XTC2 (Ex-Thick-Chick Club)

Hello all....

This website changed my life. ( : Sounds overly dramatic, but it is true. I hope to look back a year or so from now and think, "I am forever grateful......"  Anywho, I think my favorite part of cc, aside from all the great educational information, is the overwhelming support and friendship I've found here. I guess most of my life I've only trusted and truly befriended a handful of unique women---I hold my friends in the highest regard and do not take camraderie lightly. The women I have met here are seriously my spiritual twins! I always felt very alone in my weight loss journey----no more!

That said, I think my cc girls, and you know who you are, are the best! ( :   My buddies, my pals, my soul sisters =P Chat away to motivate yourself and others! ( ;

~~Olivia

Bye CC Classic :(

We'll ALL miss you. *only an hour and four minutes left, I think*

See you all on the flip side, if I can find it.

I DID IT>    the talk sucked, but I did it. 

I was almost high telling him the truth finally.    He was upset and I just kept smiling. 

There is someone out there for him who is perfect ---  who is like me but likes gaming too, I know there is.....  he is an awesome guy, just not for me anymore.....

I deserve to be happy.    and I am gonna be....   ( :   

Hope your Wednesdays are good ones, girls!!

Hi ladies! 

Olivia~ I'm glad that part is finally over and hopefully the whole thing will be over in a week or two.  There will be some perfect WoW girlfriend out there for him or he'll realize that all of his WoW friends are single because they devote their entire lives to a stupid game and are left to play with themselves and complain to each other about how lonely they are all while playing the life-sucking game.  That's my opinion on the matter.  Those people need to grow up already!  Hobbies are one thing, a video game taking over your life is another. 

Daizy~ yes we will miss CCC but we'll adapt to CC+ eventually.  How is the unpacking going?  Does it feel good to be able to have your own space back?  What happened with the computer and the cable company?

AMEN, abbs ---   he is trying to convince me over email that I am perfect for him yada yada yada.    I am not going for it.  We are going to "talk" tonight, I guess, but man.   How many different ways can I say I am not happy.....?   

Hobbies are fine and dandy -- just the way this one has been. 

Olivia~ Do make sure to spell out to him exactly where he's not fulfilling your "needs" and how he's making you unhappy; calling you names, not supporting your weight loss or any effot for that matter, not sleeping in the same bed as you (am I the only one who thinks this is weird!), not doing anything around the house, the smoking, no effort for b-days or any other milestone, and of course the Wow.  Make sure he knows it's a combo of everything, not just one of the above.  What are you going to do if he says he's willing to change/work on the above and wants to make it work?  Are you going to consider that or no?  This may be the kick in the pants he needs but it should not have had to come to this, don't get me wrong.  I'm not saying stay with him, I'm saying really listen to your heart and follow it but also listen to him too.

good luck and we're here if you need anything!

Boy, after reading Ring's post above me, all of those are excellent reasons for this change. I almost think you could just list them out, just like Abbs spelled it out up there. You deserve so much more than that, O!

I hope the continued talk goes well for you tonight. This is definitely going to take time, because he doesn't understand just how unhappy you truly are/were. And it sounds like he thinks he can fix this somehow....I'll be thinking of you.

RING ~ We're about half-way unpacked, I think. It is nice to have our own space, although I still feel as if I am living in someone else's home right now. I think I just have to get used to my surroundings! LOL I am going to tackle the unpacking of my clothes tonight after I work out, I think. As far as the computer goes, the IT folks say it's fried. They think it was shorted out somehow. I am not getting far with Comcast, but we'll see. It just stinks that I have to buy a new lap top now, on top of everything else. Sigh. When you find that money tree, will you loan me enough for a new lap top, please??!

 

well said, abbs.   I may print that list out to remind myself.....    I am at least taking a break.  I need some time to see what else is out there for me --- and so does he.   He is going to want to work it out ---I know we are going to round and round about that tonight some more.   BUT I at least need a break.....   Maybe if he sees what he had, REALLY SEES it, he'll try harder for the next girl, or yes, maybe me --- a year from now.... . 

ya for somewhat unpacked, daizy -- and if I find that tree, you girls will be the first to know since I will be having a large party and flying all you in for it.  ( :

Olivia~ I think that's a great plan if he insists on giving it another try, take some time to be apart and see where that leads.  I wish you all the best with tonight, I think tonight will be harder than last night now that it's setteled in a little. 

