Women in your 40s....tell me about your perfect date.

OK, we aren't kids anymore...getting drunk at a bar and dancing like a fool doesn't really appeal to me anymore than it doe to you.

But what sounds like a good date to you?   If I like riding bikes and you do too, and we go out for fish tacos afterwards, is that a date?  Do you need something more romantic, and if so, what is it?

Unload, women. Educate your counterparts.

Take me out bowling, order me some chicken wings and an ice cold beer, and I'm yours.

Each woman is different jfk, so what one woman considers romantic and chivalrous another woman considers embarrassing and tacky. If you've found someone you're interested in, ask her.  Just saying.

First post? Really? That's sort of surprising.

Finding something you both have in common isn't a bad start.  Or - even more flattering - something she likes doing that possibly you're not so keen on.   Personally, as a theatre-lover, I'd be delighted if the man trying to get my affections secured a few tickets!  Details make a difference....  fish tacos and bike ride might be 'a nice day out'... fish tacos, bike ride and some flowers the next day says 'date'.

I think it depends on if you've got a whole day or just a few hours.

Just a few hours could include a hike or bikeride followed by a bite at a casual pub where you can hang out and talk for a while (play pool?)  Or even a picnic on a mountain top.  Doesn't matter what we're eating, but the atmosphere is important.  And I agree with gi-jane, you want to get your head into what SHE would like to do.

I think the most important factor is connection -- no matter what you choose to do, make sure that there's time to talk without any time constraints.  If you're dating your wife, try to steer the conversation away from the kids (or promise you won't bring them up) and focus on yourselves and your perspectives.  This'll help in re-connecting.  If it's someone new, well, you'll have lots to discover about the other person.

My first date with my husband after having the twins was, well, awkward.  We hadn't been alone in ages.  Once we relaxed we found out that we actually had a lot to say to each other and I rediscovered the guy I fell head over heels in love with.

Have a great time!

Original Post by jfk61:

OK, we aren't kids anymore...getting drunk at a bar and dancing like a fool doesn't really appeal to me anymore than it doe to you.

But what sounds like a good date to you?   If I like riding bikes and you do too, and we go out for fish tacos afterwards, is that a date?  Do you need something more romantic, and if so, what is it?

Unload, women. Educate your counterparts.

Not in my 40s yet but I can throw in a few guidelines...

-find something we are both interested in - don't do something you don't like because you think I do, that will make you bored and therefore boring. If there is absolutely nothing that we are both interested in, maybe we shouldn't be dating. Bike riding counts, heck, anything we are both into doing counts.

-food and/or drink is nice but not essential. Don't get real insistent about paying, if I want to split the cheque - it doesn't mean I don't like you, I might just have had too many dates where the guy felt I owed him something and I don't want to risk having to have that particular fight at the end. Call it insurance.

-I personally don't need anything especially romantic in terms of activities, but then again I am not all women.

-That said, make sure you flirt with me, whatever we are doing. Show me that you think I'm attractive, etc. Don't just act like my best friend. It's even OK if you're a little awkward - that will make me feel that you are really into me.

Hard to describe the perfect date, because that would vary by the particular guy. A perfect date with an outgoing electrician would probably be different from a perfect date with a recluse writer, but I could imagine a perfect date with either (or both, if I let my imagination run wild) ;)

Original Post by jfk61:

If I like riding bikes and you do too, and we go out for fish tacos afterwards, is that a date?  Do you need something more romantic, and if so, what is it?

This sounds like a fun date and could be more friendly or more intimate, depending on the interaction through it. 

Lends itself to either. When one's date extends themself in a thoughtful way, it becomes more romantic too.  Whether its making the lunch and putting it together, the personal effort adds to the romance.

Oooh, I'm out of my 40s, but I'll answer anyway.  I like riding my bike, but it's not really my idea of a date, more of something I enjoy doing by myself.  I think a good date would be a trip to the zoo, or maybe a museum or a park, with either a casual lunch or dinner.   Also, a movie is a good way to go, especially if you don't know the person too well, since you don't have to talk... afterwards you can discuss the movie.  

I agree with figurethefat, I don't know that a bike ride for a first date is all that romantic, for me anyway - I wouldn't really want to have biking shorts on and get all sweaty on a first date.  A museum, a movie, dinner and a cocktail afterwards, the theater, or a good live band at a bar......if I think of more I'll keep posting.

Continuation.....

I'm a HUGE Clevaland Cavaliers fan, so that would be the ultimate date for me!  I absolutely would not say no to free tickets - and it would give me a chance to get to know you.  If she's into sports at all, it's a thought.

I'm in my late 30's. The answer probably depends on the woman. Personally I love sports so almost any kind of sporting event would be fun. My 2nd or 3rd date with my now boyfriend of ~6 months, he took me to a baseball game. Baseball is the sport I care for the least but we had a great time. It was nice to be outside at night (TX - September) and we had to sit kind of close. If you're near a major city there should be farm team games that are cheaper and easier to get tickets to, if cost is a factor for planning a date.

What else? I'd love a concert at a smaller music venue. Like a coffee house or something like that so it's not so loud that you can't talk.

Go to a play or the symphony. A neighborhood kind of performance can be less costly and less dressy. A good comedy is always fun. They did an Amy Sedaris play near me at a community theatre and it was so much fun.

Go to the zoo, or a nice park where there's stuff to do. A casual bike ride at a lake (nothing overly athletic though). I'm a big fan of a date that has an activity involved - so it gives you something to focus on. At least in the beginning when you're getting to know each other. I think something with an activity involved is better than just having drinks or dinner. Less pressure, more to talk about.

And I agree with not doing something that you don't have ANY interest in. Find something you both enjoy doing and plan around that.