You're quiet!

I am a pretty introverted person. I prefer small groups to large ones. I am pretty quiet unless you are a close friend of mine. That is just the way I am. So in public I am fairly quiet but this has never bothered me because I have always had a few close friends and I am happy with myself the way I am. But every now and then someone I barely know will say "Oh,  why are you so quiet" or "You should talk more!" etc.. That drives me nuts for some reason. It's not like I go up to people who talk a lot and say "Why are you so loud??" haha

Does this bother any other "quiet" people or am I overreacting?

I know exactly what you mean.  I will take a small group of friends over a crowd of people anytime.  There is nothing with having quiet moments.  Some people understand the way I feel.  The other thing that drives me crazy, is when somebody walks up to me and says "smile". 

I think loud ppl just dont understand quiet ones they think they somehow offended them perhaps and that is why they are not talking. Quiet ppl always seem so bored and uninterested at times especially at parties and it makes us loud folks feel like we did something wrong and pissed them off somehow. That is a loud persons take on it anyhow.

Overreaction. However, chances are if someone you barely know says this to you, then chances are they are interested and want to get to know you better.  It could be their way to opening a new relationship with you.

I'm the same, but that doesn't bother me when people say that. However, many others I know that are like us seem to get annoyed. The only reason they say that is because THEY are uncomfortable. When you're quiet they think something's up -- either you're upset or it's them that's getting to you. I wouldn't sweat it. I think it doesn't bother me because I don't see this as a flaw in my personality. People tend to think it IS a flaw but they are wrong!

Just think of something witty to say back to them. "Why are you so loud?" is a great comeback. I always say "I speak when I have something to say." I actually read in a book (about sensitive and shy-like people) that it's a good idea to try to alleviate the other person's worries by saying something like "Oh, I'm just relaxing" or "I'm just taking in the scenery," (or whatever else you can come up with that might be soothing) because others really DO take it personally. And if you/we don't want to be so uncomfortable, we should let them know everything's ok. Maybe then they'll leave us alone. haha

You probably feel offended by this because it feels like somebody is judging you. Really, why should they care? If you really think about it, it's just THEM (like I said). :)

Oh stanbob, I get the "smile" comment ALL the time it drives me nuts!! I mean did someone say soemthing funny? I just don't think it looks normal for people to walk around smiling all the time. However, now that I'm in this BeautiControl business that I have to be more outgoing and approachable I'm trying to work on it.

I'm a naturally quiet person myself but after I get to know you I'm very outgoing. That's why if you ask most people I know if I'm quiet they will laugh in your face! I feel really uncomfortable in a crowded place where I don't know anybody. It takes A LOT of courage for me to talk to strangers but slowly I'm beginning to change all of that because I want to change. I want to be the kind of person everybody knows and likes. I mean I know NOT everyone is gonna like me but most everyone. Anyhow I'm rambling now so yea.

I agree with junrau, maybe this is their way of saying "talk, so I can get to know you better"  I wouldnt be offended, I'd be flattered.  :)

Although, I'm like Angie, a loud person in general.  I talk loud, laugh loud, and boysterous, and extremely outgoing, so I dont know much about being quiet! :)

Hmmm I guess I never really think about it from an outside perspective because I don't know what it's like to be the loud person that is around the quiet person. I am completely content but I can see they might think something is wrong or that I may seem uninterested. I usually respond with "that's just how I am, don't take it personal" or something. I also feel like some people point it out as if it is a flaw in my personality or something and that is why it bothers me. But it is true that in the end it doesn't matter what other people think and that's something myself and most people need to work on!

sarah - dont look at it as a flaw... its just how you are... just like you said.  :)  

I don't think it is personally. But I know some people do. The trick is not letting it get to you and not caring what they think. Which is where I think I struggle.

I also really hate it when people say that to me.  I mean they act as if it's some abnormal thing to not open your mouth every second.

i get that ALL THE TIME. another thing that gets on my nerves is "smile!! why don't you smile?" i get that mostly at work. i'm sorry if i don't have a happy face while bagging someones groceries or standing at a register. i do smile at my customers and say hi but i guess its wrong that one isn't plastered on my face for my whole 8 hour shift. i guess my relaxed face is a pissed off one. but definitely people do ask me why i am so quiet. i guess i just don't have a lot to say. but if i do have something to say then i don't have a problem holding it back.

I am really shy around people I don't know. I hate it when the drunk girl at the party comes up and says, "YOU'RE SO QUIET! ARE YOU OK?" Yes, I am fine!!!!

I don't get offended at the quiet comments, although I do think it's weird- I mean, I don't start conversations with "hey, look, you have a goatee" or "wow, you sure are blonde!".  I DO get really annoyed with the "smile" from total strangers...what if my mom just died? I just got called about a problem with my  mammogram? I have a migraine and am concentrating on not barfing? How would a stranger know that? If I was better at alligator tears I'd be tempted to turn on the waterworks and start blubbering nonsense about 'the biopsy'.  That'd show them....

I  use to get the same comments when I  was younger. Both the smile and your so quiet. I don't get that so much anymore.

I really enjoyed reading all of your posts.  

That's the way it is... Most quiet people spend time their time thinking while many talkative people just brainlessly babble. 

My daughter is a thinker and I am the babbler  :)

Phft.

 Yeah.  Plus, don't hate it when someone tells you " Speak up" "Talk LOUDER "  Your voice is so small....  "  " It's like you're whispering all the time, even when you do talk. "


Why is it that the people with the 'BIGGEST MOUTHS' always have the 'SMALLEST BRAINS'........???

By the way, if you don't mind. Is the B for your middle name or last? I have a little sister named SarahB ( Beth. ) It'd be kewl if you had the same name. Heh

the B stands for my last name!

OMG i know exactly what you mean! i'm a shy, thoughtful person and people always used to ask why i didn't talk very much. it used to drive me to tears on some occasions because i always perceived it as a criticism. i hated myself for being a quiet person :(. oh and another annoying thing was that when i met new people, they often thought i didn't like them just because i didn't say very much.

i'm not quite so shy anymore, have become a lot more outgoing and am consequently so much happier.

vmcbutterfly- lol i get the "why are you so sad/depressed?" all the time too! apparently, i look grumpy and depressed when i'm relaxed. the worst is when my close friends ask me "what's wrong? are you ok?" lol it makes me wanna scream at them "geez, don't you know me by now?"

i personally love shy people! i'm especially attracted to shy guys. i think they're really cute and so much more pleasant than loud, macho idiots :)