the worst boyfriend or girlfriend you've ever had?

who's the worst girl or guy you've been in a relationship with? tell the stories and give the details.

you first!

When I was in my very early 20's I had a jackass of a boyfriend that wanted me to shave the peach fuzz off of my butt.  (I didnt) I almost married the guy.  Hand addressed 150 wedding invites. Had them in a box, was walking through my apartment parking lot to take them to the post office and just threw the whole box into the dumpster.  He was awful in SO many ways.

he was my first real boyfriend...i had never been in a serious relationship and when i met chad, i fell head over heels but i was nervous about being in a relationship. my pastor and i were very close and he challenged me to determine whether this guy was right for me by seeing if he would go 6 months without kissing me. well, we lasted six months, we began to kiss and fool around. but about six months after that, (a year into our relationship) he started to get violent and depressed. he took it out on me, hitting me and yelling at me when i didnt fool around with him. he was pretty much suicidal, and he was into cutting himself, and got me into it too...he made ME cut him. and i let him cut me too. (i was in 8th grade-freshman year at the time, easily peer pressured). six months after THAT, i got fed up and told him to F--- off. it broke my heart into a million pieces, but i learned from it, and i gained so much respect for myself in the process.

the love of my life...we broke up two years ago...took me to mcdonalds on our six month "anniversary" and didnt have his wallet. i had 4 bucks with me...he ordered two double cheeseburgers and a drink off the dollar menu. i had a small yogurt parfait. (do'h) his offense was forgiveable...i let him make it up to me, but then he dumped me on our year anniversary...for drinking because he ditched me for a concert. i was too drunk to realize he dumped me, and i left for mexico the next day not knowing we were over...when i came home, he had a new girlfriend.

boy, i sure know how to pick 'em...

Well how the heck can I follow that!!

I agree with "you first"...

..and I also need some clarification before answering.

When you say "worst", do you mean relationships that ended the worst?  Or relationships that were the worst while you were in them?  Do you have to be "officially" going out?

The reason I ask is that I have one in mind that ended terribly, the 2nd worst event in my life...but if you judge the "entire" relationship, I actually had more good than bad...it was just the ending that was bad.

Mine was with a binge alcoholic, and all the mood swings that come with that! It wasn't a good relationship to be in, but I believe that out of every bad situation you can gain something good and I took away from that relationship many emotional +'s.

mine is a REALLY long story, and it's also weird because he only made my living a living hell after we broke up.

he asked me out, but i'd liked him for years; we broke up around 6 months later. after that 6 months, i was in love.

i came back to school at 107 lbs (anorexia). he showed up at my door, told me loved me and he wanted to be with me. he's never done anything harmful before that, so i trusted him.. big mistake. he convinced me have sex with him and then told me he changed his mind about loving me, and that he only wanted me for my body.

in december, i wanted to impress him so i got high with him. he said he loved me and wanted an actual relationship with me. i loved him, so i had sex with him again. the next day he claimed he was too high to remember ever agreeing to go out with me again, but he remembered the sex. after that, it was clear we weren't going out again, so i tried to be his bestfriend because i still loved the jerk.

in february he convinced me to do some acid, so i did. he then led me back to the school, and i got caught by the principal. my ex was standing with me, so he was questioned to. but when he was questioned, he claimed that i broke his gameboy and that i owed him $250; i never broke anything. my mom picked me up and took me home, and all of a sudden there was a knock at the door.

my ex and his bestfriend tried to kick my door down to get the money and called the cops. the policeman showed up and said if i didn't pay him, i was going to be charged with destruction of private property, so my mother had to pay.

i was heavily on drugs from december until june because of him.

my mom told me never to speak to him again, but that didn't last long for me. i was back to hanging around with him within 2 weeks. one day he came up to me and asked me to do him the hugest favour, and i of course said yes. he said his dad bought him an ipod, but bought him the wrong color and he wanted to trade with me. so naturally i said yes (how dumb was i?).

in march, he got expelled from our school for drugs so i thought the hell was over. but in june, an older man came to my door and told me if i didn't return his daughter's STOLEN ipod immediately, he was calling the police.

so here i sit, broken-hearted and ipod-less. and the jerk lives two blocks away

eerica, I hate to tell you, but your EX is an anti-social or as the popular term goes: Psychopath.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antisocial_perso nality_disorder

Look at the symptoms on the link provided, and see if he matches up. You might be still infatuated with him and thus unable to view him objectively, but try to snap yourself out of it.

But just from your description, I can see that he has shown some of the popular symptoms including lack of empathy. Lack of remorse related to hurting others, superficial charm,  Disregard for the safety of self or others, Substance abuse, Persistent lying or stealing, Tendency to violate the rights and boundaries of others, Inability to make or keep friends.

But I'm willing to bet that he probably has every symptom.

I don't know if there is any effective treatment for him, but I'm not familiar with the methods in modern psychotherapy used to treat ASPD.

For your safety, you'll have to cut off contact with him permanently. Sounds like you've been through hell because of this guy already.

If you're attracted to a guy such as this, you might repeat this pattern of being attracted to this type of guy throughout most of your life. Look at Moonikins thread on the "not so nice guy" and see if you can identify with anything she said.

