but they definitely focused on their own stories and so I grew up feeling alone.  Food is comfort to me, period.  When I am stressed, sad, angry, lonely, etc, nothing makes me feel better than making, sharing, or both, some favorite food.  I am trying to learn to comfort myself in other ways than with food, but when my aunt died several months back I cooked or baked almost every day, and even made her fabulous homemade caramel corn recipe to take to the funeral!! 

Well, I've read through a majority of your comments and I'm almost finished reading the book.  I, like some of you, haven't had any childhood traumatic situation that has stemmed into what is now a daily struggle to be smaller than what I am.  The ONLY thing I can believe to be an associate would be that I am a twin and have been compared to her my entire life.  Has the comparison (or lack there of) impacted my weight?  Possibly, but I know I need take responsibility for my laziness too.  I also believe that I just plain like the taste of some foods and chalk it up to that.

I have gotten some things out of it though which has been helpful to reflect on.  As far as the 'God' part not being mentioned, my assumption based on reading the author's biography is that she doesn't believe in a Higher Power.  From what I gathered, I never expected God to be present in the book because (I think) she expects us to be our own God.  Too bad on her part.  Opportunity missed! 

Personally, I disagree with that and believe that 'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me' (Phil 4:13) and it is mind over matter.  I have to take all of this day-by-day just like everything else I do in life.  How I treat others, respect myself, love one another, etc.

Is it easy?  No, but I don't think God calls us to be comfortable anyway.  Thanks for sharing your thoughts folks.  Been a pleasure.

Original Post by: diane_petrella

Original Post by: chiibug

Original Post by: despinamb

The cult of Oprah.  I cannot take anything that she promotes, seriously.  But had I come across this without the Oprah connection, I would not read this book because I find the title off-putting. 

My feeling is that any time we cede our personal responsibility to someone or something else, we are focusing on our weakness rather than building our strength.  But that's my philosophy of life. 

Agreed, especially the second paragraph.  Obesity is becoming a huge problem, and people refuse to hold themselves responsible. Instead they blame genes, stress, hormones, thyroid, and now emotional trauma? Please...  People need to accept that their actions and lifestyle have a direct effect on their health, and make a change. You are the only one responsible for your weight.

I agree with you, chiibug, that many people do not take responsibility for the circumstances they create in their lives.

But childhood trauma, be that physical, sexual or psychological, has long term emotional effects. I've worked with many courageous women and men who experienced trauma in their childhoods. They have learned to recognize the underlying motivations behind their behavior, specifically related to food and weight. Some of those underlying motivations are strong emotions that fuel addictive behaviors. There is a difference between making an excuse for one's weight versus understanding there is an explanation for behaviors contributing to compulsive eating or other food obsessions. Of course, then ultimately, it's up to each person to take responsibility for creating their lives.

Warmly,
Diane

Still sounds like just another crutch to me, sorry. Most people have enough as it is.

Original Post by: chiibug

Original Post by: diane_petrella

Original Post by: chiibug

Original Post by: despinamb

The cult of Oprah.  I cannot take anything that she promotes, seriously.  But had I come across this without the Oprah connection, I would not read this book because I find the title off-putting. 

My feeling is that any time we cede our personal responsibility to someone or something else, we are focusing on our weakness rather than building our strength.  But that's my philosophy of life. 

Agreed, especially the second paragraph.  Obesity is becoming a huge problem, and people refuse to hold themselves responsible. Instead they blame genes, stress, hormones, thyroid, and now emotional trauma? Please...  People need to accept that their actions and lifestyle have a direct effect on their health, and make a change. You are the only one responsible for your weight.

I agree with you, chiibug, that many people do not take responsibility for the circumstances they create in their lives.

But childhood trauma, be that physical, sexual or psychological, has long term emotional effects. I've worked with many courageous women and men who experienced trauma in their childhoods. They have learned to recognize the underlying motivations behind their behavior, specifically related to food and weight. Some of those underlying motivations are strong emotions that fuel addictive behaviors. There is a difference between making an excuse for one's weight versus understanding there is an explanation for behaviors contributing to compulsive eating or other food obsessions. Of course, then ultimately, it's up to each person to take responsibility for creating their lives.

Warmly,
Diane

Still sounds like just another crutch to me, sorry. Most people have enough as it is.

Again, marketing ploy, trust me, I am a marketing professional. If it is true that trauma is the direct cause of our 'emotional' overeating, the previous generations would be just big fat balls. Since we know this is not the case, my take is that as some comments stated we tend to have very narcissistic approach and load it down on someone else. I see that a therapist lingers around here, and while I understand her job (i have a phd in psychology) I cannot do this profession as I see many as just weaklings needing petting and encouraging. And it will not be until a day - they decide, or I decide to change that change will happen. In fact, blame on someone else or scavanging your brain for bad experienced that 'might have contributed' to you stuffing yourself will only create depression and issues in life.

