Co-worker Birthday = Cake = Heckled into taking a piece

Like many on this site, I have been working hard to slim down. Over the past three weeks, I have changed my eating habits (again ) and revived the gym rat in me. Unfortunately, today is my co-worker's birthday. Inevitably, cake will be served and people will basically expect me to take a piece.

In all honesty, I really don't want that cake. Seriously, I don't. It's making me feel sick to my stomach to think about eating it.

How do you deal with office treats and celebrations? I don't want to be rude by refusing a piece, but I really don't want it. I work in a small office, so if I don't take a piece of cake, there will be heckling. Should I just politely refuse the cake or take a piece and not eat it? 99% chance I won't eat the cake...

Why is this such a dilemma?

I will usually take a piece but I don't eat it.  Once the festivities die down I toss it, no one notices but they do notice when you refuse to take a piece.

screw that... i dont take it... if i get the cake, i will eat the cake... if your will power allows you to have a piece of soft, moist, sweet birthday (ummm cake )  cake in front of you and not eat it... more power 2 ya!!! but me... i dont care how loud they heckle... i'm not taking a piece!!!!

If you really don't want it, don't have it.  If you need to, resort to the "doctor's orders" line.  Even better, for next time, find out who's organizing it and ask them to have some fresh fruit in addition to the cake, or even offer to bring it/help organize it.  Then you can plan on participating, but it's with something healthy. 

I refuse all sweet b/c they make me feel terrible after eating them.  If I were you I would bring a snack (maybe fruit) or veggies and eat that instead.

Don't let people heckle you into eating.  We all need to be in control and not succumb to that kind os sh**.

Good luck.

I polite "no thank you" and a change of the subject should suffice :)

You need to learn how to be able to do this in social settings to be successful.  

Although I am guilty of the take a pice and throw it out later thing, just have to play to the social situation.  

I work in a small office, as well, not to mention that it's all women. I was just honest about trying to eat healthier foods and everyone here was really supportive. They will joke around and offer me a piece of cake on birthdays, but no one gets offended when I politely refuse.

I also use the trick of bringing my own snack or water bottle so I have something to do. I think you'll stand out a lot less if you aren't just sitting there doing nothing.

I have a similar situation every other day (our department loves any excuse to over-indulge).  I have tried:

Taking a piece but not eating it (usually results in me eating 40 - 90% of said food)

Saying thank you but no (always results in being labeled 'skinny b*tch')

Avoid the situation entirely (results in being labeled unfriendly)

Suggesting a delicious but healthier (or non-food) celebratory alternative (somehow results in being labeled 'ungrateful')

Good luck.  Women sometimes believe their calories and lifestyle choices won't matter if EVERYONE participates in the badness.  It's not true, but it makes them feel better.  That shouldn't mean you have to succumb to it.  Stay strong whatever decision you make and just remember you are inadvertantly going to offend some people so be extra considerate and kind and tread lightly.

i've used tom's approach more than once.  i've also said that i'll take a piece home for later (and then don't).  but i usually just say "no" and mean it.

First of all - @crowleya - sounds EXACTLY like my office. We are celebrating another birthday tomorrow and another one next week. People here find ANY excuse for cake, including the President's birthday, Army "birthday," etc.

Secondly - the festivities are over and...............I WON!

I brought my coffee cup in with me and took a sliver of the cake. I sipped on my coffee and joined in the conversations. They forgot all about me and my cake, so I dumped it in the garbage. No questions, no jeers, no heckling.

Another birthday celebration tomorrow...UGH ! Thank you all for your advice. Two birthdays in one week is tough to handle, but I'm positive I can do it, especially with the support from my fellow CC'ers.

For those like me with less will-power than Spatch:

Instead of saying, "I can't" or "I'm on a diet," try, "No, thank you. I don't like cake." (It's true in my case, and it really works to stop peer pressure in its tracks.)

Most people who encourage you to indulge do it because they want you to feel pleasure -- so if it wouldn't be pleasurable, they'll probably just shrug it off, and also won't try so hard to tempt you next time.

And if you say, "I don't like cake," and someone replies, "No, just have some! Take it! Just try it!" then I think the best response is, "Hmm, why don't YOU take it?"

i'm vegan so i have a ready excuse for saying "no" to just about anything. but i'm with lyzmoon, here. just say "no thanks, i don't like that." no one can argue with that!

Good for you for fighting off the dreaded birthday cake.  All the ideas are good.  It is tough to fight peer pressure.  Our office orders out all the time.  I simply have told them if I dont bring it I dont eat it.  I join in the chatter and fun but I prefer my own food.  It is so easy for me to slide off track that by taking the cake I would have to taste it and then would find it hard to put it down.  I am working on discipline its definately not one of my strong suits.  Honestly, I want to set my self up for success and controlling my food is a habit I need to develop anyway.

When asked if you would like a piece of cake just tell the co-worker thanks for offering but I really can't at this time.

