If I was you I wouldn't lose any more weight? Does anyone now why they are saying this?

Up to 8 people are saying to me some close friends, If I was you I wouldn't lose any more weight. Me and my Partner don't know why the praise has stopped and in place the above is constantly repeated. I am 5 ft 9 inches and was 20 stone, very overweight, clinically obese, lost 6 1/2 stone since February with CC and have never felt better, apart from the gall stones, which I am done for and op hopefully soon, I am down to 13 1/2 stone and am going to try and reach 11 1/2 stone, which to me and my partner thinks is a comfortable and sensible weight for my height and frame as I am a large frame all this has been taken into account and I am taking it slowly and carefully monitoring my progress, Doctors say my ideal weight is 10 stone but I will be happy at 11 1/2 stone, but the praise has dried up and now all I am getting from friends, neighbours and work mates is if I was you I wouldn't lose any more weight???????? I am confused what does this mean, and what can they see what me and my partner cant, we have quizzed some and they just say I would probably look gaunt and unwell????? Anyone out there now the real reason why praise has turned into this and its messing with my head.

Look forward to hearing your comments and views also be interested if you too have had these same remarks.

Lots of love Astralhippy aka Sue, ps feel free to look at my photos for reference to see what you reckon on my progress, got to up load some more as I have lost more since last photo.

First, a lot of people don't know what a healthy weight actually is, so they really have no idea if you're medically healthy or not. 

Second, people you've known for a while see this change as positive in the beginning.  Then, as you become thinner, they may start to worry that you're going too far or that you're developing an ED... because they may not actually know what a healthy weight for you is (see above). 

Third, just because you adjust your own self-image as you lose weight, they may not be able to.  They knew you as the obese you and have a hard time accepting or adjusting to the healthy you.

Fourth, they may be jealous or they may view your success as additional pressure to also lose weight or become healthier.  As you probably know, that's a daunting task that many aren't up to and don't want to face. 

These are just my ideas based on the same types of comments that I've received.  It's strange being told you're too skinny when you know that you are medically overweight or at a perfectly healthy weight.

of course i have no clue what is actually going on in those people's heads, but some of it could be jealousy/envy. many people feel like they can,t improve themselves and it makes them feel worse when they see others doing what they can't/won't.

i am your height and striving for 150#, which is a little lower than your goal (probably because our frames are different). so i'm  pretty sure you'll be happy with your goal and don't let anyone else tell you different. negative comments from acquaintances can be bad enough, but from friends... if they do it again then take the opportunity to share with them some of your "diet" details. maybe you can help them learn about a healthy life style.

something else i just thought of, since i am "tall" but my extra weight was evenly distributed, so most people just couldn't believe that i weighed as much as i did. (wearing the "right" cloths helps to disguise as well. LOL) i've had a few people that hadn't seen me since i started CC and lost the first 20#. they were very surprised by the difference, mostly because they didn't think i was overweight to begin with. fortunately for me they've all been pleasant and supporting, so far.

so keep up the good work and only worry about making yourself and your partner happy!

sometimes when people see weight loss they are probably not used to seeing you looking like that and the image they have of you in their heads is one when you were bigger so seeing you slimmer is obviously a drastic change (especially with the amount you have lost!) I think gettinga healthy weight is important and you should not let people's negative comments get you down.

You are working very very hard obviously so don't get demotivated.

maybe if you worked on muscle definition that would make people see how toned you are and healthy and that you're not losing too much!!

good luck babe!

I'm 5'2" and 128-130 lbs, that's a healthy BMI but at the top range. My DOCTOR told me to stop losing. I asked her what she thought I way...she said 115 lbs. I told her NO and hopped on the scale. She was astonished...

The bottom line is that MANY ppl have no idea what a healthy weight looks like. OR you might have a higher weight but LOOK way slimmer. In both cases , the perception is different than the reality.

The only person to decide what's best for you is...YOU! As long as you want to stay within a healthy weight range, everything will be fine!

I don't really have anything different to say than the previous posters, just my first thought; which was indeed that most people, especially your friends, are so used to seeing the fat you that they can hardly comprehend the thin you, they have a hard time adjusting and since they already adjusted to the current you, they can not imagine having to adjust even more, just like the other posters already said. And indeed that a real load of people don't know what a healthy weight looks like, I have been asured I don't need to lose any weight, more than just once, and I am technically still overweight, not even in a healthy weight range yet!!!

blessed be

Sometimes, people can appear as though they carry a lot less weight than they do. This is why frame size is important. My mother, for example, is 5'2 and just under ten stone (136) which is a BMI of 24.9. But her frame is fairly large, and her weight carries in such a way that she is actually very slim in appearance. But I have to agree with: The bottom line is that MANY ppl have no idea what a healthy weight looks like. OR you might have a higher weight but LOOK way slimmer. In both cases , the perception is different than the reality. Sums it up very well.

Thanks to all those who have replyed commented and helped me understand the many reasons why I have had this constanly said to me, its made me understand things better, I was getting really worried about it that they had seen something I or my partner hadn't. When I was 20 stone, I did carry it well and I use to shock people if I told them my weight as half of them didn't believe until I went on a set of scales, I do have a large frame and some people said I was big boned not fat, so losing this weight to those must of worried them or may of made them not be able to get there head round it.

I also have friends who do want to lose weight and can't so they may be in the envy section or the fed up lot that they cant do it too.

and I do have the friends that I have sat down and talked them through my healthier lifestyle and gotten them to understand a bit better that I am ok and not unwell.

Thanks again for all your help its made me feel more positive and happier to continue.

Lots of love Sue aka Astralhippy (((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))

Ooooh Astralhippy,

The timing of your question and the reply posts couldn't have been more helpful.  Lately I have heard the same comments from so many friends and family.  Just over a year ago, I began this journey to reach a healthy weight and I'm more than half way there....from 317 pounds to a current 179.4 pounds.  Just 34.4 pounds before I reach my goal.   I see that this is something I must continue to do for myself since know what is best for me.   

You look great in your picture.  Keep up the excellent work.  You know what is best for you. 

Dragonrider