I challenge you to think positive for one week. One week - and you will never need a therapist or a dietician.

As far as the book - please - GOD - what the heck she know about him/her? Again, that is a chick who is so insecure, so unconvincing and poing being that you are just not guilty for your results. really????

Original Post by: chiibug

Original Post by: diane_petrella

Original Post by: chiibug

Original Post by: despinamb

The cult of Oprah.  I cannot take anything that she promotes, seriously.  But had I come across this without the Oprah connection, I would not read this book because I find the title off-putting. 

My feeling is that any time we cede our personal responsibility to someone or something else, we are focusing on our weakness rather than building our strength.  But that's my philosophy of life. 

Agreed, especially the second paragraph.  Obesity is becoming a huge problem, and people refuse to hold themselves responsible. Instead they blame genes, stress, hormones, thyroid, and now emotional trauma? Please...  People need to accept that their actions and lifestyle have a direct effect on their health, and make a change. You are the only one responsible for your weight.

I agree with you, chiibug, that many people do not take responsibility for the circumstances they create in their lives.

But childhood trauma, be that physical, sexual or psychological, has long term emotional effects. I've worked with many courageous women and men who experienced trauma in their childhoods. They have learned to recognize the underlying motivations behind their behavior, specifically related to food and weight. Some of those underlying motivations are strong emotions that fuel addictive behaviors. There is a difference between making an excuse for one's weight versus understanding there is an explanation for behaviors contributing to compulsive eating or other food obsessions. Of course, then ultimately, it's up to each person to take responsibility for creating their lives.

Warmly,
Diane

Still sounds like just another crutch to me, sorry. Most people have enough as it is.

I'm guessing you didn't have a traumatic childhood? While I am no fan of Oprah, it is just a fact that people who have traumatic childhoods struggle with emotional problems that can manifest in many ways including eating disorders that it can take years for them realize the cause of and how to deal with. There's a reason it's called compulsive eating--- it's a compulsion that is very difficult to control.

It's not a crutch if you recognize that and work toward solutions. I think you're being very dismissive of the pain and anguish that people with these problems go through.

As I said in my earlier post I had a very abusive childhood with a father who basically made me feel I was worthless. If you've never tried to overcome that kind of thing, you have no idea how difficult it is. It's like you just can't tell someone who is clinically depressed to just cheer up, and be optimistic.

Original Post by: jolieblonde22

Original Post by: chiibug

Original Post by: diane_petrella

Original Post by: chiibug

Original Post by: despinamb

The cult of Oprah.  I cannot take anything that she promotes, seriously.  But had I come across this without the Oprah connection, I would not read this book because I find the title off-putting. 

My feeling is that any time we cede our personal responsibility to someone or something else, we are focusing on our weakness rather than building our strength.  But that's my philosophy of life. 

Agreed, especially the second paragraph.  Obesity is becoming a huge problem, and people refuse to hold themselves responsible. Instead they blame genes, stress, hormones, thyroid, and now emotional trauma? Please...  People need to accept that their actions and lifestyle have a direct effect on their health, and make a change. You are the only one responsible for your weight.

I agree with you, chiibug, that many people do not take responsibility for the circumstances they create in their lives.

But childhood trauma, be that physical, sexual or psychological, has long term emotional effects. I've worked with many courageous women and men who experienced trauma in their childhoods. They have learned to recognize the underlying motivations behind their behavior, specifically related to food and weight. Some of those underlying motivations are strong emotions that fuel addictive behaviors. There is a difference between making an excuse for one's weight versus understanding there is an explanation for behaviors contributing to compulsive eating or other food obsessions. Of course, then ultimately, it's up to each person to take responsibility for creating their lives.

Warmly,
Diane

Still sounds like just another crutch to me, sorry. Most people have enough as it is.

I'm guessing you didn't have a traumatic childhood? While I am no fan of Oprah, it is just a fact that people who have traumatic childhoods struggle with emotional problems that can manifest in many ways including eating disorders that it can take years for them realize the cause of and how to deal with. There's a reason it's called compulsive eating--- it's a compulsion that is very difficult to control.

It's not a crutch if you recognize that and work toward solutions. I think you're being very dismissive of the pain and anguish that people with these problems go through.

