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Are women (some) really so petty?

Okay, I have a question for you all... I've got a friend who I talk to online alot...we're really close, sending video's back and fourth, calling all the time, IMing..basically we're in constant contact somehow.

Anyway, a few days ago he sent me an email and asked me to watch his friends YouTube video, they're childhood friends and I guess he wanted to sort of bring him into the loop with his other friends. So I watched it, added the guy to my friends and said hi..you know, all the normal stuff....But then my friend emailed me again and asked me to introduce myself under the video and in his words "just say hi, tell him who you are to me.."

Okay well, He and are are walking a fine line between close friends and something more. We've discussed it in detail and decided to just be friends and let things go from there, without the heavy relationship stuff right now...ya know? because neather of us can really handle that right now.

So I decided to play it safe and just say "Hey, I just wanted to introduce myself, I'm T's best friend...hope to get to know you more, he says alot of nice things about you"

Now I've got this woman...and I mean grown woman! coming out and saying "Oh, you're not his best friend, I am..." and basically pitching a fit under the video! at first I just laughed and said "If I had a dollar for every woman who wanted to fight about that I would be rich!" But now she's coming out with "well I guess I just have more confidence than you, I'm not afraid to fight you about this"

I couldn't believe it! I mean, come on...are we in highschool or something? this is crazy. So I just told her that if she was as confident as she claimed she wouldn't need to make a point of saying so, it's like a heavily muscled guy coming out and saying how strong he is. I mean...no crap! but obviously he doesn't think so if he has to say it! LOL

I left it at that, because honestly I'm too old to be having cat fights over a guy...it just about made me feel like I was in junior high! she's responded, but I didn't even read it.....I don't get it tho, are girls always like this about guys??? or is it just her? I would have thought that sort of thing was something we all grow out of....am I wrong?

High school never ends. It just never ever ends.

Unfortunately, yes some women are still like that regardless of their age, she obviously sees you as a threat!

Sigh....

Honestly theres a big part of me that wants to go back on that video and rip her a new one. But I don't see the point, we could go back and fourth for hours and nothing would change. I guess I'm trying to show T and myself that I can be stronger than that and not fall into her bickering...but it is sooo tempting!

and now I feel pathetic...lol

Nothing pathetic about that, it is hard not to retaliate when someone attacks you, maybe you could speak to T about her and as what it's about?

I was just going to respond when I saw andie's post.  I like that suggestion.  You need to be the bigger person here and not respond to her.  But I do suggest speaking with T just to let him know what's going on.

Oh I already talked to him...actually he sent me an email as soon as he saw her first reply. It's nothing, but petty jealousy....She's the sort who needs to feel above people somehow, even if it's something so small...Personally I don't see what the issue is...best friend or friend...what does it matter? I'm not a child, and my being his friend or best friend...it doesn't make me above any of his other friends...she seems to think it does. it's so childish really..and I feel bad for her...shes in her 30's!

To be so affected by something so small is....ugh....

Well if that's the case then I say you are most definitely doing the right thing by ignoring her, not worth the effort!

Original Post by moonikins:

High school never ends. It just never ever ends.

Agreed, after highschool and the "who has the best clothes, music, electronics stuff" it's "who has the best Man/woman, then its :who has the smartest, most athletic, talented kids, with the coolest clothes, music and electronics(on edit)". I can't wait to see what my peers and I compete over in our 70's. Who has the most aches and pains probably.hee hee

Ignore her, she will go away.

Ignore her.  She is a very insecure person.  Perhaps even borderline "something"...she sounds very possessive. 

Some women have nothing else to be proud of other than their belief or claim that they are so-and-so's best friend or boyfriend. Just remember that you have more to be proud of than that, and you will find that you are an overall happier person than she is.

If I were to pay her any attention, it would be pity for acting so childish and hostile over nothing. I think you handled the situation well. :)

:\ Some people are never like that, and others never grow out of it.  I think that just walking away is the best thing to do.

lol...I went back and read the last response to my comment about her "confidence" I'm not sure why, maybe because I couldn't help myself....but anyway, she wrote back "seems I struck a nerve with you'

LOL! seriously....struck a nerve with ME? yeah, I'm about to wash my hands of all of them...I love T alot, but at the same time, I'm not going to bicker back and fourth with this woman, and I was checking out T's page on myspace...he just put a picture of her in his "freinds" album....and what makes it even more funny? She's a lesbian.

