I'm having some trouble with my weight perception and I'd like some feedback on whether I'm starting down a bad path or whether I'm overreacting. First a little background: I was born underweight (35+ year old mother with a stressful job, etc) and was underweight until I was 13, when I hit the sugar cookies a little too hard and went up to 113lb at a height of 5'2. I lost weight again when I was 15, coming down to 105. From years 15-18, through a combination of varsity sports, calorie counting, and parents who never bought food to keep in the house, I went down to 95. Freshmen year of college got me up to 108. This past year, my sophomore year, I was 108 from September to January, went back down to 100 by April, and am currently back up to 105.
The BMI calculator says 105 at 5'3 is underweight but I have a bit of a stomach and am incredibly unhappy with my body. I work out 6 days a week, usually burning around 600 calories per workout, and I count calories obsessively. The obsession is starting to become worse; when I'm not at the gym I'm thinking about going to the gym and I freak out over everything I eat, even though I only eat around 1000 calories a day.
I'm asking for feedback because I never really felt anorexic, especially when I hear about girls much taller than me who weighed in the 80s. My doctor never said anything to me about an ED, even when I weighed 95 pounds. But for people who were formally diagnosed: does my current thought process about my weight and my calorie obsession sound like something I should be worried about?
Current Weight: 105 (age 20), Most I Ever Weighed:113 (age 13), Least I ever Weighed: 95 (age 16-18)
It's good that you're concerned about your health, rather than being in denial about your behavior.
In my opinion, you sound like you have a bad body image of yourself - judging from your weight/height, you're already thin. If you're unhappy with certain areas, weight training (crunches, squats, etc.) is always helpful. :)
As for being diagnosed... I'm not sure. I went undiagnosed with anorexia for three years, until I finally came to my senses, and now I'm four months into recovery. Trust me, it's worth taking the leap. You'd be surprised at how much happier your life is when you can think about things other than food and exercise (although I do try to be healthy).
Anyway, best of luck, and be careful!