As I said in my earlier post I had a very abusive childhood with a father who basically made me feel I was worthless. If you've never tried to overcome that kind of thing, you have no idea how difficult it is. It's like you just can't tell someone who is clinically depressed to just cheer up, and be optimistic.

Actually, yeah I did. I have two addict brothers. Why are they addicts? They use the abuse we suffered as ... guess... a crutch.  I don't.  I don't blame my parents for everything wrong in my life.

Original Post by: chiibug

Original Post by: jolieblonde22

Original Post by: chiibug

Original Post by: diane_petrella

Original Post by: chiibug

Original Post by: despinamb

The cult of Oprah.  I cannot take anything that she promotes, seriously.  But had I come across this without the Oprah connection, I would not read this book because I find the title off-putting. 

My feeling is that any time we cede our personal responsibility to someone or something else, we are focusing on our weakness rather than building our strength.  But that's my philosophy of life. 

Agreed, especially the second paragraph.  Obesity is becoming a huge problem, and people refuse to hold themselves responsible. Instead they blame genes, stress, hormones, thyroid, and now emotional trauma? Please...  People need to accept that their actions and lifestyle have a direct effect on their health, and make a change. You are the only one responsible for your weight.

I agree with you, chiibug, that many people do not take responsibility for the circumstances they create in their lives.

But childhood trauma, be that physical, sexual or psychological, has long term emotional effects. I've worked with many courageous women and men who experienced trauma in their childhoods. They have learned to recognize the underlying motivations behind their behavior, specifically related to food and weight. Some of those underlying motivations are strong emotions that fuel addictive behaviors. There is a difference between making an excuse for one's weight versus understanding there is an explanation for behaviors contributing to compulsive eating or other food obsessions. Of course, then ultimately, it's up to each person to take responsibility for creating their lives.

Warmly,
Diane

Still sounds like just another crutch to me, sorry. Most people have enough as it is.

I'm guessing you didn't have a traumatic childhood? While I am no fan of Oprah, it is just a fact that people who have traumatic childhoods struggle with emotional problems that can manifest in many ways including eating disorders that it can take years for them realize the cause of and how to deal with. There's a reason it's called compulsive eating--- it's a compulsion that is very difficult to control.

It's not a crutch if you recognize that and work toward solutions. I think you're being very dismissive of the pain and anguish that people with these problems go through.

As I said in my earlier post I had a very abusive childhood with a father who basically made me feel I was worthless. If you've never tried to overcome that kind of thing, you have no idea how difficult it is. It's like you just can't tell someone who is clinically depressed to just cheer up, and be optimistic.

Actually, yeah I did. I have two addict brothers. Why are they addicts? They use the abuse we suffered as ... guess... a crutch.  I don't.  I don't blame my parents for everything wrong in my life.

Chiibug -

I do agree with you about certain things. I think it is important that we do not make excuses and take responsibility for ourselves. However, I don't think the point is that every single compulsive eater had a traumatic childhood. As you've said, some may just make poor lifestyle changes because they don't want to do what seems 'hard' to them. It's very important to not use blame as a crutch.

On the other hand, I don't think you are giving much room for the people who are actually sad. Eating disorders are a sign of depression. It's a bit harsh to say that those people just blame everyone else instead of dealing with the problem. I think it's courageous for those people to be reading different books so they can learn how to treat what's killing them.

You said 'Most people have enough as it is'. We live in the richest country in the world, but there are still depressed people. I grew up in a very well to do family, but my brother, my mom, and I all had to go to counseling to figure out why we were so sad. My stepmother grew up in one of the richest families I know, and she's had to battle anorexia for sixteen years.

I'm not exactly arguing for this woman's book, though. If what everyone's said is true, then it sounds like one big effort to get money and fame.

So many people included positive and inspirational information in their posts and yet as I read through these comments and found myself shaking my head several times at the shortsightedness of some.  All of us who struggle with weight have different histories, circumstances, and reasons for our obesity or eating disorders.  I certainly don't mean to make anyone feel bad, but so often times people read things and take them as gospel.  I'd hate to see people take any bad advice lightly given and not pursue something that may hold an anwer for them.

First of all, for those of you who said anything that Oprah promotes is not something to take seriously is being just plain bitter and illogical.  I'm not really a fan of Oprah and I do not watch her show, however, I do know that she promotes all sorts of important issues and ideas.  She promotes awareness of symptoms of stroke for example, she promotes making healthy food choices, she promotes programs for assisting children and women on all sorts of levels. A person can not legitimately make a blanket statment that anything Oprah promotes should not be taken seriously.  If you disagree with something in particular that Oprah has done, fine, but be cautious with those blanket statements and opinions. 

