Am I wrong to get upset about this?

This may be a little rant, but I have to get some opinions on whether or not I should be irritated and upset by this.

I graduated high school in 2006 and decided to take a break before going in to college. There were two reasons for this. 1.) I wanted to have some time to save up some money while working and clear my head before college. 2.) I wasn't quite sure what to major in. I recently started going back to school in October, yet I was still unsure about my major. I figured instead of waiting longer and wasting more time, I'd go in with a default major and just work on my general education. I decided I'd go to school with a major in Business Management.

Recently, I've been thinking about a career I would want to get into that would cause me to work nonstop (I love being busy!), help others, and also make a good salary. Then I thought of the perfect thing! Nursing. I always been interested in nursing, but never really thought of it as being a career for myself. The idea hit me and it is perfect for the type of person I am and the type of career I'm looking for.

I went to my mother and explained why I wanted to change my major and what I was going to change it to. I was expecting her to be excited and support me, but I got the exact opposite. She got furious and said that I was unstable and never finish anything. I don't quite understand how it is not finishing anything because I'm only 2 months in to my general education and haven't started my core classes yet. She said that I am not allowed to change my major and am stuck with Business Management. Another thing I don't quite understand is the fact that she is saying this, yet I'm paying 100% for all of my schooling. 

Am I wrong to get upset over this? What would you do in the situation? Also, the decision to change my major isn't a rash decision either. It's something I have been debating for quite a while now.

Thanks ahead for your answers! :)

You have every right to be upset. You are paying for your own education. If you want to switch to something that will make you happy and if its what you really want to do. Than DO it. It's your life.

Well... around here most people don't even declare a major until they are a second semester sophomore (this does differ for a few majors, education they recommend you declare ASAP) or so...

If you haven't done any of your core classes yet and have only been working on the general requirements you haven't wasted any time or money.

I'd say your mom's reaction is pretty out of line.  If you're paying for it yourself, she shouldn't get any say in how many times you change your major etc.  I say if you're excited to do it, go for it.  Nursing is a great calling.

No, you are not wrong to get upset about this!!!!

Did your mother go to college? You need to explain that every major is required to take so many prereq. classes like the maths, englishes, and sciences.  Most college students change their major at least once.  Its really not her place to say anything since you are paying for it.

If you are paying for your own education, then politely explain to her that this is your decision and this is what you want to do with your life and it is no longer up for discussion.

On another note, I think it is great that you found a major that you are excited about and a career path that you will be great at!  You deserve to study and strive for a career that you will enjoy. 

Well, you are right to be annoyed, your mom is out of line. And you are right to follow the path you are choosing, it sounds like you are making thoughtful decisions, and your first couple of semesters is a fine time to decide on a major.

If you are getting upset, though, that is giving your mother more power than she actually has in the situation. Family members know us well, and can easily say things that hurt our feelings. But it is your money and your call.  It is a valuable and very hard lesson to learn to disagree with her calmly and assertively, knowing that she has minimal say in the matter.

OMG you sound just like me! Only I graduated in 2003 and took what was supposed to be a one year break which then turned into 3 yrs when I finally decided enough time was wasted but I still didn't know what I wanted to do so I decided on Business Admin since it's kid of a generalized degree. I did one semester and  haven't gone back, only because I'm a huge procrastinator!

Anyhow on the issue at hand I do understand why you would be upset because you were expecting a different reaction from her but don't let it get to you after all it's your life and she cannot control it.

you have every right to be upset my dear! i mean, you are the one paying the fees right? i'm glad that you've found a major which you're really interested in! i wasted three bloody years getting a diploma in something which i'm not even interested in. D:

niktastic:  If you were my daughter I would be so proud of you for even going to college and then on top of it you are paying for it by yourself.

By all rights you should go ahead and change your major any time you want.  How do you really know what you want to do, you are still so young. 

Number one thing is to be happy with what you do for your career. 

Good luck to you and don't let your mom get you down.  

 

 

I have a slightly different slant...although you definitely have the right to major in whatever you want.  My slant is "she's your mother", wrong or right.  Smile...tell her you're sorry she disagrees with you...but this is what makes you happy and hope she understands. "Most" mothers believe they know what's best for their children and her reaction may be disproportionate to the situation and also unreasonable...but she's your mother!  Love her in spite of herself....and you go for your dream and good luck to you too!

