its got to be wrong, plz help, soo confused

Hi. I'm new to the site and although I have been browsing the boards for a while.

I really need some help and you all seem to be quite helpful and knowledgable. Please help.

I've never been overweight, but 4 years ago when I was 18 I was quite chubby. I do have a small frame and my hips are larger than the rest of me. I am fine with my larger hips as being bootylicious is all good. However, my proportions were very wrong. I was a size 14 (UK) on the bottom, and a size 10 on top.

I went to uni and trimmed down to a size 8 top and 12 bottom. Now I was okay with that because of my height, but I have like these pouches of fat stuck on my hips, which even if I could've gotten into a 10, those things stick out. This made it to where I had to go up two sizes. I couldn't wear skirts and I felt horrible.

So last year I lived in Central London.

I've always had a problem and an obsession with food. Close to an ED but I was never thin. Anyway, while living out in London I started to not eat for 5-6 days. Then on 1 day of the week, I would have a massive meal 3 times! Throughout the week I'd have like 2 energy drinks maximum a day, and maybe 2-3 glasses of wine at night.

So basically I lost a lot of weight, but those fat pouches never completely went away. They reduced a lot, and I went down to a size 6 on top and 10 on bottom. I was happy with this size.

Then I moved back home, I am now 22, and the weight started coming back. I knew this would happen and I was okay with that until 2 days ago when my hip size started to increase further than my maintained level before uni.

I got so upset, i didnt understand, until after I'd come back, I tried so hard to maintain by eating 1200 a day and exercising at the gym 3-4 times a week burning about 600 calories at a time.

So I think I was starving myself. Although I wasnt. Possibly starvation mode? I was still putting on fat, am I right? Anyway went to the gym Monday again and asked for a program for weights to kick my metabolism as I think I have ruined it now. Now I dont know how many calories to eat. I mean, I've gathered a habit to eat very healthily, I struggle to have 1500 calories. I am a size 12 again and I want to be a size 10. I think that's a US 8 on bottom if not less. I have a plan to do cardio 6 times a week, 5 of those times burning 600 calories. How do I know how many calories to eat as I've only started eating more? I was burning 600 cals before but only eating 1200 cals max. Usually only 700-800. How much do I eat?

I have no idea. I mean I sorted my food diary 4 times. I have so much food and i still can't reach 1500 cals a day. Measurement wise, i'm at 39.5" hips, 24" waist, 30.5" at my stomach. During London I got my hips down to 37.5". As you can see, theres a massive difference. On Sunday, they were 40" and I felt like I was dyin! I'm sorry, it's just me. Please help.

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Sounds like should consider some healthy higher cal foods like nuts or lowfat cheeses if youre having problems reaching a calorie level.  You can still lose weight in starvation mode but who would want to.  You normally want to lose fat but dropping to starvation mode, the body pulls energy from important muscles and if your severe enough necessary body organs. 

The whole reason for healthy dieting is to focus weight loss to fat reserves. 

its hurts my eyes to read all that. you should spell out your words.

You're 5 years older than me, and I can spell better than you.

Haha.

I really tried reading it to give you some advice, but I can't understand half of it...

punjabilicious,
It's very difficult for the average person to read netspeak. If you want people to help you, please make the effort to spell out your words. This is not the kind of forum where netspeak is appropriate.

I'm not sure exactly what your question is. Do you need help getting your calories up? Advice on how to wean yourself out of starvation? Please clarify so we can help :)

If you'd like to increase your calories, eat some more calorie-dense foods, like peanutbutter, cheese, lean meats, nuts, grains, etc. Have peanutbutter on a slice of toast. That will bump you up a bit. Have an extra banana, or a serving or beans and rice. How about granola? I LOVE Kashi's crunchy pumpkin spice flax granola bars... the almond ones are good too! Another way to get extra calories without "feeling" it is to get some protein powder to add to your foods. Make a fruit smoothy in the morning and add the protein powder. Sneaks those extra calories in :)

90% of doing just about anything is mental. If you make up your mind to do this, you will accomplish it. You need to be realistic. Your hips will probably always be bigger than your upper body, it's just the way you're made. Make your goal to be FIT, not thin. You'll feel great, look amazing and it will probably help balance out your upper and lower body, visually.  Let me know if I can help you in any other way!

im confused..i dont see any spelling errors!!

don't listen to that ignorant people, and yeah do cardio 6 times a week eat 1500 cal a day...  that will really help you  to lose weight promise ;)

sounds like you have what I have: saddlebags.

As if being a pearshape weren't hard enough, you have the tops of your thighs being wider than the hips, right?  and not only do trousers look terrible, so do most skirts and just about any dress.

You say you might have had an eating disorder, well I HAVE had an eating disorder (Recovered now) and one thing  it taught me was that saddlebags never go away no matter how thin you get. They get smaller but you can still never ever wear a bias cut skirt without looking like youre wearing it sideways. A-line skirt in a stiffish fabric is about the only cut the likes of you and me can wear. and low rise bootcut jeans work sometimes, maybe. 

Losing weight is not the answer. I was underweight and still bemoaned those blasted saddlebags so now all I can do is shrug and accept them. That's were my body lays down fat. Even when I'm lean they are there.

by all means keep up the cardio and the diet but it won't make the problem areas go away. It's better to focus on being fit and healthy than having a perfectly proportioned body.

From the name you chose it might be you belong to a certin ethnic group. if so look at those women with your same hight and weight and you may notice your body may be normal for your ethnic group. I which case you will have to always have to minimize attention to the feature you find offensive because there is no way short of surgery to change things. A perment wailing complaint to accompany you for the 60 odd years left of your life? Considering what Michael Jackson has done to himself, learning to live with it and always checking out what exercises might finally work for you may be the only good option. Keep asking-one never knows (maybe your idiot genes will relent at some point in your life and not insist on padding you there) You sound normal and healthy enough with your present exercise - do not worry, someone who loves you will never be bothered by what you consider a major fault- 35 years of a partners steady love (met when I was 20) and a daughters giggling and being told my nose is "cute' has put off plans for a nose job for years.