Women does this happen to you? Stalking and Physical Characteristics

I have alway had large breasts.  (I was born with them it seems) When I am thin I have a very nice hourglass shape with those big boobs on top and this seems to attract weirdos!  Strange men are always approaching me.  They come up and ask me for my # or dates. ( My wedding ring is prominantly displayed on the correct finger ) They holler at me from moving cars, blow kisses at me from street corners.  Some of them come up and just start talking to me like I know them.  They make rude, lewd, derogatory comments.

It is very disconcerting to be accosted like this.  It is a shame that my barometer for weight loss is the "weirdo meter". 

I read an article one time about people being weirdo magnets.  Maybe I am one of them?! 

So, does this happen to any of you?  I guess I should add that this has been going on since I was a teen.  In my 20's I had some freak that would call my job tell me what I had on and threaten to kill me or harm me in other ways.  He would call and tell me where I had been walking that day, told me what kind of car my date was driving one night, etc... I quit my job and moved from Louisville, Ky to Nashville, TN to get away from him.  Never knew who it was and the move stopped the harrassment. 

O_____O

Oh dear.
I have always had boobs that were disproportionate on me D:
I've been overweight almost always but unlike most females who have always been overweight, I never got my big boobs ;_;
But um...I guess I should be thankful?

That's really creepy.
I guess just be assertive and tell them to bugger off? xD

i'm not very top-heavy, i'm pretty proportionate [especially now that this gut is starting to shrink! haha].  i don't even look like a stereotypical "hottie" but i still get unwanted attention from males who think they are entitled to objectify women and make them uncomfortable.  it would probably be even worse if i had a larger chest.

unfortunately, many men out there are just plain pigs.   i'm no man-hating "feminazi", but it is alarming to me how many disrespectful creeps are lurking around!

I understand how you feel.. although I haven't gotten too many wierdos stalking me (sorry to hear, that's pretty unsettling) I do get all kinds of comments when I ride my bicycle. Every day I get a minimum of 3 noises, kisses, or whistles on my way home. Last night a middle aged man felt the need to whistle when he passed me then again at a red light when I passed him... It's like they think I ride my bike for their enjoyment. It's not even like I'm dressed provacitively (sp??) I wear a tank top and capris... when it's 90*+ out I wear shorty shorts but c'mon... IT'S 90*!! I don't know why wierdos think it's necessary to voice their unwanted opnion, but I know I don't appreciate it...

I'm glad you got away from that uber creep though.. I would have done the same thing. did you call the cops?

Ugh I know how you feel, though i've never been stalked (not that I know of anyway!) and i'm not the stereotypical hottie either (LOL atleast I don't think so!)...but I am a 5'1'' 17 yr old girl with 34C/Ds. I go to highschool with PIGS!!!!! I don't get alot of male attention because I'm so self conscious that I always have on a jacket or something, but when it's really hot or the AC in the school is busted, I get really lewd comments.

Also when I was in the 8th grade (about 13 or 14) I was walking home at night in a skirt and babydoll tee (I was only down the street from my house) and this car of teenage boys with their windows down were wooting and hollering at me shouting HEY SEXY!!!. I had the same sized chest then too and I was alot slimmer than I am now. I probably looked like a pornstar to them. That same year I was walking down the halls of my junior high to deliver papers to other teachers since I was a counselor's aid, and this boy I passed in the hall said "Hey babyy". Trust me, none of this flattered me. I was freaked OUT.

At restaraunts or other public places if I catch a male (ahem...older males -- remember, i'm 17 --) staring, then I just cross my arms and glare at then for a second before turning.

I totally get what you mean.  I'm 5'4 and 137lbs (my stomach is almost the only area a little bigger than it should be) and 36D.  I often feel really self-conscious!  Sometimes when I'm buying shirts I ask my friends if they feel like it brings extra attention my boobs.....as if finding tops that fit wasn't hard enough!  Just last week I was running to cross the street at a yellow light an this guy rolled down his window and said "Hey baby, nice tities!" UGH. I was SO disgusted and embarrassed the rest of the day. I've never had such a graphic comment yelled at me.  Now I DEFINITELY don't want to run in front of people.

A very cool, extremely attractive girlfriend of mine would pick her nose when a creepy/slavering/horny guy would stare at her/try to pick her up.  Worked like a charm.

i don't have big boobs, but i've always had a rather shapelt rump... no matter how thin or heavy i have been it's always been prominent (it's actually why my parents nicnmaed me peanut) and i only attract weirdos (except my bf who is wonderful, but we were friends for like 3 years before we started dating). In a clubn, walking down the street, in the mall i always get the weirdos catcalls, stares comments... and i always think of the perfect thing to say after i  scurry past them ... never when it would just shut them up.

also wanted to throw in here that I answer the door at work and for some reason 75% of the guys standing there assume that my chest does the talking... it is SO obvious when I'm trying to talk and they are blatently staring at my chest... jeez... have some manners...

"Whatcha gonna do with all that a**
All that a** inside them jeans?

I'ma gunna make make make make you scream
Make you scream make you scream

Cause of my humps my hump my hump my hump
My hump my hump my hump my lovely lady lumps

Check it out!"

I honestly don't know where guys get these ideas? :P *is kidding*

You can't control what other people think about your body. Those guys, they mean no harm to you, in fact they are giving you a compliment. Sure, it's unwanted, but if they didn't think that that sort of behaviour works, they wouldn't do it :P

It has to work occasionally eh? That's where the blame lies, IMHO, in the ladies that find that behaviour acceptable enough to reward it.

Guys don't seriously think "Maybe if I act like a creepo she'll go out with me." Rather "This worked for me last time..." or "This is how my buddy got his girl."