Well, first you might want to consider that you mother might just be concerned that switching your major now might compromise your job prospects later on. Not that this is the case, mind you, but your mom might not be aware of how college curriculums are managed, which is probably why she thinks you can’t change your major.

As for her saying that you don’t finish anything, I don’t know anything about your history, but she may have misunderstood past actions and is misinterpreting what you’re doing as a continuation of something she didn’t approve of before.

That being said, I don’t think it’s wrong for you to get upset – you naturally want the support of your parents. I was faced with the prospect of a college major change, and I got nothing but full support, because, as my Dad explained it (who was footing the bill), “Don’t waste my money on something that’s going to make you miserable.” If you’re paying for all of your education, then it’s your investment, and you have the right to make sure you’re making the correct investment, both in terms of financial return and your happiness. Maybe you could explain it to your mom in those terms. If she doesn’t understand, then it’s a subject that you’re going to have to disagree on, and probably shouldn’t bring up with her anymore.

Congrats on finding your calling – it’s a wonderful feeling to know what you really want!

It is not right for anyone, including your mother, to determine your major for you.  It is your life, it is your major.  Use your head and follow your heart.

Change your major :)

There's a nationwide nursing shortage.  You will never have trouble finding work as a nurse, and will in fact be able to command hiring bonuses and other perks once you've finished school and taken your licensing exams.  Not to mention that you'll find nursing to be a constantly-changing, never-boring, fulfilling career.

Just be diplomatic when explaining the change to your mom.  The above fact (of nursing shortages) is well-documented, and you can look up salaries for your area online, so you can show your mom that you've thought this through and know there's a great future for you in nursing.

Congratulations on figuring out what you want to be "when you grow up!"  Some people never do :)

you have a whole 22(?) years of history with your mom that we know nothing about.  there's nothing wrong with changing your plan - most of us do it repeatedly.  starting a program in october and changing your mind in january might refect a real epiphany for you, or it might be part of a pattern...

if you really think that nursing is for you, go for it.  if you've just decided that business isn't your thing and need a new plan, then maybe you're not ready to be back in school

sorry - i don't subscribe to the "follow your heart" doctrine.  follow your passion, yes; but the heart can be fickle.

If you're paying for it, what do you care what she thinks? Its her opinion and it's non-binding. Its your money, its your life, and it's time to act like an adult.

if you are paying for it, you get to make the choice. The end.

Your mother should be more supportive of you, the career you are choosing has stability, and lets you help others.

Do what makes you happy!

Nursing is a tough career (I have friends who are nurses, and it is hard, thankless, and the hours are grueling - but it is fulfilling regardless, from what I understand) and one with a definite ceiling on earnings, so your mother is probably concerned about your future in the industry.

BUT.

You're a grownup and you're paying for your own education, so although as a mother, she has a right to express her concerns (although it sounds like she did it indirectly and insultingly, unfortunately), you have the right to study what you want to study.  Period.

I think you can be a bit put off by your mom's response, but she is your mom and might know you better than you would like. And maybe she really wanted you to do the Business thing (my mom wanted it for me and I did it..).

Personally I'm not so sure what the big deal is about wanting to know what you "want to be" when you start college. I never knew at the start and I don't know now (graduated in 1985). The thing is yeah, mostly it's just general ed the first two years, so it's fine to switch your major.

You should talk to your mom and find out what the real issues are!

Your mom will come around eventually.  Just be patient with her.  If you really want to be a nurse than follow that path.  Let your mother's doubt be your motivator when you feel overwhelmed (because everyone gets overwhelmed at one point or another in college).  If you dedicate yourself to your studies, your mom will see that you are serious about it and might change her mind.  Just remember, she will always be proud of you regardless of what you do for a living.  You're her daughter!

It’s your decision. I had to change my major after my first year in school my dad was very upset. What I was doing did not make me happy, it made me feel hollow shell trying to please others.  Stand your ground, when they realize you are dedicated and really care about what you’re doing they will come around eventually. It took my dad a couple years.

Go for it change your major to nursing and in a few years when you are making lots of money doing something you love your mom will come around. Mine did when I switched to nursing and now after thirty years I have no regrets. If you really like to be busy and want to help others the the nursing field needs you Good Luck!