See my responce in the "not nice guys" thread. I kind of explained it there.

My husband was my first boyfriend, but I did date a co-worker that did everything I was against (a whole lot of sexual partners, smoking pot, drinking disgusting beer, listening to hip hop and rap music, and having no ambition for life other than to work in fast food).  It didn't go far.  I mostly did it so I could do it and see if there was a chance I'd ever be for those things, but nope.  Still not.

He didn't let me have friends

He called more than 50 times a day. I am not exaggerating.

Checked all my email,voicemails,myspace,aim, everything. I had nothing that he didn't have axcess to.

He tried to run me over with his car.

I was not allowed to talk to anyone in public in front of him.

I was not allowed to pee in the bathroom alone. He had to make sure I wasn't calling anyone in the bathroom.

He went through my phone everyday and made me call numbers in it he thought were other men.

He gave me a bedtime, a curfew.

He made lists of things he didn't like about me, and what I should change.

He cheated on me, multiple times.

He stalked me.

He stalked my friends.

He had his dad stalk me.

He was perverted, insane.

Wouldn't let me listen to new music.

I wasn't allowed anywhere without him.

Tried to stab my friends.

Hospitalized himself to get my attention.

Cussed at me all day long.

Would not let me hang up the phone without telling him I loved him ten times.

He took 3 years I cannot get back.

Original Post by aeroplanexc:

 

.took me to mcdonalds on our six month "anniversary"

My ex took me there on our 2 year anniversary. Through the drive thru

hahhahaha

I dated my worst boyfriend when I was in my early 20's and he was in his early 30's. No drugs or violence, but some serious head-trips. When I first met him, he seemed so together. I thought he was fun, smart, considerate, ambitious, great-looking. I really believed I'd hit the jack-pot.

However, he couldn't hold up the facade. Little by little he revealed a drunk'n, depressed, suicidal mental case. 

Some of the basic things he did;

Drove me to see a band, got upset with me, didn't tell me he was upset, left without telling me, I couldn't find him (because didn't know he'd left), he had my wallet, my keys, and my transportation (we lived together), nice unknown man got me a cab, I had to break in to my house because doors were locked and I didn't have keys. When I finally made my way in through the kitchen window, I found him in the spare room. Never told me why he got upset with me. Said I knew what I'd done and should stop acting coy.

He also made a list of things he liked and disliked about me (really, what's with the lists?).

He told me he thought I was going to get fat and should increase my run distance (we worked out together...he was like a drill sergeant). My response; I threw a wadded up napkin at his face. Then I laughed like a crazy woman when it bounced of his mean forhead. Nothing funnier than seeing a napkin bounce off a scowl. Oh, yeah, um, throwing things at people is wrong I mean.

Lots of silent treatments. One lasted 3 days because I didn't buy him a George Forman Grill as a "just because I love him" gift. Another silent treatment an entire day because I didn't think to buy him Hostess Cupcakes, even though I know he loves them. Yeah, what?

Asked me to marry him. Then took it back and said if I wanted to marry him I would have to ask HIM.

And lots of other crazy stuff. Dang, I kept telling myself that most of the time, everything was so great (we did have a lot of good times). But eventually, these wacko times hit a limit and I couldn't deny that he would ruin me if I stayed.

I saw him a couple years ago. He looked horrible! He'd lost his fantastic job because he just quit showing up. Stopped paying his bills, lost his car. And yes, he got fat.

Since this relationship, I no longer try to make things work. If the guy pulls any of this crazy stuff even once, I'm out. Hmmm. Still single and much happier this way.

Worst boyfriend was the first I would consider the label "boyfriend" for. We went out when I was fourteen nearly fifteen for a few months after having been friends for a couple of years. He was very prideful and egotistic and liked to put me down as a "joke" to his friends, which I dumbly laughed along with for far too long. He then cheated on me with a girl I had once been friends with, but came flooding out with apologies. And, me being hopeless, I kept being forgiving and putting up with his verbal abuse until I finally got sick of it.

Things escalated; he publically humiliated me in front of my friends and people at school so badly I lashed out and slapped him. He proceeded to try and choke me. My friend Kym had to pull him off of me because he wasn't going to let go.

Yeah. Fun, when you're like, sixteen. And very, very sad. But it speaks volumes of the kind of prat he's turned out to be.

I can only pick one?

How about my exhusband? I went out with friends, and came home to find him having phone sex with a woman he works with. When I tried to grab his cell phone, he shoved me down and tried to strangle me, so I kicked his leg (it was all I could reach from the position I was in) and he punched me in the face.

And there was the guy who I was absolutely crazy about. We dated for 6 months, before I found out he was actually 10 yrs older then he told me, had a wife, and 3 kids he never mentioned.

I am taking a break from guys for awhile!! I apparently have horrible judgment.

I have three I can't decide which is worse...