Secondly, though I have not read Geneen Roth's latest book I have read some others and I found her work to be insightful and definitley a different way to approach an old problem that many struggle with.  If her ideas help some people then she is doing great work!  The fact that she may or may not have used Botox or had a facelift is not germain to the ideas that she presents in her books.  You try going on national television looking old and haggard and see how many people take you seriously - it's a sad fact all that our country is full of judgemental people when it comes to appearance.  Just ask any obese person, mildly or significatly obese if they are taken as seriously heavy as they were when they were thin for example. 

As far as emotional eating is concerned.  I am an emotional eater.  This stemed from childhood trauma and a disfunctional family where emotions and problems had to be kept hidden for survival.  This is a very common problem and I think much more wide-spread than people know.  I'll bet a lot of you out there do not think you are emotional eaters, but if you find yourself 50 or more pounds overweight I'm willing to guess that you may have an emtional eating disorder on some level and you just don't realize it.   

The people who pointed out that saying you have an emotional eating problem and that you just need to stop making excuses and take responsiblity are also correct, at least to some degree.  Only you can take steps to correct the problems that caused the emotional eating to begin with but first you have to know how to do this.  Having sources like Geneen Roth's books can actually open up some eyes for people with these issues and give them a chance to understand that perhaps they aren't just "fat and lazy" and then they can begin to understand how they got this way.  You can't fix something if you don't have the know how to fix it. 

We are all just working to improve ourselves or we wouldn't be this website. I would recommend Geneen's book When Food is Love as well as the guide to stop compulsive eating to anyone who suspects they may have an emotional eating problem.  There is no quick fix here, but it can certainly help you to begin to understand and correct those bad habits we emotional eaters have developed. 

Maybe if people had a greater sense of accountability, there would be less depression. It's empowering to know that only you can change how you feel.

You are so right about that, I couldn't agree more. Many people aren't at a point that  they can do this for themselves, not until they resolve some issues and understandy why they haven't been accountable to themselves and why they can't stick to a program of healthy intake and exercise. Understanding yourself and how you have related to others and food in the past is a main theme in Geneen's books and she says this is the key in getting to the point where you know what you really want and are accountable to your true self and your needs.  

A friend introduced me to Geneen Roth through "Women, Food, and God" while I was reading Thich Nhat Hanh's book "Savor: Mindful Eating, Mindful Life" and I found Roth's ideas equally enlightening.  She does explain that by "God" she means something more akin to spirituality than religion.  The methods that I used to survive my childhood included alcohol and substance abuse; when I gave those up, my focus shifted to food.  Up to the age of 32, when I finally got clean and sober, I'd always imagined I had a happy childhood because I was completely disconnected from my body and mind. After a year and a half of sobriety, disturbing memories began to surface and I thought I had lost my mind because the truth was simply too terrifying to face.  I have a pretty clear understanding of what happened in my childhood now but there are still so many ways in which I am unaware when I still use my childish ways of coping in my adult present.  I just started Roth's "When Food is Love" and the way she tells her own story is very helpful to me to begin to see how I'm still using some of my childhood survival methods.  I've had plenty of therapy, individual and group, through the years and there seem to be successive layers.  I work on whatever is presenting at the time. What I have really learned is that I will probably always be in the process of learning to be who I am now. And that isn't a bad thing.

Original Post by: chiibug

Maybe if people had a greater sense of accountability, there would be less depression. It's empowering to know that only you can change how you feel.

Did you know that depression is an actual physical (not pyschological) illness?    Saying 'just be accountable and your depression will go away' is the same as saying 'just be accountable and your strep throat will go way'.  I have overcome depression, and I'm proud to admit that I asked for help. I had to follow through with the help that was offered, it's not magic.   I fully believe in personal responsibility.  It's IRRESPONSIBLE to know that there is assistance avaiable, and to ignore it.

If you suffer about your relationship with food -- you eat too much or too little, think about what you will eat constantly or try not to think about it at all -- you can be free. Just look down at your plate. The answers are there. Don't run. Look. Because when we welcome what we most want to avoid, we contact the part of ourselves that is fresh and alive. We touch the life we truly want and evoke divinity itself.

Since adolescence, Geneen Roth has gained and lost more than a thousand pounds. She has been dangerously overweight and dangerously underweight. She has been plagued by feelings of shame and self-hatred and she has felt euphoric after losing a quick few pounds on a fad diet. Then one day, on the verge of suicide, she did something radical: She dropped the struggle, ended the war, stopped trying to fix, deprive and shame herself. She began trusting her body and questioning her beliefs.

It worked. And losing weight was only the beginning.

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