The worst pickup line you've ever heard

I love bad pickup lines. :)

Come on and tell me what the worst pickup line you've ever used it, whether it was used on you or on someone you know.

Him: "Do you have 50p?"

Me: "What for?"

Him: "I need to call heaven, because I think they are missing an angel"

AAAAWWWWW

Him: "Do you have any Indian in you?"

Me: "No, why?"

Him: "Do you want some?"

ERGH, No! Creep!!

Drunk, leery, smelly guy comes up to me in the pub, tries to put his arm around me and says "Grab your coat, love, you've pulled ..." (As in, you've picked me up) ... the last person on the planet I would ever want to "pull" ... eew!

Original Post by junrau:

My cousin and I were at the waterslides one summer. There was this cute chick he wanted to hit on so we drummed up a plan. We convinced her that he had cancer and only had about 5 years tops to live. He was such a good bullsh*ter that this girl was completely convinced and was all over him. Damn....come to think of it I am definately going to hell.

Well, I'll see you there because I think that's hilarious... in a terrible way, of course.

 

Anyway, I was at a hotel that was FULL of teens [we were all in the area for a huge youth gathering] & my friend & I were taking the elvator up to the top floor to get back to our room. It opened on one of the floors before that & there were 3 guys lying on the floor, on their backs, talking & all. & the one goes, "hey, you're cute upside down... let me see if you're cute right side up" so he turned around & sat up so he could see us & he was like "yeah, you're cute right-side up too."
At least it wasn't a generic line haha.

My favorite pickup line of all time..."if you are what you eat, I could be you by morning".  Somehow it seems particularly appropriate on this website :p

1. if you were lotion i'd rub you all over my body

2. if they made dolls of you i'd collect them all

3. (messed up the real one and said this;) Goodness i'm tired! I've been running around stalking you all day!

4. I put the STD in STUD all i need is U.

5. If i followed you home would you keep me? (i thought that one was cute)

And...

6. Do you believe in helping the homeless? Then take me home with you!!

I think my all time favorite (and one that I have to admit actually worked!) was from my current boyfriend... "Wanna play a one sided game of spin the bottle?" Granted it was on our 2nd date, not exactly a pick up line, but still hilarious.

This kind of has to be explained in context - It was 9/11 and my boyfriend at the time was trapped in the city, I was trapped in Brooklyn and trying to figure out passage into Manhattan. This guy asked me why I looked so upset (a stupid question in and of itself) and when I explained the situation he said:

"Well let me give you my number, if your man don't come back alive you give me a call."

I was completely stunned, too stunned to even curse him out.

Boy: "Oh wait I..I think you have something in..in your eye"

Me: "Oh I do? What is it? Does it look painfull?"

Boy: "Oh no it's ok it's just a twinkle"

 

 

ok it's a little moronic but it was cute.......and  it worked

I have a good one! Wait, let me just c/p it from my non-cc blog...

Fail Method of Picking up Jade:
Reek of alcohol and appear to have forgotten what bathing means.

Fail Method of Picking up Jade:
Ignore being told "no" and go on about how you want to get married. Oh HELL no!

Fail Method of Picking up Jade:
Ignore being told a lie that the object of your temporary affections doesn't do men and start assuring her that you'll [edited for content] her all night.

Fail Method of Picking up Jade:
Ignore being told no when asking for her number and then ignore being told no when offering to give yours instead.

Fail Method of Picking up Jade:
Keep talking about her gray hair and age as things she's hot despite of.

Fail Method of Picking up Jade:
Comment on her style, taste, nice a**, general figure and then pull out the best line of them all, "If my grandma had a body like yours, there be some incest goin on."

Fail. Fail. And FAIL.

But it makes an amusing anecdote.

"Your eyebrows are fantastic!  They are better than Brooke Shields!" 

"I have a Lamborghini parked outside, do you want to see it?" 

A very unfit man once said to me "I am a football player for the Denver Broncos", I told him I did not like foot ball.

Then there was the guy who backed me into a wall.  He seemed to think I would be turned on by intimidation. He was very surprised when I stepped forward forcing him to back up instead!

Then there was the swingers in Tucson.  A group of men over 60 approached me when I waited on them at a restaurant.  "You know we have this little party every week and you look like you would be a lot of fun" (barf)

Then there was the 80 year old man who offered me a cool million to sleep with him.  (double barf)

Then there was the owner of another restaurant I worked at - he grabbed me and kissed me on the neck.  (triple barf)

Well gee...aside from the first one, these are not bad pickup lines.  Just bad experiences!  lol

"My friend here wants to take you to dinner. He has a lot of money."

"Do you know I'm hitting on you?" me: Yeah I got that."Does it do anything for you?" I have a boyfriend. "He doesn't have to know about me."

50 something year old guy; "Can I get a copy of my receipt... with your phone number on it?"

"Do you wear hair ties on your wrists?" Me: No. Why? "In case you need to tie your hair back while you are busy with me."  WTF