If you're a nonsmoker, would you date a smoker?
I'm just wondering. I have a friend who has a guy interested in her who's a smoker, and she said that she's not sure she could stand kissing someone who smokes, and the health risk, the smell, etc. Im not sure what I would do if I were in that situation myself.
No.
The guy can be the hottest most charismatic thing walking, but if he smokes, no amount of looks or charm would overcome my aversion.
No. Been there; it's not good.
Smoking is pretty much a complete deal breaker. The only way I'd date a smoker is if he never smoked around me. Never in the car. Never in any house or enclosed place. Oh and I wouldn't want to have to wait inside somewhere by myself while he was outside smoking. He'd also have to brush his teeth all the time.
I'm married, but if I was single I don't think I could? The smell alone...eurghh...
no.
My boyfriend started out as a smoker, but once he noticed how much I disliked the fact that he smoked, he quit--and I didn't even say he should, nor did I ask him to or anything. I'm not sure many guys would do that, but I think it's dumb to push someone aside just because he smokes. But that's my opinion. My boyfriend has made me happier than any guy I've been with before, and I would have regretted to lose the opportunity to be with him just because he smokes.
But, then again, ignorance is bliss, right?
I always said I would never date a smoker. Majority of guys in Korea smoke and I only have two Korean guy friends who don't. The guy I'm seeing now smokes. He hates my lip ring. I hate his smoking. I'm sure he'd like it if I lost some weight, too. :shrug: He puts up with my faults... I'll put up with his.
If your friend doesn't think she can date this guy because he's a smoker, then she should tell him why she can't date him.
Original Post by jennifer24747:
My boyfriend started out as a smoker, but once he noticed how much I disliked the fact that I smoked, he quit--and I didn't even say he should, nor did I ask him to or anything.
That is so totally sweet, and your boyfriend should be commended for it.
However, smoking isn't just a personal bad habit - it's a health issue for those around him as well. It's not a shallow criteria when you're talking first impressions. If you can live with it, great, if not, then any pretense is what would be shallow.
It kinda depends on the smoker and more specifically their smoking habits. I'm a lifelong non-smoker and I have dated smokers in the past and it can work but it is an issue. It's not ideal but it doesn't have to be a deal breaker if they are conscientious about it and you are a bit tolerant. But it definitely can be a deal breaker. So, like I said at the top of the paragraph, it depends on the smoker.
I work at in tobacco research and actually worked at the CDC doing tobacco related analyses when I met my husband and he smoked. I wouldn't let him smoke around me, he had to brush his teeth afterwards, and he knew I didn't like it. I didn't push him to quit, because I know what it takes to get someone to quit and pushing doesn't help, but he eventually quit on his own. So, yes, I would date someone who smokes as long as they are respectful about it.
Yeah, Ali, that's why I said smoking is pretty much a deal breaker. I've dated a couple of smokers in my life. I can overlook it, but I'd rather not. But I always make sure they know they can't smoke in my house or in the car (even if it's his car) while I'm in it. I can't stand to have my clothes reek of smoke.
No way. Never have...and now I'm married, so I never will : ) Secondahnd smoke used to put me in the hospital as a child...I have very negative thoughts for smoking.
Original Post by moonikins:
Yeah, Ali, that's why I said smoking is pretty much a deal breaker. I've dated a couple of smokers in my life. I can overlook it, but I'd rather not. But I always make sure they know they can't smoke in my house or in the car (even if it's his car) while I'm in it. I can't stand to have my clothes reek of smoke.
It hasn't been an issue so far. He knows he can't smoke in my house. Smoking is allowed in all restaurants and bars here so if he isn't smoking, I'll still smell like smoke regardless. We walk or take public transport.
I hate hate hate smoking. He asked me what I didn't like about him and I told him it was him smoking that I hated. I can't force him to quit and it's too early in the relationship to even ask him to do so. If things continue and become more serious, then I would broach the subject.
date, maybe; get serious, nope. if i was really attracted, i'd try, but i know i couldn't stick with it. i think initially i'd be able to set is aside, but if the relationship was going anywhere, it would become an issue very quickly.
My have we become the scourge on society! I would just like to point out that way back when I started you were the scourge if you didn't smoke, fashions change and now give the non smokers an inch and they will take the proverbial mile down to even complaining at us standing outside to smoke, nicotine is more addictive than heroin for those of you who don't know and isn't just that easy to give up as I know all too well, but to refuse to have anything to do with me because I smoke is judgemental segregation! and I am sure I have seen many of you on previous threads claiming not to be judgmental and indeed pulling others up for it.
I can't stand alcohol, i hate the smell, the taste, being around people who are drunk but i wouldn't not have someone in my life just because they did like to have a drink.
LOL I just saw this and had to comment. I would not date a smoker (I am a non-smoker). My current boyfriend, however, loves a good cigar from time to time--and this past friday was one of those times. He dragged me to this cigar bar and UGH!! All the servers were women in these tight red dresses. And it made my favorite warm--but cute--sweater smell like smoke. And in the morning his breath was so foul I just told him he cannot be anywhere near me until he does a thorough teeth brushing and mouthwash!
I'd say...give him a date! I quit smoking when I met my boyfriend, and it is one of the best things I have ever done. I wanted to quit, but it really is hard without some motvation. Maybe he wants to quit and needs the right person to support him! One date won't hurt, but it is really up to her!
Original Post by andie-joe:
My have we become the scourge on society! I would just like to point out that way back when I started you were the scourge if you didn't smoke, fashions change and now give the non smokers an inch and they will take the proverbial mile down to even complaining at us standing outside to smoke, nicotine is more addictive than heroin for those of you who don't know and isn't just that easy to give up as I know all too well, but to refuse to have anything to do with me because I smoke is judgemental segregation! and I am sure I have seen many of you on previous threads claiming not to be judgmental and indeed pulling others up for it.
I can't stand alcohol, i hate the smell, the taste, being around people who are drunk but i wouldn't not have someone in my life just because they did like to have a drink.
what if your being around a drunk person caused you to smell like booze and experience the effects of intoxication too? then would you hang out with them?
(nothing personal. certainly not judging you. i just won't tolerate the smell, taste or potential negative effects on my lungs and skin)
My ex actually smoked throughout our entire relationship while telling me to my face that he'd quit for me. I didn't find this out until several weeks after we broke up! Anyhow, I'd greatly prefer not to date a smoker because of my gut reaction to the self-destructive nature of smoking. I suppose I view anyone with an addiction as fundamentally weak, which is a horrible opinion to have, I know. It's a bit like people who want to date within their own religion only, just because of personal upbringing and ingrained belief. I don't want to date someone I can look down on in any way.
I don't have a problem with my friends smoking and they can even do it in a car with me if they crack a window. It's not the smell that bothers me, though with contacts in my eyes get all red and watery from too much smoke.
