Really worried...

Okay, so this is the first time ive actually been nervous about something like this. A little background...

Im 6'3'', 22 yr old male and i weight 180lbs. At my heaviest i weighed in at 330ish and i worked out and dieted down to 210. I then fell into a bit of a depresion and succumbed to an eating disorder where i dropped down to about 160 and looked really bad. I started refeeding and lost a little weight since my metabolism started back up again, then i started swelling in my abdomen and began to restrict again. After it started going away a bit i started eating 3000 something calories a day for about three weeks (mostly at night as i would restrict during the day). Then i started restricting a bit again and only eating around 2000 and normally less. Now im working out 5x a week, have a job where i work on my feet and eat every 2-3 hours and the swelling is coming back with a vengence. People that have seen it, including my dr, say that its just abdominal fat (FYI, not something you say to someone in recovery). Not only that but i eat super clean and barely take in any fats anyway so how am i retaining all this fat? It also shifts depending on how i sit in a chair or the way i lay down when i sleep and its not squishy like fat, its more dense and it pits when i press down on it. Does fat do this, is it water retention, is there anything i can do?

I wouldnt be too worried or stressed but the loose skin from when i lost weight is not saggy and filled with what ive been told is fat. Can anyone offer some support to me, or some answers, maybe even a push in the right direction? I would greatly appreciate anything. Thanks!

I have never heard of that before but it is good that you have already consuted your doctor. If you don't agree with what he says maybe you should go to a specialist for a second opinion.

It couuld be a result of your restricted intake/increased activity--especially if your body has memories of starvation.

"Starvation mode" triggers the body to want to store fat vs muscle, and in that state whatever activity you do just scares it to do that more rather than telling it to build muscle.

It doesn't take much to scare a body coming out of malnourishment, and your needs are easily well over 3000 before it will feel safe.

Plus when you're not eating enough your digestion gets messed up = just plain bloat.

Yeah, i know that im not eating 3000 a day which is what scares me. Like, i think im the exeption to the rule since i have this loose skin from the loss. Im taking in like 22-2500 a day and working out. Ive also been eating this way for about two months now so i would think it would go away.

IM SO SICK OF DEALING WITH THIS! Recovery would be SO much easier if this was not an issue.

it wouldnt be recovery if this was not an issue. recovery is hard. it is not pleasant. it is about facing the things that scare you and moving past it. you dont feel good about yourself recovering, but a heroin addict doesnt feel good when he's coming off the stuff. it is about envisaging the life you can have afterwards if you choose to stop dictating your  whole life based on some abdominal fat.

Yeah, the thing that gets me though is that i dont even know what it is. IS it fat, water, will it go away?

Has anyone else experienced this?

by looking at your pictures (you look great by the way), I think it might just be loose skin combined (maybe) with a tiny bit of abdominal fat. I don't mean to sound triggering in any way as I am recovering from an ED myself, but even for me, I am on the low end of my healthy range and everywhere else I am skinny like you, everywhere except my stomach area. I think we both just need to work on toning up. However, I do believe you have some loose skin too due to all the weight you have lost. I would go to a plastic surgeon for a free consultation to see if it is indeed loose skin or not. 

my best guess is that it is loose skin due to your drastic weight loss.  Since you're young, it should snap back but it will take a lot of time.

I do want to say I was concerned when you read you were eating very little fat.  fat is very important for health and DOESN'T MAKE YOU FAT.  If your fat intake is too low, your hormones and immune system will be compromised.  The brain is about 80% fat.  You dont' want to starve it.

Do  you have abdominal pain that is sharp and feels like extreme gas? Just want to make sure it's not your appendix. Is it on the right side?

If no pain then probably what the others have said.

Your body will redistribute any weight gained as it continues to recover, this takes time, first just putting in onto your body and then you still have to eat enough that it can shift things around.

Fat in food is not fat on your body.  You need fats, preferrably from nuts and olive oils and fish.  These fats allow your body to use certain vitamins and minerals.

if you feel bloated or cant suck your tummy in its probably water retention, youll know if its that becasue you will feel the swell- if it feels normal like just your normal stomach it may be a little ab fat. you need to eat more. i eat 2200 cals a day and im a female and a cashier, not too strenuous work. i work out alot but you may workout even more than me. you should upto a solid 2800. and keep up your fat intake. there is an awful misconception that restricting calories from fat and grams of fat taken in evey day will result in fat loss. it wont. and it will hurt your heart and your health and result in cravings and loss of appetite control. get a MINIMUM of 20% of your intake from fat, they say healthy ranges can be from 20-35% though. There have been studies proving that limiting carbohydrates will result in more fat loss than fat restriction as a matter of fact. Not eating healthy fats will make you retain more fat ironically. get some olive oil in your diet, its tasty good for you and has been shown to help reduction in appetite and belly fat. same for nuts- peanuts and almonds are great choices.

by the way i agree with happinesswhereartthou, you do look nice how you are, i know it can be frustarting when you work so hard to still have problem areas but you do look good. dont stress so much, if you are prone to any kind of obsessiveness thinkijng about the bad side is not a good idea, focus on how far you've come. whether it is fat, loose skin, or bloating, it will pass.

by the way- just thought of this- if i were you trying to figure out if it is bloat or not id set one day to reduce sodium alot and flush out my body with water and cranberry juice or pills. drink some coffee and tea too. all these things flush out water, so keep sodium at a low- but never below 500 mg and flush out. weigh yourself the next morning after you take your morning bathroom trip and see what happens. you can retain up to eight pounds of water in your body.

