But you're so skinny...

Does anyone else have this problem???

When people see me with my snack bag or concerned about the calories in the food I'm about to eat - they say... "But you're so skinny - you don't need to worry about that!" 

I'm so sick of hearing that.  Anyone else?

The problem is that it is REALLY hard to tell the difference between healthy and disordered from the outside.  Even in this thread there are a few I honestly would say are being unhealthy by losing weight - who do NOT have an accurate body image... 

Then who is right?  The concerned onlooker or the person themselves.  The answer is different in every situation.

Original Post by allisha:

Does anyone else have this problem???

When people see me with my snack bag or concerned about the calories in the food I'm about to eat - they say... "But you're so skinny - you don't need to worry about that!

I'm so sick of hearing that.  Anyone else?

 I hear this also.

I consider myself healthy maybe even a few extra punds (5'4-5'5 125lb). I am very conscious of what I eat and I eat often 3 meals 2 snacks. It really bothers me when people make comments about me counting calories or watching what I eat. They almost make me feel like counting calories is an unhealthy habit.  It is very discouraging because they often try to talk me into eating all the junk we have laying around like just have one doughnut. I get this from family a co-worker or 2 and my boyfriend. What can I do or say to let them know I am being healthy but I just want to be aware? I don't want to eat whatever junk they hand to me to prove it!

its so frustrating! I get that all the time.. the other day some of my friends wanted to get some mcdonalds, (and personally I was completely turned off that stuff after watching supersize me, and I vowed that I would never eat it again!) so when they pulled through the drive through I just said no I'll get some else later. And then all my friends starting nagging me, complaining that I should stop worrying about calories and fat and all of that stuff, and I tried telling them I just don't like fast food, but clearly that wasn't a good enough reason. It just bugs me sometimes.. just because I like to eat healthy and my friends don't, doesn't mean I am judging them or criticizing them for eating it, it's just a choice I make for myself, because it makes me feel good. 

Original Post by morrighu:

I think that reason you get that sort of reaction when you're thin is because there are so many who have hidden eating disorders.  Anorexia and Bulemia don't exactly come with a glowing label on the forehead of the person suffering from it.  You're friends are trying to be kind and reassure you.  Either they're afraid you have a secret eating disorder, or they're afraid you'll develop one.  It's very symptomatic of the "Barbie Culture" we live in.   

I would say that you should take it as it was meant - a kind, reassuring comment - and leave it at that.  Be happy that they care, even if it's not quite in the right way.  Maybe you could start to educate your friends on why you eat like you so that you look like you do.  Then maybe they'll learn that healthy != eating disorder.

2 cents,

M.

 DITTO

I haven't ever gotten "but you're so skinny", but I've very often gotten "But you're not technically overweight, you're fine," "You don't need to lose any weight, you wouldn't look good skinny". Ha! And it's not like I'm a big person- I'm 5'0. I'm pretty petite.. Technically I'm not obese, but what's wrong with wanting my outside to reflect my inside? To look the best that I can while I'm still young? To look and feel better about myself? It's like I don't just want to be healthy, I'd like to be in the best shape that I can and be totally confident about my looks and be able to wear a bikini.

There's this online forum where we post what we eat and weigh-ins and whatnot and several people were like "Why are you still losing weight? You weigh so little!" and I was like "Do you know how tall I am?" and posted progress pictures and they didn't say anything lol because it was pretty clear I still had some weight to lose.. People don't understand short people! I feel like I should just post my BMI instead of my weight so they can understand.

As someone who just recently got on the diet/exercise train and who has been dispensing similar comments throughout his life, they need to be taken at face value.  Which means at least two things.

1)  They look at you at see somebody who body shape looks fine and doesn't need to loose weight.

2)  They probably haven't made the connection between your current body weight and diet/exercise habits.

But let's emphasize point one.  A study* published in early 2008 actually concluded body image had a bigger impact on health than BMI.  Thats not to obesity does not come with health problems (it does).  That is saying people should not invest self confidence in their body image.  So when I tell somebody they don't need to worry about "dieting," what I'm really saying is "I don't see anything wrong with you physically, so your self confidence must be compromised."  Of course, I haven't thought through, so point 2 applies.  But really, whenever I see a girl who appears to have a normal weight complain about being fat I want to scream YOU LOOK FINE, BE HAPPY ABOUT IT!

*Link to the study abstract: http://www.ajph.org/cgi/content/abstract/AJPH .2007.114769v1?maxtoshow=&HITS=10&hit s=10&RESULTFORMAT=&author1=muennig&am p;andorexactfulltext=and&searchid=1&F IRSTINDEX=0&sortspec=relevance&resour cetype=HWCIT

Link to a Slate article which discusses study 2nd page: http://www.slate.com/id/2184475/ 

Ugh...this absolutely kills me.  A friend of mine who I haven't seen since the winter was talking to me online after looking at my pictures from prom.  She kept saying things like "You used to be my size, and now you're little!  We need to get some chocolate into you!"

No.  I don't care if you're insecure about your size, I'd like to stay the one I worked so hard to achieve.  Same with the "Seriously...one slice of pizza/cake/cookie won't kill you, you're already so small."  Sure, but for me, one slice turns into three, and makes me feel gross to boot.  I'll pass.

Post moved to new thread

yeah I'm sick of it..I feel like telling em:"Do u feel  too slim or why the heck would u eat those chips/burgers/any unhealthy ****"

SO FRUSTRATING!!!!!

My mom keeps telling everyone how little I eat, and how I dont eat her foods anymore and that im becoming anorexic!!!!

Yesterday at a family lunch, my aunt and mom asked me about my eating patterns .. I told them that I still wanted to lose 15 pounds.

My aunt freaked out saying that I would turn into bones, and that im becoming anorexic!!!!!! Shes like theres no way you weigh more than 120!!

I told her how much I weigh and she didnt even believe me!!!!!!! UGHHHHHHHHHH just leave me alone !!

This is the reason why I don't tell anyone that I am losing weight.  When I lost my 40 lbs. a couple of years ago, all I got were these type of comments and I felt trapped.  This time I vow to myself that it will not effect me like that this time.