Work and school... can you do both?

I'm having an argument with my significant other and I'm hoping for some input. Here's a bit of background:

I am a second year university student, enrolled full time (5 classes). I am totally financially independant.

I also have 2 jobs (both high tempo food service). I am a manager at one of them, and get called often to bail the store out (people call in sick, large caterning orders, etc.) I also have been known to come in to close the store at night when the owner for some reason cannot. My hours per week range from 50 to 60 on most weeks.

Unfortunately, my boyfriend has been critisizing me recently for working so much. He wouldn't talk to me for 2 days when I broke a date to work because my boss asked me to come in to close (which I would not normally do, but his nephew had passed away that afternoon - I felt it was the least I could do). He called the decision stupid and selfish.  He also said I am a moron if I think I can go to school and work at the same time, even though I am and have been for almost 4 semesters.

I guess my question is, what are people's views on the issue of working as a student? am i the only one who thinks its not only ok but good?

So here is the question -

Lots of people work and go to school--my only concern would be is the work overload such that your education suffers,but you didn't mention being worried about that.
Also filling in for someone who's just had a death in the family? "Selfish" is NOT the word I would use for that. "Decent", "Compassionate" and "Perfectly reasonable" come to mind though.
Maybe your boyfriend feels like between work and school you don't have enough time for him. Is he also a student? I'm guessing if he is, based on his comments about how people can't work and go to school at the same time, he may still be supported by his family through college and not understand what being financially independent entails. If that is the situation, I'm not sure what to say other than a bit of time and seeing more of how the world works will help him relate to your situation better.

Certainly, you can do both.  My husband worked full-time all through college and grad school.  However, he worked 40 hour weeks, not 50-60.  He had been working 50-60, but could not maintain school like that.  It did make time together a little hard sometimes, but not more than two loving, committed people can handle. 

yes it can be done... depends on how much you can handle though. i work full time and i take a class one night a week... but i dont think i could take more than 1 class a semester as i am SO tired after i come home.

You are a hero. I worked full time for 1 1/2 years of school and I just couldn't do it anymore.  I went for the big loans, and now I am paying the piper.

I agree with the above post that your bf must come from a different type of background, which undoubtedly informs his idea that going to school and working is moronic. Some people just really thrive under that kind of structure, and it sounds like you are one of them. I do think he must feel underappreciated/frustrated, and perhaps rightly so (although I can't say).  Ask him what it is he needs that he is not getting and how you two can work out a compromise.  If he can make a reasonable request (could you get one day off each week to spend some time with him, could you study together on a regular basis), you can move forward. This may require talking to your boss(es) about one day that you will be unavailable, but that seems perfectly reasonable to me. If his requests are unreasonable (quit x job or stop covering shifts entirely), then you may want to think twice. Unless his parents are offering to pay your tuition! HA!

I am now a grad student, have been financially independent since leaving home at 18, and I work....a lot too!  As an undergrad with 18+ credits per semester I worked front desk 40 hours a week, and kept my grades up.  You have to do what you need to in order to get by...I know how that is.  Be proud that you have an amazing work ethic--which is rare these days.  I moved up to front desk co-manager my 3rd year of college, working 50+ hours a week with 18+ credits per semester...tough, but it's been worth it.  I like the responsibility and the stability.

I know exactly how this kind of load and obligation feels.  Especially with boyfriends on scene.  I've been through a couple...the guy that took ill advantage of my time at the office...the guy that was intimidated by my independence...and my current boyfriend who works as hard as I do, and appreciates a hard-working, dedicated, independent woman.  We see each other pretty much every day even for a little bit, and make the absolute best of it.  Hopefully your bf will learn that this is a tribute to the hard working person you are, and he'll realize that means you don't give up on things, or put forth half-hearted effort, and when things settle down, you guys will have more time together.  GOOD LUCK!

I did it too.  I was a full time worker and full time student.  Even managed to get excellent grades.

i have a friend who's in grad school, works full time, and has seven kids.  yep, i said seven.  she's also a working artist anddoing research. and until very recently, she was a single mom.

people can do a lot of things.

I work 40 hours and go to school full time. Its hard as h**but I do it. I think your boy is more worried about not seeing you then your mental health.

Tell him to help you study if he is so worried about you being able to keep up.

BTW you are amazing- I would crumble if I added twenty more hours of work and another class.

Seriously you are amazing! I work 40 hours a week and can barely keep up with two online classes (well I am just completely un interested this quarter...)

 

Keep up the good work :] your boyfriend is probably just feeling neglected. That's pretty rude to say you are selfish for helping out your boss when his freakin nephew died! Jeeze.

Ha thanks for the kind words guys. But I think you must be right, he feels neglected. I do my best though, I really do. I text him constantly, meet up between classes, reserve friday nights (after work) for him, and get up early on Sundays (only day I would otherwise sleep in) to hang out with him. I really don't know what more I can do short of quitting which i can't (and wouldn't) do. I guess all I can do is talk to him about it, its just frustrating.

this is exactly why i dont have a boyfriend.

im a second year college student supporting myself and i barely have time for myself, let alone another person!!

i commend you. he needs to realize that there are priorities in your life, and yes, he is one of them, but he doesn't outweigh the others. honestly, your education is the most important thing in your life right now (at least that is how it is for me!) and if he only has criticism for you after you explain things to him, maybe he isn't the right person for you. or he just has some growing up to do before you guys can continue the relationship.

i dont know, but school and work is definitely possible, good job, and hang in there!

If I didn't work I could not go to school, end of story.

Sounds like the bf is a bit starved for attention. If he has a problem perhaps he would like to support you while you get your degree?

You guys are machines and are truly inspirations!

I don't think I could do it!

While I think it's admirable that you can manage so much at the same time, my advisor once said to me that school should be your job.

She was talking about grad school, but at the same time it's still applicable. I took the fall and went for the loans over working, knowing that while it would suck, it's still an investment and not worth my sanity or health.

I worked 50-60 hours a week during undegrad as well. It was hard sometimes but I managed. I was even working that much during my thesis and having to run psych experiments. My grades were not as great as they could've/should've been but they were fine. When I start grad school I will not work so much though.