Daizy~ wow, that sucks about your laptop!!  I'd be SO pi$$ed and totally cursing someone out!  I have a horrible temper that way though.  I'm glad you're getting setteled in.  I love the "new home" feeling!  You get to unpack everything and find new cute places for things and rearrange and all that fun stuff!  You get to take totally blank walls and make them yours!  It'll start feeling more like home soon I'm sure!  Is this closer to work for you or no? 

So it turns out it was just a new batter needed for the car, the alternator is fine, whew!!  D got all that fixed this morning thankfully.  And it wasn't the 'new' mustang, it was his dad's beater DC car that we've been borrowing since the accident. 

Good morning!!  It sounds like everyone is having a good day so far! 

Olivia~ I'm glad you're finding some peace in your decision instead of turmoil worrying over it.  It will all work out in the end and you are certainly strong enough to withstand a few more weeks of uncomfortable-ness in order to obtain your long term goal of being happy.

I'm once again sleep but I think I've firgued it out.  It's SO cold in my building I had to buy a heater for under my desk or else I would sit here in layers still freezing and literally too cold to think.  But, I think that *poof* of hot air makes me exhausted!!  So I let it run for a while this morning and now I've turned it off so the air in my office is still warm but the hot air is not enveloping me in exhaustion.  I'll just have to keep playing with it, maybe if it's not directly pointed at me that would help. 

Yay October!!  This weekend I'm digging out my halloween decorations and putting them up!  I LOVE halloween!  I'm sad that we got NO trick-or-treaters last year but whatever, I still get to decorate my housei f I want too!  We'll just go over to his parents house to hand out candy because they live in a development and we did it two years ago and it was fun!  D made his famous stuffed shells and we all had a family dinner before the kids started coming around.  Fall puts me in a great mood!  One of the reasons I couldn't STAND living in FL was that everything was green, ALL THE TIME!  It never changed and I think I almost felt stagnant there.  I need seasons!  I need cold winters to remind me of how good warm summer days feel.  I need changing colored leaves to tell me that it's fall and put me in the spirit for halloween and christmas. 

We've been talking about holidays lately trying to make our plans so our families will know what we're doing.  We're going to my house for thanksgiving because it's at my parents house this year (we rotate between my aunts houses every year).  Obviously I love when it's at my parents house because I get to be home for a few days.  BUT it is still very strange and sad that I will NOT be having fresh apple cider and bread from my cherished Cider Mill that burned down in March.  As far as I know plans are still in the works for them to rebuild, they've torn and cleared the ENTIRE building now and it's just a hole in the ground waiting for the new construction which was put on hold because it needed to be rezoned after 120 years etc.  But the guy who bought it really is trying to rebuild the icon.  I was SO afraid he was going to just say screw it and not rebuild.  It's been in one family since it opened in 1896 and just two years ago did they finally decide to sell because the current owner was just too old and tired to run it and no one else in the family wanted to run it.  So we were all nervous when the new person came in but they did a great job at continuing the business just the same until the fire.  But I still cry a little when we drive by and the reality hits me again that it's gone.

Ok, I really gotta get to work!!

) :  sad about the cider, abbs .   YAY about the car though....   

Thanks for all the support   ----from all of you.     ((((HUGS)))  I need it. 

daizy asked about my trip for Halloween -11/2....  going to STL.   to see a friend...     ( :      hope they like my costume...    ( ; 

Oh, how could they not Olivia??! You're going to look fantastic in that costume!! I can't wait to see photos. I have no idea if we're doing anything for Halloween this year. Last year we went to a costume party, but I've not heard those friends mention that they were going to do it again this year. We were told by our new neighbors that we get trick-or-treaters, but only kids from this complex. So J asked the neighbor if they had any candy requests since it was going to be local!! LOL

And O, I am so proud of you :) You really are doing amazingly well with this big upheaval in your life. I am not the least bit surprised, though :)

Ring ~ I can't find my halloween decorations! LOL They are in a box somewhere in the basement....I hope I can find them before it comes and goes....LOL Sorry about the cider and the mill. I hope he does get it rebuilt so the tradition can continue. Sounds pretty cool to me. Our new place cuts my commute down by about 20 minutes, I think. So that's good! Although I have been late every day this week because I cannot find clothes in the morning. I really need to get my act together and unpack them all. And I'm still angry about the computer. We're trying to figure out how to get them to take responsibility, but so far nothing.