Clay, Clay, Clay...

I'm pretty sure it's lose skin+water retention. MAJOR water retention because you're working out and still not eating enough (come on, I'm still eating more than you! Haha... I'm WINNING! lol) 

How much salt are you taking in? Even BREAD, I've found, can have 10% daily value of salt, and deli meats? We're talking 25% in TWO OUNCES!

What exercises are you doing right now? Is it cardio or weight training? 

-Chirp

Hi Clay

I hope you get your issue figured out.  While reading your posts I sensed that you have a serious underlaying issue with food [still].  You self and body image being healthy is what is going to give you the most freedom.  Possibly while you are working on your core issue[s] you'll find the struggle with "controlling" food will diminish.

I wish you the best.

Terri

Hi. Has your doctor done extensive bloodwork and a physical to rule out any other issues? Now I know for me I tend to regain a lot in my stomach. I have been told that there are organs that need protecting there so at first it will go there. It will redistribute but it takes time and to be consistent. I know it is hard but the more you go back and forth with eating and weight your body can never adjust. It is hard to not get scared when the weight comes on and in a way that is not optimal but it is the only way to get past the eating disorder. I agree with others that you have to work on the issues behind this and I wonder are you in therapy?Take care of yourself

lads for Gods sake. Extensive bloodwork? there is a good chance that you are putting on weight-which you are supposed to. stop focusing on your body. if you want to recover prepare to work hard to stop focusing on yourself so much.

none of us can know what it is. but looking to find out precisely what it is, is only indulging in your need to be in uber control.

you dont sound like you are particularly committd to recovery to be honest. sorry if thats harsh but thats the way i read the situation. you still have pics of "cheat meals" on your profile.... that is a dieters way of thinking or in your case an eating disorder sufferer's way. no food should be considered cheating, because that means you are still working to a regeime which you feel you sometimes need to cheat from

It's official... i love you all. Honestly, Valentines day is almost here and if i had my way i would be taking all of you out. Picnic and a nice walk around the city, then my guitar would come ot of nowhwere.... something to tell your friends about. sorry, i got carried away.

Chirpp: Im doing a little cardio and weights. I only really lift like three days a week which is hard at the moment cause im pretty sure alot of my muscle kinda petered away. But im building it back up.

Hope: I was in therepy but there were two problems. One was of course financial and two was that she was kind of a little too self rightcheous for me. Plus i find that if i surround myself with good people and am honest with myself most of all, its so much better or me....... and its free!

Fidget: I take it your either really blunt or have never had an ED before. Either way 2 things. The first thing is i posted that food there for my brother in NY who wanted to make sure i was eating out when i started recovery. The second thing is that i want you to wait a month and come down to austin. Ill show you how dedicated to recovery i am.

i am irish... and in this recessionary state unless money falls out of the sky il be in no position to fly to austin ... thanks for the invite though.

i am blunt... but cautiously so.. you may not believe that last part. i am also suffered an eating disorder and depression so severe that it nearly cost me my life. i spent 8months in hosp and had to take 2 years out of college. i am now back in college in the middle of a degree in medicine. so i do fully understand the illogical grip of an eating disorder. but you are going to find your body changing. and if you indulge every change you see with this amont of preoccupation then the process of recovery will be too difficult.

i am heavier now by a good bit than i was at my lightest and for a while i found it really hard to stop looking at those bits which haunted me. i had irrational needs and questions like you do (look at the title "really worried..." if your stools had blood and you found a lump on your groin... then i would understand really worried. but logically you are really worried about regaining better health which seems illogical)

distraction and finding things which take the focus of your disorder away are the things which will help you move forward. if you cannot find them then you need to keep looking. flower arranging if you have to. the point is i never thought i would get away from those thoughts which plagued and tormented me. but i did and a lot of it is about pushing yourself to see beyond yourself

I do want to point out that weight lifting makes muscles retain water. That may be part of it...

First Fidget though you mean well there is a way to respond to people that is more kind hearted. I agree everyone needs a kick in the butt once an awhile with an ed but still. I agree with a lot of your suggestions for coping and building a bigger life. I do not agree that one should not make sure especially after loosing so much weight like he has to have bloodwork and a physical. I have and had a lot of health problems arise with refeeding and/or from the ed. It is better to be safe then sorry. You may be right that it is just from regaining weight but who knows.

Now Clay I understand the expense of treatment because I have had to always pay out of pocket and have spent an unreal amount for inpatient and outpatient. Some will work on a sliding scale though. Now if this is not an option for myself I am working on ways to build a bigger life outside the ed to make me feel good about me. Same for you. I have read your posts and responses and I was inpatient with a gentleman like you who was kind hearted and had a lot going for him but he did not see it and he had to work on ways to feel this. How are you doing now and with getting back to a better intake? What about in your life in general? It sounds like you are very busy.On a side not I have had the dumbest things said to me by doctors who don't understand ed and it is hard but you have to remain focused on your life goals.

you have no idea what tone i said what i said what said in. so please dont regard me as malicious or otherwise. some ppl like to sugar coat it. i dont.

clay is pi**n about in my opinion. he eats. gains some weight and then restricts to below 2000 again. this is not refeeding issue... he seems to have been refeeding for a while. and i stand by what i said. if you analyse every new bump you see you will NEVER escape the ED.