The first was while I was in high school.  I was with him for four years (from the ages of 12 to 16) and I know he loved me but he was totally a negative influence on me.  I would spend all of my time with him, which made me lose all of my friends and I think to this day has hurt my ability to interact in social situations.  He would always critize the way I look, I still think this has effected my self-confidence.  Then, at the end of it all, he cheated on me and left me for the other girl and I'm still insecure in relationships.  To top it all off he secretly video taped us having sex, then showed it to all of this friends.  I found out about it because one of my good friends told me my bf showed it to him.  He wasn't THAT horrible but all of the things he did gave me a lot of negative qualities I still carry with me today and that's why he gets a top worst spot.

The second was a guy I dated briefly and the strangest things would make him fly off the handle.  Like once, we were driving in my car and there was a little rattling noise coming form the back seat and he freaked out.  Made me stop the car and find the noise.  Another time, we were in my room and I told him I had to get up and go to class.  Apparently that was something to get mad about because he laid on top of me, grabbed the sides of the bed and smashed me down.  That was the last straw.

The third guy was another relatively brief encounter (~6 months) and he totally manipulated me.  He drew me in with his adorable two year old, told me how he recently left his wife because she cheated on him and acted all vulnerable.  I ended up giving him several hundred dollars for various things for him and his kid, then later found out he was still with his wife the entire time.  He never paid me back either.

Wow! haha... schnooder, what a catch! I don't know how you let yourself continue with this, it seems that once the facade begins to fade, you're so emotionally deep and committed to the relationship that it's just not possible to get out. Once you're hooked, you're at the mercy of the sadistic whims of your partner. Cheaters always project their own behavior onto their significant others.

I guess a woman's intuition is deactivated when it comes to choosing romantic partners. For some with a lot of baggage, the only defense is to never date again, and let your past experiences with men turn you into a cynic that remains always skeptical about someone's motives and never allow yourself to trust anyone again. That's a little too much for me, I wouldn't let someone's bad behavior influence my life to the point where I felt like it changed me for the worse and I had no control over it—to become a helpless victim.

Any sign of needy, jealous, or neurotic behavior will automatically turn you off, or as I call them Red Flag Behavior.

Just be yourself. I hear this from women all the time, if I ask a woman how to attract another woman, she will say Just Be Yourself. It has nothing to do with attraction in the direct sense, but it saves the woman a lot of pain and misery if she gets hooked into the relationship and it turns out that the atttractive guy was just a facade, and by then it's too late.

Just be yourself is a safety measure, a screening command, it won't attract women, but it will protect them.

Now I don't feel so guilty for sleeping with women that have boyfriends, because I know the boyfriend is probably some douchebag.

Mine was this guy that would call me like every 3 days, oh and he said ' i THINK i love you' what an idiot. I was like 16 anyway lol

I have 2 really bad ones.  The first would get drunk, & hit me in the head with empty beer bottles.  That may sound funny, but I would be sitting across the room & he would pelt them at me.  The other was an identity thief.  I would be at work & he would take my car & go do God knows what.  He was dating another girl-taking her out in my car!!  What a bunch of douches!

mine isn't very dramatic.  he just refused to...um...give me a very specific and critical form of...um...attention.  it didn't last.

Well, I was married for 12 years to a good man. He and I had our problems and we divorced, and I would never say anything bad about him and vice versa. We had a very amicable divorce and our friends even commented on how it was the most pleasant divorce they've seen.

I guess I was feeling vulnerable, naive or just plain stupid, because I ended up getting into a relationship with this complete turd of a human being. I don't know what I was thinking.

- alcoholic and pot smoker even in front of his kids. I was embarrassed to say anything to my family, because I chose this loser. When he would start drinking heavily I would leave and wander around wal mart at 2am, because I thought I had nowhere to go.

-took my credit card and ran it up with home improvement material for his crappy house and beer and stuck me with the bill after only giving me a small part of what he owes me. After the credit card was run up, and he realized he wasn't going to get my share of the house money from my divorce he threw me out. I mean he literally threw my things on his front yard one morning. He packed my things, and helped himself to a lot of my stuff.

-never once gave me even a card to say happy birthday or christmas. I bought his kids' Christmas.I always recognized his b-day and christmas. I gave his kid my bed (and he cut holes in it with a knife), and I had no bed to sleep in when he threw me out.

- the next day after throwing me out, he calls and wants me to move back in and he had a "breakdown". After I refuse he starts harassing me and being pathetic. 

- Oh yeah, he cheated on me as well, and very cruelly admitted it in a drunken rage. Then the next day he said he was just trying to make me angry, but in reality he had in fact cheated.

I'm so embarrassed about it.  I'm still trying to pay off the credit card debt he put me in. Oh, I'm on social security, because I have Lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis so it takes almost my whole ss check to pay the credit card bill. I'm determined though, because I refuse to file bankcruptcy. That's what the skum bag wanted me to do, because he has horrible credit. He bought a $4,500.00 hot tub and never paid a dime for it.  I also wore myself out physically taking care of his kids.

-I found some horrible things out about his family that I won't go into here, but there is a real sickness in them and I'm very glad I don't have children that were exposed to them. I never hated anyone before him, but I certainly have hate in my heart for him now.

In the end, I count myself lucky I got away from him. I let myself heal and then started dating again. I met my fiance who is 100% nothing like that piece of garbage, and I thank God every day for that!