I hope you are all having a good afternoon! My day has been filled with phone calls of people complaining - in fact, I have three complaints to get out to this afternoon :P

I'm trying.....    I hope he is not justgoing through the motions of trying to show me he still deserves me or whatever.

If that's what he is thinking, he is sadly mistaken, but he is also in denial (on of the five stages of grief) --- next is anger.   EEK    pray for me

I want SO BADLY to see what is out there for me in STL.   we shall see.... 

Olivia~ I feel like I should know what STL means but I can't remember! 

Daizy~ good luck getting unpacked this weekend so you get to work ontime!!  I REALLY need to re=organize my closet to get the winter sweaters out and the summer clothes away and it's just a mess! 

I think this weekend we'll go to grandma's and we're both pushing for it to be Saturday early morning so we can go and get it over with.  Then Sunday will be an ENTIRE day of laundry and probably organizing beacuse seriously 85% of our clothes are dirty and on the floor already!  So that just leaves the clothes that need to get put away for winter or that we don't wear and need to be stored for skinnier days or given away.  Either way it's gotta get organized because I can't take it like that much more!

I just got out of a meeting so now I have action items to take care of so I should get going!

St Louis, girl.   ( :

good morning, sexy ladies!   ( : 

hope all of you are well and happy.   I woke up STARVING, but I am in such a good mood, who cares?   

I know it's sick and wrong and smug and mean, but I am happy. 

There are so many things I am looking forward to now....    I feel like a weight, an oppressive,  man-size weight, has been lifted from my shoulders and my mind and my heart, and I can finally breathe again.     It's going to be rough to get through the next few weeks, but I feel........  vindicated?     rejuvenated?   what's the word I am searching for?   not sure there is one with enough connotation to truly depict my emotions......   

Self challenge for the weekend -->  do not sit around bored like usual.  I can go find something to do alone and have fun --- even if it is just go to mom's and get a sweing lesson and have dart my pants.   ( :   

Hope your Fridays are rocking awesome!!

Yes  Yay olivia!!!!!!  Craft fairs are starting up, look for some in your area and take your mom!  If she sews, she probably enjoys walking around them.  I love em, you get TONS of ideas and see a lot of things you can do yourself for half the price!  And now you have time to do them.  Maybe you will find a new hobby you enjoy!

I'm in a great mood because it's FALL!  The leaves on our tree are turning, the air is cool and crisp and it just SMELLS like fall!  I threw an extra blanket on the summer bedspread last night but it's not quite cold enough for the winter bedspread yet, but soon!  Probably when we get back from Fl. 

I'm here at work and D surprised me with McD's.  Not healthy at all but such a nice gesture I couldn't be mad at him, he's so cute sometimes! 

I'm SO ready for Fl!!  It's all I can think about lately!  What to pack, what to wear, what to bring, will I fit into my dress?  I really wish I had lost a spectacular amount of weight before this trip but I didn't of course, I actually gained.  But you know what?  I've been to the gym at least 2 times a week, Wii Fitted or played Wii every single night since we got it, tried to eat healthier and generally tried to be good so I am not going to feel guilty!!  I feel fat, but not guilty which is a weird feeling.  I feel guilty for the pancakes and hashbrown I ate this morning and the pasta I'm going to have for lunch and dinner tonight, but not for the last of working out.

Well, I gotta get to work, chat with you all later!!

