too young to know if you are bi/gay?

there was this girl in my class who came out as bi at 13 and a lot of people were saying that she was too young to know.

i was just wondering what others think of this,is 13 too young? or is there an age where you know?

thanks :D

some people know much earlier than that; some don't figure it out until well into adulthood.  depends on the individual, the culture (family, ethnic, religious, etc.), and lots of other factors.

then again, a 13-year-old girl who announces that she's bi may be troubled and looking for the wrong kind of attention.

I'm pretty sure I knew when I was 13 that I liked boys - that's 7th or 8th grade, right? If I remember right, I had my first crush when I was in elementry school. So why couldn't a 13 yr old know that she likes boys and girls?

If you're old enough to have crushes on boys, then you're old enough to have crushes on girls, or both.

I've known I was bi since I was about 8 years old. I didn't know what "bisexual" meant. I just knew that I would get crushes on males and females equally.

I was aware of sex when I was 6.  I saw glimpses of my first dirty movie when I was 7.  I got ahold of my first pornography novel ("borrowed" from a neighbor) when I was 8.

It was during that time that I realized that I liked thinking about the girls as much as the guys.  I didn't know what bisexual meant, but I knew that women could like women, and I knew that I liked women.

That's just me, though.  I think it's safe to say that a kid who is old enough to be aware of themselves as sexual beings is a kid who's old enough to know whether or not they're bi-- even if they don't know the word to describe it.

With that said, whenever I refer to my daughter's future, I tell her, "When you have a boyfriend or girlfriend..."  I'm letting her know early that it's okay, whatever she decides.

thanks for replying so quickly! your comments are really helpful :)

It's very very common during puberty for heterosexual girls and boys to have crushes on people of the same sex... adults as well as people their own age.   Rather than automatically meaning someone will go on to be gay or bi as an adult it's often just immature but intense emotions sorting themselves out.   Children that age also get irrationally passionate about popstars they'll never meet...  They need to experience this phase and almost 'rehearse' the feelings of being in a relationship before they embark on the real thing. 

i don't think that's too young at all.

13 would have been too young for me...but perhaps at this time she's equally drawn to both genders.  Sexual wants and needs to change over time and with experience, so at a later point in her life she may prefer one gender or the other or just prefer some aspects of various people's personalities/attitudes.

The first time the thought of liking girls came to me in 7th grade in chorus class.

Never really thought about it till I was 16. Then after coming to terms with myself, I declared I was bisexual. To myself, of course (kinda live in a conservative part of the woods).

And I've been rather happy since.

13 is not too young. That's usually hormones are raging. Yay middle school. x3

I heard of a 4th grade boy who knew he was gay. I don't think there's an age limit or anything, but you should be careful who you believe - especially if it's a teen girl saying "bi". May just be looking for attention. I know when I was in high school practically all the girls were saying they're bi just to get attention.

thanks for replying :D

i agree and quite a few people are saying that it may be for attention but i was just wondering what attention

we went to an all girls school so it cant have been from boys

i've known i was bi since 7th grade. so i was twelve. its quite possible. some people are more in tune with themselves than others.

interesting question (:

I remember realizing I was attracted to girls when I was about 12, but raised christian and all, I wound up self-hating and obsessed over guys I would've only been slightly attracted to, because dammit I was NOT going to be gay. These days I'm smitten with both equally, so a lot of good that did me. Looking back it might have been better to have just been honest with myself (or anyone really) like that girl was. Maybe nothing as dramatic as "coming out" at that age, though.

too young..?  i don't think so at all.  i mean, many children (myself included) play at "boyfriend/girlfriend" at a elementary school age-  kind of rehearsing, like someone else said.  so i certainly think that rehearsing for a non-heterosexual relationship pattern would be just as appropriate, even earlier than age 13. 

Original Post by attinew:

thanks for replying :D

i agree and quite a few people are saying that it may be for attention but i was just wondering what attention

we went to an all girls school so it cant have been from boys

 I went to an all girls school and I remember a few friends of mine and I used to say we were bi, we really thought it too.  Now all but one of us are straight guess we grew out of it and one is a lesbian.  We all enjoyed the attention we would get from being a hot gossip topic  because all the other girls would talk about us, and when we would go to coed dances with the all boy school they all gave us attention but of course it was the wrong sort of attention.  Anyhoo, it is never too young to have those feelings, but feelings can change overtime and a person that thinks they are bi may turn out to be bi, straight, or lesbian. 

Original Post by amethystgirl:

I'm pretty sure I knew when I was 13 that I liked boys - that's 7th or 8th grade, right? If I remember right, I had my first crush when I was in elementry school. So why couldn't a 13 yr old know that she likes boys and girls?

Because you probably didnt consider having a sexual relationship with them at that stage. Crushes are one thing, sexual orient is another.

Im 15 and Im not really sure of my sexual orient yet as I used to be sorta heterosexual but because of my bulimia Im kinda asexual now. Not sure if you can cure asexuality.

well said, jneilson-  personally i believe sexuality is fluid;  it changes all throughout your lifetime.  that includes/can include your sexual orientation.

i think that with an all-girls school, many find it easier to find themselves and work themselves out without having to worry about boys and being attractive.

so i think coming out that age is fine, and they may mean it or they may not, but some do.

You are not gay or bi...These are choices that people make either because they are confused or in many cases abused.These choices are more prevelent these days because of Hollywood and others promoting this activity as normal,which it is not.If you have girl parts you are a girl and naturally that means you were created to someday be with a man, built the way he is to be with a girl.

This is the natural order of things and notice the post you have gotten are from those who have made the choice to go against the natural order of things... Misery loves company!!!

Please put this unnatural act out of your mind and be a kid as long as you can without worrying about sexual things.You are to young to make a life changing decision like this.

Original Post by wormyeyelid:

Because you probably didnt consider having a sexual relationship with them at that stage.

Why not?  I can tell you that at age 13 I knew girls were nice, but I liked boys better.  And I experimented with both to some extent.