Wondering

I realize that an internet forum isn't the place to go for real mental health advice, but I was wondering if anyone could give me their opinion.  I'm starting to wonder if I have an anxiety disorder (general/social/mixture?)

I'm being treated for depression & SAD (therapy+antidepressants).  I'm starting to wonder if all the anxiety I have is normal.  I worry all the time.  Some people would probably consider me a hypochondriac (my mental conditions are real but I always get freaked out I have some random physical ailment; i don't.  my blood tests are always practically perfect).  I'm on WebMD way too much.  When I was younger I was terrified every night of tornados, fires, trees falling over, basically any natural disaster that could possibly strike our house haha.  I guess thats normal for a child.  During the school year I worry about what my teachers think of me when I don't do well.  I worry about what people think of me when I'm walking down the hallway.  I worry that I'm breathing too loud (er..) and try to control my breathing.  I force myself to raise my hand and participate in class but i actually get hot and nervous.  Sometimes I stutter around people who I consider "above" myself.  >.<  I can't EVER relax because when I watch tv or something of the sort I have this strong feeling that I SHOULD be doing something productive and I am .. failing basically.  (And yet I'm always on the computer and never get anything done..).  The other day I went over my friend's house to lay out by the pool on a beautiful day, in her beautiful backyard, and the whole time I felt tense and anxious.  Right now I'm currently so worried about monday its all I can think about (summer cross country practice starts and I haven't been working out much at all).  I'm anxious about being last and looking stupid.  I wouldn't actually consider myself shy.. I'm more.. introverted.  But I still seem to have social anxiety at random times.  Sometimes I love being the center of attention and others it makes me extremely paranoid.  When a conversation 'dies' I feel anxious.  The other day I went to the dentist and I was worried about them yelling at me for not taking good enough care of my teeth.  The only time I don't seem to worry is when I'm with my boyfriend. 

Sorry for this rant.  I was just sort of wondering if this was normal, and also kind of wanted to get it off my chest so I can try to relax a bit...

edit: for the record I am also worried about people 'yelling' at me in response to this message, or thinking it sounds stupid o.O

To some extent, all the worries you described sound pretty normal and common to me. But when it becomes so overwhelming that you find it impossible to relax, I think you have a real problem that you should face.

Of course, the obvious thing to do would be to consult a specialist about this. I was wondering if you have ever actively tried to improve your state of mind, or just sort of 'went with the flow', so to say, and just figured it`s the way you are and it can`t be changed. Because you have the ability to improve yourself in almost every way you can think of. And if you can`t find a technique that works on your own, that is where a professional can help.

Thanks for answering (: thats reassuring. I'll probably bring it up next session with my therapist.  Hmm.. I haven't done much I'll admit.  I force myself to do stuff that makes me uncomfotable to put myself out of my comfort zone.. that works to a point.  But thats about it.  Thanks!

You sound like me 20 years ago - lol.  I remember how stressfull it was to worry about everything - ick.  My one piece of advice would be to look towards behaviour modification/therapy more than the drugs and try to change the way you think. I HIGHLY recommend listening to the books on tape of Wayne Dyer (I listen while I'm driving) his lectures really helped me change my though patterns. Also, I recommend meditation to help you relax. And light therapy for the SADD - it really works then medication.

Original Post by manda182:

Thanks for answering (: thats reassuring. I'll probably bring it up next session with my therapist.  Hmm.. I haven't done much I'll admit.  I force myself to do stuff that makes me uncomfotable to put myself out of my comfort zone.. that works to a point.  But thats about it.  Thanks!

i do this sometimes - but mostly it just induces a panic attack :\   ..i've been diagnosed with minor SAD too - everything you described in your original post i can completely relate to.  isn't it amazing how much easier it is to write than it is to speak?

You don't sound that unusual to me.  I had the same problem when I was younger and a lot of people I know did, too.  I fought taking something for years because I thought it meant I was weak, crazy, etc.  Finally, I just said "to heck with it" and started take one 50 mg Zoloft per day.  It has really helped.

I don't have that anxious feeling anymore.  I feel like I can handle anything that will come my way.  I don't worry about the future or the past.  I finally got to the point where I don't care what people think about me.

You'll get past this.  Eventually, you'll not worry about everything and realize that you can handle situations when they happen.  I know the most anxious times for me was worrying about what could be.

You might have an anxiety disorder. I couldn't actually say. You mentioned being in treatment--have you talked about these feeling with your therapist? What do they think?