I also blame Romantic Comedies.

Think of anything that anyone has done in a romantic comedy to get the girl, I guarentee it is creepy as hell, and is bordering on stalker behaviour.

I can't imagine that these tactics could actually "work" for them, or that they *actually* figure that the woman will respond with "Oh, you like these? Wanna touch them?". I always figured it was just another attempt to intimidate women and keep them off balance, so that we feel scared and needful of a man's protection. And then we might put up with things we shouldn't, in order to get that protection in the context of a relationship. (Certainly this behaviour has been happening since long before the Black Eyed Peas made me ashamed of being a woman.)

Or maybe they just like the power rush and/or feeling of "machoness" that comes from making us a little bit scared.

(Or maybe I'm a conspiracy theorist/"man-hating feminazi".)  ;)


p.s. funny article on the "romantic-comedy/stalking" connection: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29546

Im not a hottie by any means but  get the weirdos too, I always have doesnt matter where I go I get some strange guy hitting on me or even women sometimes blah.........I just must look approachable or something maybe thts your problem maybe they think you look like someone they could talk to and not get there face slapped lol

Actually I just found a really good article on street harassment here: http://www.tolerance.org/news/article_hate.js p?id=541

And an art exhibit I wish I had gone to here:
http://www.tolerance.org/news/article_hate.js p?id=540

I agree with trustwomen.  I think these men probably have low self-esteem or other issues.  They are attracted to these women but know that the women would never have anything to do with them, so they'll make themselves feel better by trying to make the women feel worse. 

I had a stalker for a year who used to hang arounf my huse and try the doors late at night. It's scary!

I think all women attract weirdo's to be honest...i've had as much strange attention when i've been chubbier as when i've been more slim!

=)

"Or maybe they just like the power rush and/or feeling of "machoness" that comes from making us a little bit scared. "

Bingo! ding...ding...ding...

We have a winner.

I was 'born with a bustline' (as my mom says) too. I *always* got unwanted attention from guys...even adult males...starting in about 4th or 5th grade (I was tall and I suppose they could have thought I was older). Starting at that same time, the guys in my class constantly made a HUGE deal about how wide my bra bands and bra straps were...making jokes and trying to snap them. Honestly, I basically lived with constant sexual harrassment. It was NOT fun or flattering. It was Frightening. It's bad enough when you're an adult but as a child you have no emotional or social tools to handle this type of thing.

A college guy made a *major* pass at me when I was 13 and was absolutely, completely *horrified* when I told him how old I was. Even worse, a classmate's brother (who obviously knew how old I was) who was in his 20's tried to get physical with me when I was about 12. That was about the most terrifying and upsetting experience of my life for several years.

I *never* dressed provocatively or even wore makeup...I didn't Want the attention, it scared me. I was overweight (but not obese) when this all happened, too. I was definitely Not a "hottie"...I just had very large breasts.

I've always wondered if one of the reasons I wasn't motivated to lose weight when I was younger (I'm 44) was the fear that it would get worse. According to what I've read, it's not particularly uncommon for survivors of molestation or abuse (which would have been much worse than I went through) to become obese as kind of an 'armor' to protect themselves from unwanted attention.

I have huge breast also,been born with them as well,LOL .But I've never had that problem. Some guys are just jerks.and your situation is very Scary.People say I look very unfriendly,which is strange because I'm the nicest person.If the men whistle or disrespect you make sure you blatantly ignore them.Especially if its not someone you know by name.also I never have my breast exposed,so I probably look more fat than top heavy.I hate it when people walk up to you like they know you.It's soooo rude.just keep walking as if no ones there and detour to the nearest place with people in case he tries to get physical.

SRD1214,

No I did not go to the police.  I was 20 because I turned 21 in Nashville.  It was 1984 and "stalker" hadn't even really been thought up yet.  There was no caller ID or cell phones.  Heck we only had cable for a couple years at that point.  I didn't think that the police would take me seriously. They didn't have too good a track record with me.

Ok, here is a story...my girlfriend and I were at the park. We were in out late teens.  It was the local hangout and there was alot of cruising (that means driving around slow and showing off your car) so we were stuck in traffic in the park when some strange guy gets in the back seat of her car.  She and I are telling this guy to get the hell out, but he won't.  I don't remember why now but  this guy smacked my friend in the face HARD.  So, we get out of the car and leave it in the road in the park and go find a cop.  We come back with the cop and tell him what has happened. She still has a handprint on her face.

This crazy guy is still in the car!  He tells the cop that my friend is his girlfriend and they had a little argument and she wants to leave him at the park.  The cop BELIEVES HIM!!   We are telling this cop that we have never seen this guy before.  Dude says, oh she's her best friend she would say anything for her (talking about me).  The cop would not make this guy get out of my friends car!! The cop never asked this guy one question...like what our names were!! Just took his word! She moved the car to the side of the road while the cop was there and we went off to call her dad.  By the time her dad made it there he had given up and got out. 

How is that for crazy?!

YES. YES, I do know what you mean.

I'm DEFINITELY a weirdo magnet. No doubt.

For awhile, I started to think maybe it's something I'm doing.. or some vibe I'm giving off that I wouldn't speak up for myself or something like that..

but really.. I highly doubt merely saying responding to someone's greeting with a simple 'hi' would prompt them to try and shove their tongue down my throat. No joke.

That's NOT just an isolated incident, either. I have quite a few bizarre stories like that.

So, in short. Yes. Be careful. Have people walk you to your car at night, etc. Look out for yourself.

I have that problem for sure!!!

Eh- it just happend. Like right now. As I was typing....ugh. Men.

But they can get you free things. Men are dogs- [excuse me, most men are dogs] It's like..you can easily control them with the most simple things. haha