Is it really worth it?? Please motivate me!

Right now, I'm just wondering if being on a diet is worth it. I've been reading through quite a lot of posts, looking for some motivation and low calorie snacking ideas, and to be honest i'm just finding them more disheartening than motivating!

My problem is this: I'm 5'4, and before I started 'dieting' was 140 pounds ish, or just under that maybe. I ate pretty much everything I wanted, and because I didn't often go crazy and binge on massive amounts, I found that I naturally maintained on 140, eating whatever I wanted. Now I know 140 is at the upper end of 'healthy' for someone who's 5'4, but to be honest I carry the extra weight quite well (a lot of it goes on my boobs, although my belly and thighs and bum also take some of it...), and didn't feel particularly fat. However I was a bit heavier than I'd like to have been, and decided to try calorie counting and getting more exercise.

My ultimate goal is 120, and right now I'm 130. I look better than I did before, no question about that. The weight loss is noticable and it definitely looks good. I also feel a bit healthier and can walk uphill longer before I get tired! BUT, and this is where the problem starts... I MISS EATING NORMALLY! God, I miss it immensley. Mentally adding up all my calories is boring me. Feeling like I can never have a proper chocolate bar as a treat (because those 300 calories are just too much to waste on a snack when you're only meant to be eating 1400 in a day), or go out for a meal and order whatever the hell I like (up to 1000 calories in a bacon cheese burger???) is RUBBISH.

I don't want to snack on frozen grapes... I want to eat crisps and chocolate! I don't want to have to choose one of the few low calorie things on the menu, I want to order what I actually WANT to eat!

But if I want to get to 120, I can't do that. Even if I want to stay on 130, I can't do that. But I could give up on the life sentence which dieting seems to be, and stay (slightly) fat and happy at 140... would that really be so bad? What does a couple of inches on your waist really matter when it means you can eat without worrying?

Does anyone else feel like this? Is there anything anyone can say to motivate me through it?

my first thought was that you don't really want to lose that last ten very badly.

but when i see phrases like "before i started dieting" and "i miss eating normally" it makes me think you've missed the most important message here.

you should be eating normally.  making unsustainable changes is a blueprint for failure.  you don't like frozen grapes?  don't eat frozen grapes.  eat crisps and chocolate.  just eat less of them, or eat them less often. 

you shouldn't have to eliminate anything from your diet to lose weight (and especially not your favourites); you just have to modify how and when you eat them.  if you usually eat crisps every second day, cut back to once a week, or don't have any unless you've had enough exercise to allow for it.

i love chips (i'm canadian) too.  i used to eat a 200g bag in a sitting (often with dip), and i'd do it on a fairly regular basis.  now i buy my favourite gourmet chips, in 140g bags, maybe once a month.  and when i do, it lasts me a week.  i enjoy them more than i ever did before. 

but first you have to decide if you really want it. 

I take the point about just eating less of what I actually want to snack on rather than completely eliminating stuff, and I do try to do that, but find it a bit difficult to control myself once the crisps etc have been opened!

And, reading what I've said back, I do realise I'm being pretty petulant... but I think I'm just sick of constantly thinking about it, and wanted to vent. At the moment I know how many calories are in pretty much everything I eat, and I resent it. Eating is a normal bodily function, should this much thought really have to go into it? It's just so tiring sometimes!

yeah, counting can get tedious. 

i don't believe that you really have to count and weigh and measure everything.  it's good once in a while for a reality check, and if i'm eating something new i'll use the recipe analyzer or look up the contents.  but generally, if you eat less than you've been eating, you're going to lose weight.

there are lots of ways to change your habits that don't involve counting calories. i know, for instance, that a meal (unless it's a salad) should fit on an eight-inch plate or in a small soup bowl.  if the dishwasher fills up with 11-inch plates, i'm probably not doing very well. 

i'm a pasta hound.  if i bring home a package of fresh tortellini, i'll divide it up immediately into one and two-serving packages (75-85g/serving).  that way i don't find myself doing that just-a-little-more thing when i'm putting it in the pot.

they're just habits, like any other.  and habits can change.

in order to be successful you definately need to get to a point where you feel normal.  maybe that means eating chips and chocolate every once in a while and maybe that means being 140 lbs.  happiness depends on soo many factors.   if you think weighing less and eating more will make you happy then, maybe you can work out more (or play sports or anything active) so you can up your calories and eat more without gaining weight.  

you dont have to be 120 lbs to be happy or beautiful., so you have to decide whether the process to lose those last tens pounds and keep them off is worth it. 

edit:  i agree that calorie counting sucks and i think for someone like you who doenst have a big weight problem it might be a lot less stressful to just be aware of what you are eating vs. actually counting.   you sound like you were pretty happy before the calorie counting.  maybe stop counting, stay aware though of what your eating, and keep exercising.

You don't want to be on a diet.  You want to make some lifestyle changes.  Dieting never goes away; well maybe temporarily when and/or if you reach your goal.  Healthy lifestyle changes can be learned.  The more involved you are with these lifestyle changes, the more normal it will seem to you.  If you know to watch your proportions, cut out the junk and eat proper foods, then you are not dieting.  Having the freedom to have a piece of birthday cake then becomes your choice, not some "diet" plans big no-no.  I have my less than perfect food day, but I know to just continue on.  The very next meal. 

