"You're So Skinny."

Does anyone else have friends and family look at you and go "You're so skinny," and you just kind of stand there unable to respond because you have no idea whether it was meant as a compliment or an insult? I hate that and it seems everytime someone says that to me they're subtly saying "you're too skinny, and you look anorexic." Is it unreasonable to feel just as bad as if they had been calling me fat? Because everytime someone says it to me in "that tone" it makes me want to run and find the baggiest clothes possible and just hide in them. It really hurts my self esteem. Does anyone else feel this way or am I just overreacting?

Also, when people say, even jokingly, "So, aren't you eating anymore?" I don't know, but it just always feels like their making a joke at my expense and it stings whenever it happens and leaves me oh so flustered, any advice?

I've  been naturally slim all through my childhood and into my 20's and I completely understand. It is very hard to tell, there is a fine line between a sort of admiration and insult. When I used to get the "you are so skinny" comments I would be completely offended, but now I've bulked up a little bit and I don't get those comments anymore, I sort of wish that I still did! Its hard not to be the "skinny" girl anymore, so take it for granted and just understand that while it usually sounds like an insult, inside the people are most likely just trying to make themselves feel better. I don't know why people feel they have to give skinny girls a hard time, I want to say sometimes- would you go up to a heavy girl and tell her to lay off the food? Or tell her you are so heavy?

Another thing that I noticed today is that when you go buy anything "Health" or weight loss related and you are already thin, people look at you funny!! I bought a scale today and the lady at the register eyeballed me!

It's bad manners to comment on anyone's physical appearance really.  'Skinny' is a perjorative term.  'Slim' might be more flattering.  Either way it helps to remember the old advice.... "Sticks & stones can break my bones but names can never hurt me"

Are you actively trying to gain weight?

I am currently about ten pounds under the minimum healthy weight for someone my height, age, etc. So, yes I am trying to bulk up, but only just a small amount, and mostly just muscle building.

It is not necessarily an insult.  Have you ever asked other people what they mean when they say you are "skinny?" 

As a family member, they could just mean that you look sick.  Are they just supposed to ignore that?  If you had a cough, they would say "you sound sick."  If you were pale, they would say "is something wrong."  If you were limping, they would say "did you do something?  Why are you walking like that?"  It's their job as your family to be concerned and to do something about it.

okay, i'll play with this one.  how tall are you, your age and your weight ?  is it in w/in the healthy range (18.5 is still the low end of the healthy BMI)? 

It appears that you admit that you're 10 pounds underweight. 

Not being technically underweight (18.5 BMI) this is what I have run into:
people have only seen me one size - BIG.  now I am "little".  i used to be offended and question myself.  not anymore.  i stand up for myself and state the obvious - "you're just not used to seeing me this size - little". 

Pfffft!  get over yourselves!  one day, I swear I will reply with "yeah, I decided to put down the twinkies and ho-ho's and picked up a habit of eating fruits and veggies, you should try it".  : )  have a nice day ~

I get that a lot too and completely understand you.

It gets really annoying and I don't understand why they feel the need to mention it every single time they see me.

Its definitely not a compliment in my eyes as I know they don't mean it as a compliment either.

people just have no concept of manners. quite right, its rude & very annoying. i find people do that a lot about everything little thing. i have some people comment on my being a vegetarian (even tho im a pescetarian, i try to explain the difference), then because i like to try new foods, people will comment on my food while im trying to enjoy it. just want to slap them.

& now that i've lost weight, everyone keeps saying your perfect, as playergirl stated, they are just not used to seeing me a smaller size. my dad would comment over the phone about how he hopes im not getting fat!

or im not a bread fan & at work we had lunch bought for us. all sandwiches, why would i want to waste my calories on white bread that i dont like. anyway they made a nice joke about my going off to eat bird food!!!

i would sometimes get 'slagged' about being american too (i live in eu) & they think its funny & all right. like if i started the saying the same thing about any other nationality, i would be called a racist or something.

thank you all so much for your comments, it's nice to know i am not the only one, and that i am not being unreasonably bitchy or taking it too personally or something. Reading all of your responses has been a real boost, both in confidence and in morale. thanks so much!

omg i totally understand!!! i hate it when people say to me is that all u r having while i have like a ton of food. and i also hate it when people look at my food!! it drives me nuts!!!

I totaly understand what you mean...I get it All the time...and its sooooo annoying. Sometimes it pisses me off sooo much . I know I am skinny, but I dont need for people to remind me that 10 times a day. My mom is always on my back telling me to eat...I know she cares, but sometimes it gets too much....and I wish there was a way for me to tell her, without hurting her feelings, but I guess that doesnt upset me as much as when other people who i dont even know tell me that ur sooo skinny.

And since I am new here, it feels good to know that I am not alone.

i had this problem today - it's summer, and i've lost quite a bit of weight since january (30-35 lbs), and i saw a lot of people who i hadn't seen me in a while. i had a jacket on, but i took it off, and one of my friends was like "omigosh! where'd you go?" and then there was a little girl i know, who was like "you look way skinnier!" and i kind of awkwardly said "well, i am....." and then she kept saying it over and over, and THEN after i put my jacket back on i went to go stand in a circle with some of my friends and one of them was like "did you get skinnier again?"m all of this happened, no joke, within a span of 10 minutes

yeah, i know i'm skinny. must you point it out every 10 seconds? at first, i kind of liked the attention i got for losing weight, but this is ridiculous. i'm dreading going back to school - everyone's going to think i have and eating disorder or something.

I completely understand what you mean and no your not over reacting. You have every right to be upset. My family is from the Carribean, everyone loves to eat so I get picked on all the time. All of the women in my family are very curvy & full figured, even some of my younger cousins are bigger than me, so I stick out alot. When I'm hangin out with them I hate walkin past stores like forever 21 because they would say things like Gosh they need to make some clothes for some real women with real bodies,(I know right as if I don't have a real body!), but Erica you should be able to fit something in there (laughing). Its frustrating alot because I'm 23, 5'5, and 122. The crazy thing is I love food, especially desserts. I think I eat enough but I hardly gain weight. Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm just paranoid about my body or is it something I need to be concerned about. Because my cousins always tease me about having a big butt, but I don't see it. I'm working on liking the way that I look everyday. I would'nt say that I'm really skinny, because I do have hips and maybe a little butt however I just wish my arms could be more toned and my legs weren't so weird lookin. But the next time someone says something like that to you just tell them that is does bother you & if its wrong to tell someone bigger that they need to stop eating, it hurts just as much when someone tells you that you need to eat.