Now, I don't care what her sexuality is, but he made a point of putting "K, my lesbian friend" under her picture. What is that about???? LOL

this whole thing is getting more childish by the minute....I'm about to tell them all to take a hike. LOL

I also think some people live for their "online dramas"...I met someone on match when I was single...and we added one another to "myspace". He was completely stringing several women along at once, told us all he was not ready for a relationship. But of course, some women take that as some sort of a challenge. I started getting nasty emails from one of the other women...I really think although he denied it...he loved the soup of drama he was creating. 

You say you are walking a fine line between friends and something else...how would you feel if the other woman told you the exact same thing? Maybe she was jealous because she is being "played" the same way. I wouldn't be so quick to blame her jealous nature....

In my situation, I just stopped seeing him, I did not feel very special knowing he was sleeping with several people..even though he was open about it. I wanted to feel special and loved. Thankfully, I met someone who treated me the way I preferred to be treated.

Original Post by seratuki:

lol...I went back and read the last response to my comment about her "confidence" I'm not sure why, maybe because I couldn't help myself....but anyway, she wrote back "seems I struck a nerve with you'

LOL! seriously....struck a nerve with ME? yeah, I'm about to wash my hands of all of them...I love T alot, but at the same time, I'm not going to bicker back and fourth with this woman, and I was checking out T's page on myspace...he just put a picture of her in his "freinds" album....and what makes it even more funny? She's a lesbian.

Now, I don't care what her sexuality is, but he made a point of putting "K, my lesbian friend" under her picture. What is that about???? LOL

this whole thing is getting more childish by the minute....I'm about to tell them all to take a hike. LOL

 Yeah, I have a gay friend on my myspace. I would never title his picture "MY GAY FRIEND"....weird!

I see your point Monarch..but then, it's not like he could be playing me or her...I didn't come out and introduce myself as his girlfriend, I said I was his best friend...two totally different classifications. Thats what got me so "what the heck?" about it..because if I said I was his GF and she came back with "but he said I was" or something, I would understand her getting upset.

My guess is that he put that under her picture for me...because that sort of keeps her in line with "friendship" dispite what she might be thinking...I suppose he could be playing both of us, but I don't see how...he hasn't made any promises of more than friendship, and he has introduced me to his other friends, even to his mother! I'm not going to get all "defend my man" crap on you all...because I've been played before...I just don't think thats whats going on. I suppose she could take him being friendly as hope for something, but she IS a lesbian, which makes it even more confusing to me...she states it clear as day all the time....ugh...people are so weird sometimes!

Yeah...well, it IS weird...and childish, and would be far more understandable if she had some sort of romantic interest. Jealousy is a many-faceted, weird thing. I struggle with it myself, and I doubly hate it when people are TRYING to push my buttons. She seems to want someone to fight with, when if she was was truly a single lesbian woman, she might want to hit on his friends instead of try to make mortal enemies out of them.

Nah, don't feed into it. You are above it and you can already see that.

um...maybe the problem isn't that women (or this one particularly woman) are petty but that you're trying to have "friendships" with people you never have to see in the flesh.

Original Post by pgeorgian:

um...maybe the problem isn't that women (or this one particularly woman) are petty but that you're trying to have "friendships" with people you never have to see in the flesh.

 Wow, that sums up and diminishes/minimises the whole issue entirely. I am sure if you just meet her she will be more charming in person and you will both hit it off famously !

I have found that most people that I disliked on-line or had doubts about...(that I had never met)...usually proved me right in person.  I believe people CAN form "friendships" on line. 

Original Post by pgeorgian:

um...maybe the problem isn't that women (or this one particularly woman) are petty but that you're trying to have "friendships" with people you never have to see in the flesh.

 Well now, what does that have to do with anything? Do you know how many thousands of people meet online? I don't find my face to face friendships any more fulfilling than the ones I made online. Actually I find the few people I have met online to be more understanding and more welcoming than those I have known for years face to face...

it's all about the ability to connect with someone, be it through similar hobbies or what have you, her being online doesn't make her any less of a petty person than if we had the same conversations face to face...she took something tiny and made it huge...that wouldn't have changed regardless....LOL

Original Post by seratuki:

lol...I went back and read the last response to my comment about her "confidence" I'm not sure why, maybe because I couldn't help myself....but anyway, she wrote back "seems I struck a nerve with you'

LOL! seriously....struck a nerve with ME? yeah, I'm about to wash my hands of all of them...I love T alot, but at the same time, I'm not going to bicker back and fourth with this woman, and I was checking out T's page on myspace...he just put a picture of her in his "freinds" album....and what makes it even more funny? She's a lesbian.

Now, I don't care what her sexuality is, but he made a point of putting "K, my lesbian friend" under her picture. What is that about???? LOL

this whole thing is getting more childish by the minute....I'm about to tell them all to take a hike. LOL

 I think that may be his way of telling you that she isn't a threat to you!