Working out causing relationship problems. Help!

As I have mentioned before, I tend to workout 6-7 days a week. 6 days of cardio and 3 days of weight training. I do not need to lose weights, I am 5'4" and 122lbs, but I just love to workout. I am a little too toned in the leg and butt area and would like to slim that down. And I think that the more I work out, the more I will slim down. But in fact it seems to do the opposite.

My boyfriend and I have been having problems in our relationship because of my workout habits. He thinks that I am obsessed with the gym. He's always upset when I talk about going to the gym, so I just "hide" it from him.

I would like to cut back to maybe doing cardio 4 times a week and still doing weights 3 times a week (but maybe integrate them together, so I would only go to the gym 4 times instead of 6 or 7). Will this cut back help me see the results that I want to see, by sliming my lower half? Or will it cause me to get fladdy?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 years (I am 27) and I love him very much. But I don't want to get fat for him.

If you keep up healthy eating habits, you body won't be able to store fat. Just eat enough calories that you maintain your weight and be sure to factor in your workouts. I know it's hard to stop working out. You just need to decide whether you want to lie to your boyfriend or not.

I have no idea how to slim the lower body. If I did, I'd be doing so right now. My legs aremuscular as all get out. I just want them to un-bulk, but I'm pretty sure that with the amount of cardio and stuff that I do, it's not going to happen.

I had a similar issue in my last relationship.

Weight training and running are major parts of my life, something I really enjoy and invest a ton of time and mental energy into.  I think my last girlfriend felt that she was in a competition with the gym for my affection.  :)

I ended up breaking things off with her, and this was one of the reasons.

Moving forward, I'm hoping that the next relationship I'm in is with someone who shares my interest in fitness.  Unfortunately, the dungeon of a weight room I go to isn't the best place to meet ladies... but I'm nothing if not patient.  =P

Anyway, I saw the post and felt like I should leave a comment to at least say that I've had a similar experience.

I wish I had some advice for you avl, but I'm afriad this is just one of those things that a person has to through for themselves.

I can empathize with your situation, I know it sucked when I was going through it, and I wish you the best.

I see two issues here

1) You - You're hiding things from him. Never good in a relationship and you should know that.

2) Him - What is his issue regarding you going to the gym? I'd try to find out. Is he worried that if you get thin you won't love him anymore? Is he feeling guilty because he feels he should be doing it too? Is he upset, perhaps fairly, regarding your health ( knowing nothing about your habits )

I feel for you Avl, I had the sam eproblem. Bit it was my job to be in the gym! my old girlfriends would hate the fact that I worked so closely with my female clients. They couldn't take it, even though we would start dating after meeting inthe gym! That makes no sense at all. Try bringing him to the gym with you, and you can also remind him the reason he is with you is because you take care of your body.

as far as your legs are concerned try increasing the rep range to 20-30 reps on leg press, extensions and lug curls, that is after squats, do that 2-3 times a week, you want to try and overtrain the legs a bit to help the muscles shrink.

Thanks for all the advice. I guess the major issue is not that I am working out, because he goes to the gym too. But the real concern for him is how "obsessed" I am with the gym. All I talk about is exercising and nutrition. I know that I have an "obsessive" personality and that I tend to focus on one thing. I know that I have body image issues and that's what concerns him more than anything. He thinks that my entire life revolves around working out (which it kinda does), and he would like me to stop going as much. But my concern is that I don't want to get fat because of that.