I second that YAY Olivia!! I actually don't think it's wrong for you to be happy - even if it is because of the end of a relationship. Sometimes people are only meant to be part of our lives for a certain length of time, and that is OK. And endings are not easy, but new beginnings can be very exciting and it is absolutely FINE for you to be happy about it!!! I think that helps illuminate how right this decision is for you at this time. I hope you have fun this weekend with your Mom! And I wish I had a Mom who could take in my pants - you are SO lucky, girl!

Ring ~ I can't wait to go to FL either! I am fully ready for a break from my life. I hope we can meet up! That would be so fun! I'll send you my mobile number at lunch-time when I have more time on here. I think the only day we may overlap is Tuesday. That was SO nice of D to bring you breakfast :) And it is hard to be upset by his choices, because his heart was in the right place. Besides, I didn't think Mcd's pancakes were that bad calorically. And you know what? It all has to fall into place eventually. You are working out a lot, you are watching what you eat....what else can you do? Guilt is not productive in weight loss ;)

OK I should get to work too....see you at lunch!

yay for all of us being in positive moods today ---   ( :

 

let us toss some of those good vibes to jess....    love, you girlie. 

 

Wishing peanut would check in tell us how she is.   (  :  actually -- where's val and everyone else too?  

Yes, sending lots of positive and healing vibes to Jess!!

I know Val signed up for Girl Scount with P and I'm sure there are other after-activities to keep her busy.  And of course I'm sure she's helping with LilPeanut too!!  But I hope she comes back soon beacuse she always has tons of pics!!

Daizy~ I'm wondering if Disney will be closing early to set up for any halloween thing at night.  But that might be just Islands of Adventure, they do a scary Halloween horror Nights.  The one year I was still in school D came down to visit me in FL (he had already gotten a job in MD and moved home) and I bought us tickets to that.  It was GREAT!  Scared the pi$$ out of me but it was SO fun!  They had "zombies" walking around with REAL chainsawn (no blades of course) and they'd come up behind you and rev them right in your ear.  I screamed bloody murder!!!!  After that I learned to look behind me A LOT and be much more aware of my surroundings!  Anyway, they closed the daytime park early to set up for that at night so I wonder if Disney does the same type of thing.  I have a feeling we'll end up at the Magic Kingdom because I don't think he's ever been there.  When I get your cell I'll call you soon so we can maybe plan something although things always change on vacation and I totally understand that!  so if it happens awesome, if not, another time!

TOTALLY don't want to work today!!!

Wow - I think I missed a lot the past few days while I slept away.  I haven't slept that much in forever. 

I still feel kind of crappy, but I am doing much better than the other night.  I learned a lot from this experience, as I also had a few people upset with me for not calling them to come to the hospital with me.  But notheless I am surviving!!! Hooray for that!!! 

Olivia - I am so proud of you for having the "Talk" with J, he should of thought about all of this ages ago, when you tried to bring them up.  But how long does a girl have to remain unhappy <--- She doesn't have to at all. 

I am teaching myself this on a daily basis.  The past 2 days I was sicker than a dog, couldn't really even get out of bed and B didn't get home until 5 AM, nor did he even call me to find out how I was doing.  I feel like it was a huge slap in my face for reality.  A huge slap in the face. 

In the meantime, my friends were calling and calling to make sure I was OK, even one friend (the guy that is going to Iraq next month) called me to check on me numerous times through out the day, and last night even called to ask if he could bring me anything, he said "Do you want some chicken noodle soup baby" of course this is at 10PM, I kind of laughed and said thanks anyway, but I'll be fine. 

Speaking of him, I gotta admit, I sorta like him girls... We've become pretty close over the past 3 months, and he has been showing me what it feels like to be cared about, I know how horrible that sounds, but it's true... That makes me a horrible person huh?  Oh yeah and he is super super adorable too...  I really like him - but I know I can't like him...

For numerous reasons, first I am a married girl (sure not emotionally, but legally), second because I don't want to end one relationship and be in another, third because my sister would have a fit, fourth, he is going to Iraq, very soon.... Ugh!!! Help!!!

But I am thinking if I could get my life in order in the next year (while he is away) and things are meant to happen, we both will be in a better position to have a relationship when he returns right?  Is it bad for me to even think about this????