Worried that baby girl may be a tank....

Well, this past weekend, we had Thanksgiving supper at a friend's house.  There were some two-year old twins there that were about 6 mths older than my baby girl.  My sweet little baboo looked like she was a good year their senior, though.  Korrie is about 28+ lbs at 20 mths and she is quite tall, with a very stocky build.  She eats incredibly well, is confident, fearless and tough.  I am so grateful!

That being said: The issue I'm having and have had since even before she was born, is that I'm afraid that Korrie will grow up to be bigger than all her little peers, and feel self conscious about herself - leading to bigger eating issues.  I am very mindful of having her eat (us leading by example) well-balanced meals and getting lots of exercise.  She is not an athlete by any means, though, and she definitely prefers her carb-heavy snacks (I mentioned this in a previous post) I try to make sure she eats foods that are higher in fibre as well as I have heard that children who eat higher fibre foods tend to become less obese than those having higher carbs or higher protein meals. 

I really don't want to make a HUGE issue of it as she grows up, and I really want to help her develop high self esteem.  I do NOT want to project my own self image issues onto her and I do NOT force her to finish all her food if she is not hungry (although DH tries to do so quite frequently).  DH and I are both overweight to some degree and she is unfortunate to have to inherit our stocky builds. 

Like I said, I am so grateful that she is happy and healthy and self confident now, but I admit that I'm worried that as she gets older, she will start feeling self conscious about her size and start dieting etc.  A friend of mine has a 5 yr old daughter that already talks about how 'fat' she is and how she has to 'diet'.  Her daughter is a willowy reed, much like herself. 

How do I make sure my baby girl is happy and active and healthy?

As long as at home you are going to continue working to project a healthy body image she will grow up to be just fine.  I think the most important role in a child's life, especially a female is to show her how to love her body no matter what shape or size and to continue to encourage healthy choices. Because you are teaching her proper eating habits now you are helping to set her up on the best path possible!!

I am 6 feet tall. I have always been much taller than my peers. Yes it did make me self conscious but lets be realistic- everyone has something that will make them feel a bit odd while growing up. She might be taller or bigger, she may have acne, she might have some sort of crazy hair ....the list can go on and on, as long as you  play an active positive role in  a positive body image she will come out of it just fine and grow to love herself regardless of what her peers think.

I am happy to be my height now, if anything you should be happy that she is bigger than the rest. Who wants to be the same as everyone else!!

Thanks for the perspective, tannis.  That makes me feel a little better as a parent.  I think I just freaked a little bit that everyone at the Thanksgiving supper was remarking about what a 'little tank' she was, and "what are you feeding that kid?" and "wow! Next year, she'll be tearing up the empire state building"....It brought me back to my childhood, when well-meaning adults used to comment on my size and I just had a vision of my poor beautiful girl feeling bad about herself the way I did.  But then, I have to keep reminding myself that she is not me, and that she may have the self esteem and confidence from her father and she may be able to just brush it off.  I have to try not to freak out and project all my own body image insecurities on her.  Does anybody else struggle with this for their babies?

Its odd that I came upon this thread. There is a little one in my life and until she was three she was a total...tank. Just ate everything in sight, and was bigger than her older sister. I just recently saw new photos of her and she has completely grown into it and is as cute as ever.  Dont worry your daughter will grow into her tank body or become one beautiful tall woman.

My oldest son, now 7 was like that when he was a baby too.  There wasn't a food he didn't like and didn't eat!  He came home from the hospital drinking 8 oz bottles.  he wasn't on a height/weight chart until he was 4 and he was in the 99% percentile then!  He's always been very healthy, only on anti biotics twice in his life and he was a daycare kid.  Now he plays football, hockey, and baseball; is a solid mass of muscle and had balanced out to a nice 49in and 61 lbs.  She will even out!  As long as she is healthy and active and you steer her in the right direction, she will be just fine!

You're also comparing her to twins... twins tend to start out small and take a longer time to catch up. My own little one was born early at just under three pounds... she's almost 3 now and still only weighs 25 pounds dripping wet... whereas I have a friend who's son was over 30 at 1 - and he's simply a big boy! Little ones grow at their own rates... nothing to worry about

Thanks for your reassurance - it really makes me feel a little better, and gives me a bit of much needed perspective.  I just hear those comments sometimes and find myself getting really anxious (total projection of my own painful childhood memories, obviously!)

Thanks again!

I'd focus more on your friend's five year-old.  She has learned the 'I'm fat' habits from Mum.... so that's what you want to avoid.  Children soak up attitudes like a sponge so if Mummy spends all day saying things like...'I'm so big... I need to lose weight... I'm too fat for these jeans... ' that's what the child will think is a normal way of thinking.

So learn from your friend's error and whenever you talk about appearance  - yours or your child's -  in front of your children do so in positive terms.  Whether you're talking about how pretty she looks or how nice you feel in a particular outfit or how smart your husband looks after a hair-cut, always make it something good.  Keep anything negative to yourself.

Food is another area to be careful with.  Very small children should eat fruit and vegetables but they don't need too many high-fibre foods because it makes it more difficult for them to get all the nourishment they need from their diet.   Do, try to eat with your child/children and eat the same foods.  This emphasises that it's normal to enjoy lots of different things... even if you only have a small amount.   Mums that never eat cakes or biscuits with their children can find the children start to wonder why not... is there something bad about those foods?... or is there something strange about Mum?

My daughter was 9lbs 10 at birth and continued to to be a tank until she was about 4ish. she's now 6 and is head and shoulders above some of her class mates but is very much in proportion with herself.

A quick scout round any primary school class with soon show you that kids come in all shapes and sizes so you really shouldn't worry so long as she's eating fairly healthily.

My sister was a tank as a baby. She ate as much as you gave her, and apparently my aunt and grandmother once had a contest to see how much they could get her to eat. Strangers would stop in the supermarket and compliment my mom's "little pumpkin. At 27, she weighs around 50kg and has never dieted. My brother was a tiny baby who would get distracted after eating 3 cornflakes. At 19, he's close on 6 feet tall. Still skinny, but starting to fill out now. Babies are weird, but they seem to balance out on their own.