If I feel that I have to restrict my foods, then pfft!; I'd be out of here too.  Don't give up on yourself.  There's too many winners in this CC family that are here to support you.  I bet not one of them changed their nutritional habits over night.  I know I didn't, and not one of them didn't have the same feelings you're having right now.  If you don't do it, no one is going to do it for you.  

I have a thought to add here.  You need to consider the lifestyle changes that the other members have mentioned and get used to them now.  Up the exercise, eat less of the stuff you crave but still have it, etc. etc..  Don't worry about the weight if you like yourself the way you are now, I bet you look just fine. 

BUT...and this is why I am posting, according to your profile one of your groups is the 20 somethings.  So that tells me you are in your 20's.  I am telling you from experience and knowledge, that as you get older, if you keep eating exactly like you are eating now, you will NOT easily maintain 140 any longer.  Hormones change, metabolism changes, lifestyles can change.   I was never skinny but I was always on the low side of average sized.  I ate like there was no tomorrow.  I can't do that now, at 49.  My 16 year old daughter eats sweets, burgers, pizza, ice cream (mixed in with the healthy dinners and breakfasts I get down her) and she is 5'4" 107.  She doesn't look skinny because of the way she carries the weight but she is thin.  I am trying now to get her to change her eating habits.  To sometimes have the chocolate bar but other times, choose the yogurt and instead of the burger, have the grilled chicken sandwich sometimes.   Not only is it better for your health, your waistline will thank you one day in the future.   Plus, heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, and all sorts of other things can be kept in check by mostly making good food choices but letting yourself have the other stuff sometimes too. 

That's my 2 cents worth!  :)

Original Post by etwbok:

I have a thought to add here.  You need to consider the lifestyle changes that the other members have mentioned and get used to them now.  Up the exercise, eat less of the stuff you crave but still have it, etc. etc..  Don't worry about the weight if you like yourself the way you are now, I bet you look just fine. 

BUT...and this is why I am posting, according to your profile one of your groups is the 20 somethings.  So that tells me you are in your 20's.  I am telling you from experience and knowledge, that as you get older, if you keep eating exactly like you are eating now, you will NOT easily maintain 140 any longer.  Hormones change, metabolism changes, lifestyles can change.   I was never skinny but I was always on the low side of average sized.  I ate like there was no tomorrow.  I can't do that now, at 49.  My 16 year old daughter eats sweets, burgers, pizza, ice cream (mixed in with the healthy dinners and breakfasts I get down her) and she is 5'4" 107.  She doesn't look skinny because of the way she carries the weight but she is thin.  I am trying now to get her to change her eating habits.  To sometimes have the chocolate bar but other times, choose the yogurt and instead of the burger, have the grilled chicken sandwich sometimes.   Not only is it better for your health, your waistline will thank you one day in the future.   Plus, heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, and all sorts of other things can be kept in check by mostly making good food choices but letting yourself have the other stuff sometimes too. 

That's my 2 cents worth!  :)

 OMG! I JUST turned 48 (on the 17th) and want to reiterate EVERYTHING you just said!! My daughter just turned 26 today and she had a big eye-opener last year when she turned 25. All of the sudden she packed on about 20 pounds! She lost all of it (heathily) and looks and feels great now. Ruthiepiepie, you probably look great now.... fantastic! But your body and metabolism WILL change. Start to figure out what exercise options you enjoy and dig in! (Tennis, running, biking, lifting -- hopefully you like lifting as it is the best, imo) Keep in your weight in the 130 range and you will live happily ever after and feel energized :o !

ruthiepie, the title of your thread just struck me: you ask if it's worth it.  we know what you're giving up, and some of us have suggested that you don't have to give those things up.  but what we don't know is what you hope to gain.

120 is just a number.  the real question is: what does 120 mean to you?  what are you actually trying to achieve?

i think this is a good question for all of us to ask ourselves periodically, because it is easy to get hung up on a number (or a body part, as in the threads posted by girls who want their thighs not to touch). 

for me, even though i'm still trying to lose a few pounds, i've already achieved what i wanted to achieve.  i'm fit; i'm strong; i'm happy with my body.  i look good, and i feel good. and maybe that's why i haven't been able to go from 140 to 135 in months of trying....

Is it worth it?  If the "worth it" refers to a restrictive diet - by design or because in your mind it is restrictive - I might be inclined to say no, it's not. No one should have to worry about what they should or shouldn't eat. Or at least not constantly.

Yet isn't the power of Calorie Counting the fact that there are no forbidden foods. What we learn here is to manage portions. We learn that we can perhaps find acceptible substitutes for certain things. And not to accept substitutes for others. We learn that exaggerating on Saturday night will not derail our efforts -- so long as we get ourselves back on track. Just as a 24 hour fast will not help us lose much other than water and create an artificial number on the scale.  So if you ask me "is it worth it" from this perspective I need to empathetically say, scream, "YES".

Calorie Counting has helped me embrace food not fight it. It has helped me improve my overall nutrition thanks to the pesky nutrition rating. It has helped me feel good about my body, my strength and the positive messages that I am sending my children. For me, it's very much worth it. 

Like many of us here, I picked a number as a goal weight and I've gotten there a few times only to have the scale inch back up. Yet I've grown through the experience and maybe for the first time in my life have a healthy relationship with food and my body. And this is definately worth it.

I can't answer the question for you. I can just share a few thoughts. But I can tell you that I truely believe the journey is as important as the final outcome.