Just say "No thank you". If you don't want any no one can force you to eat a piece. Maybe even say "I'm not hungry I'll grab a piece for later" and take a piece then just toss it out. I don't like cake so I always say " No. I don't like cake". Then I get the looks for being the weirdo who doesn't like cake but it's the truth lol I don't like it.  No one is going to force feed you a piece so just be polite about it and no one should give you a hard time, it's only cake they can't get that upset with  you lol!

I vowed to a be a food bad-ass about it.

Food pusher: Here, have some cake.
Me: No, thank you.
FP: Why not?
Me: I don't want any.
FP: It's a party! You've gotta have cake.
Me: No, thank you.
FP: Are you on a diet or something?
Me: I don't want any, thank you.

And so on. They start looking like a moron if they keep pushing it in the face of polite refusal. Or you could ask, "Why is it so important to you that I have cake?"

Really, they can't force you to take it. And what does it matter what they think of you for not eating it?

Original Post by crowleya:

I have a similar situation every other day (our department loves any excuse to over-indulge).  I have tried:

Taking a piece but not eating it (usually results in me eating 40 - 90% of said food)

Saying thank you but no (always results in being labeled 'skinny b*tch')

Avoid the situation entirely (results in being labeled unfriendly)

Suggesting a delicious but healthier (or non-food) celebratory alternative (somehow results in being labeled 'ungrateful')

Good luck.  Women sometimes believe their calories and lifestyle choices won't matter if EVERYONE participates in the badness.  It's not true, but it makes them feel better.  That shouldn't mean you have to succumb to it.  Stay strong whatever decision you make and just remember you are inadvertantly going to offend some people so be extra considerate and kind and tread lightly.

 Not to steal your thread spatch, but OMG crowleya when I read your response I thought you had gotten inside my head.  That is so SPOT on.  I have lived through all those situations in almost exactly the same. way.  I have finally gotten to the point in my life that I CAN take that piece of whatever,,, push it around the plate a bit, maybe act like I am taking a taste and then dispose of it when no one is looking.  Maybe it's the people pleaser in me, or maybe it is to deflect awful comments like "You are not still on a diet are you"  No People it is just a life style change.  Never was on a diet dumb***es.    Good Luck

First of all, I stay in the background and try to be inconspicuous.  I find that saying "It looks so good, but I can't - doctor's orders, so I don't dare eat it."  If I'm questioned or coaxed, I usually make a remark that if I eat it I'll pay later, and don't explain what I mean.  Then I step back away from where they are serving the cake. 

Don't worry.  With a little practice you'll get the hang of saying no.  Anybody who called me a skinny bitch would soon find themselves the target of a hostile workplace harrasement charge by the human resources department.  People can't abuse you if you don't allow them to.  Stand up for yourself!

When I worked in an office setting, I would say No thank you.  The first time they were shocked and asked why and I said I am trying to lose a few lbs, so no cake for me.  After that, they would ask if I wanted any, and I would simply say no thank you.  When it came time for my birthday, they brought in fruit and cheese instead of cake.  I was happy, the rest of the office, not so much!

Original Post by betzc:

Original Post by crowleya:

I have a similar situation every other day (our department loves any excuse to over-indulge).  I have tried:

Taking a piece but not eating it (usually results in me eating 40 - 90% of said food)

Saying thank you but no (always results in being labeled 'skinny b*tch')

Avoid the situation entirely (results in being labeled unfriendly)

Suggesting a delicious but healthier (or non-food) celebratory alternative (somehow results in being labeled 'ungrateful')

Good luck.  Women sometimes believe their calories and lifestyle choices won't matter if EVERYONE participates in the badness.  It's not true, but it makes them feel better.  That shouldn't mean you have to succumb to it.  Stay strong whatever decision you make and just remember you are inadvertantly going to offend some people so be extra considerate and kind and tread lightly.

 Not to steal your thread spatch, but OMG crowleya when I read your response I thought you had gotten inside my head.  That is so SPOT on.  I have lived through all those situations in almost exactly the same. way.  I have finally gotten to the point in my life that I CAN take that piece of whatever,,, push it around the plate a bit, maybe act like I am taking a taste and then dispose of it when no one is looking.  Maybe it's the people pleaser in me, or maybe it is to deflect awful comments like "You are not still on a diet are you"  No People it is just a life style change.  Never was on a diet dumb***es.    Good Luck

I totally agree w/ this too.. its like people need you to make bad choices to justify theirs.  Half the time I just want to be like.. No I dont want any cake!  Look at my body and look at yours.. I don't look this way on accident, lol.  But clearly I don't say that, haha.  

Original Post by pgeorgian:

i've also said that i'll take a piece home for later (and then don't). 

 So today was the SECOND birthday celebration in one week and I used this tip - thanks pgeorgian!

I was in a meeting during the festivities, but they kindly saved me a piece. I said I will probably take it home (key word being probably). That made them happy.