Manda you sound EXACTLY like me. Like exactly. I'm 24 years old. I don't have any real advice either as I'm in the same position as you (except no access to a therapist ><). So I look forward to others replies. :P

I really hope you can overcome this. I know exposure therapy is better than CBT, even though exposure therapy is harder. If I go to the same places everyday, those places aren't as threatening as they once were. I'm still on edge though but not paranoid in those places.

I have trouble in my own backyard too. =/

I'm starting to think it's generalized anxiety disorder with social anxiety disorder, I also have paranoid personality disorder and avoidant personality disorder (you might wanna look into it?). If you feel you may have those, bring it up with your therapist so he/she can make better treatment programs for you.

Hi there Manda

Sounds like a typical anxiety disorder. I used to be like that when I was younger...it seemed to ease once I realized that people really don't care that much about what I look like or act like. Having a good physical would put any hypocondriac tendencys to rest I would think. I would definitely keep up with a therapist but one thing I have found lately that is helping me alot is listening to Eckhart Tolle. He talks about all the crazy thinking that goes around in our heads like an endless loop. Our thoughts want us to constantly be thinking about the future, how will we react, how will others react? etc. It was a great relief for me to know that I do not have to listen to those thoughts in my head. They are conditioned from our early childhood up and are only our perceptions of how we think the world is. It is not necessarily a reality of how the world is.I would recommend that you get his book, especially "A New Earth" although his other book "The POwer of Now" is also excellent. IF you get the book "A New Earth" you can go to Oprahs website and find them discussing it chapter by chapter and it is very enlightening.

It's easy to say "Don't worry" but until we find a way not to worry (Because we have been worrying all of our life) we cannot really help ourselves.

Wayne Dyer is also a very good person to listen to/read....but I did find Eckhart Tolle helped me much more.

The reason it probably doesn't bother you so much when you are with your boyfriend is perhaps because you are involved mentally with him so you are not alone thinking your anxious thoughts.

Just my opinion. I can relate to what you are saying. Hope this is of some benefit to you.

All the best

Sharron

Hm. Be careful.That way you don't allow yourself to become overly worked up due to your anxiety. If you're going to try for self-diagnosis, your best bet is to use the internet/library to determine possible explanations for your problems while you wait for your doctor's appointment. :) The information you find may be incomplete/false/bias for multiple reasons.That doesn't mean that you can't prepare yourself and /or find reliable advice here. It's always good to research and ask questions,imo. It's just that the internet should be used in conjunction with a doctor's advice, rather than in place of it. imho

I would talk to your doctor about: Generalized Anxiety Disorder.  ( GAD )

(GAD)http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generalized_anxi ety_disorder

That search also linked to the below topics to read/learn about: 

• Anxiety disorder
• Social anxiety disorder
• Clinical depression
• Cognitive behavioral therapy
• Anxiety Disorders Association of America

btw: I wish you the absolute best of luck!

I'd like to add that you shouldn't do too much research on the internet because if you're like me, you'll find new things to worry about.  I've "had" breast cancer, colon cancer, cervical cancer, ovarian cancer, stomach cancer, skin cancer, liver disease, a brain tumor several times, heart disease, a stroke, leukemia, scabies, and any other diseases I read about.  Finally, I realized that I just couldn't read or see anything about diseases.  I couldn't even watch that Sponge Bob episode when he was sick because I would start freaking out.  How ridiculous is that?

I told my gynocologist about it and he said I had "new medical student disease".  That's something some medical students get when they start school and start reading about all kinds of symptoms and imagining they have everything.

I just stopped looking at anything that had to do with medical stuff.  The only magazine I read was Better Homes and Gardens because every other magazine (go look)  had articles about such topics as "What your doctor won't tell you", "Symptoms you may miss", "Is your office, home, car, etc. making you sick?"  I was falling for all that.  I just had to stop even looking at the magazine rack at the checkout.  It is SO easy to get overloaded on all that and it will just wear you out.

It really helped having a thorough check up. Now, every year have my check ups on time because I figure if something is wrong, it won't be my fault.  I didn't miss a check up. I would have caught it early.

I removed all the negative people from my life.  If someone brings you down, deal with them as little as possible.  Find things you enjoy, even if they are little things.  Just have a little escape.  For a while, mine was watching The Nanny on TV.  It is mindless, funny, no health problems, and just took the nagging voice out of my head for a while.

Like I said before, I don't worry about stuff anymore.  I just have faith that I will be able to handle whatever will happen, when it happens.  I bet you would, too.