If you've got a second..help and mini dump.

First the second for help...

Just posted a journal with a banner link in there if you gals wouldn't mind clicking it.  I'd really appreciate it more then I can explain.

Last thing I want to do is spam the group but I'm stressed out about life in general so winning at one thing right now would really help me out a lot.  It sounds silly but being able to walk away from something a winner would be that one ray of sunshine in an otherwise black sky.  It would help me get past a theft with replacing my ipod shuffle (1st prize that I'm barely holding onto) since I can't afford to do that myself.  Someone stole mine from work before I was let go and since the break room didn't have cameras there was no telling who did it and I was out of luck. 

The link in my journal credits me 1x a day per computer and my lead is getting pretty narrow.  I usually get bumped out at the last minute and I see that happening again =(  It's a promotions thing to get people to enter a "Rock Band" (the game) contest and there's 8 days left to get entries in.  Prizes for the main contest are really cool too if you know someone that plays.

And now the dump

I'm amazingly stressed right now.  I'm emotionally eating again back to 150ish (scale broke) and none of this is helping me.  My husband's grandfather passed away and it's been really difficult on all of us but he was able to get to the funeral for closure.  My son is named for him (so is my husband and father-in-law) so the guys were all very close.  My girls not so much since they spent last summer with my family and missed seeing him now that they are older.  

My father just went through surgery last week (permanent catheter) and while he's sounding a lot better (and happier) his cost of living in assisted living just went up again.  He and my mom are finally settling in there and I'm scared over how the added cost effects them staying at what they're getting used to.  My mom is a stroke survivor and she gets very set in her ways so getting her to accept this was "home" has been an uphill battle.  Moving her again isn't something that any of us can handle, let alone her. 

I can't even plan for next week myself without worrying over what extra costs will pop up with my parents.  It's like watching something get ready to explode in slow motion and still not being able to anticipate the blast.

My freelance is doing ok.  But ok isn't enough and pushing for something Anywhere isn't getting it done either.  My husband just took his final required paperwork over to the Army and this is where things stand.  We served once so doing it again, granted different branch, isn't that odd of a thing.  It's a chance to support ourselves and put money back away since we've had torrential downpour, forget rainy days. 

I lost my future with my Dad's management (rather his lack thereof) with money and what little they have left after fixing all the debt they had is paying their assisted living costs.  Until that money runs out they pay full costs and when it runs out the state is supposed to pick up costs.  I've heard bad things about people having problems with the transition between so I'm trying to get ready for that.  It's going to happen in less then 5 years now with the hike in costs with more required care so I'm really scared.

Going back military, honestly, I'm not going to find anything that pays me anything close.  If you go off a 40 hour work week.... I'd have to make $22 an hour to equal what I'd be getting from base pay and allowances in the military.  My husband is 1 rank higher, so he'd be looking at $26.  My last job, I had to fight tooth and nail to get $7.42 an hour.  Depends on living on or off base since housing allowance gets you more money to pay rent/mortgage and varies on geographic location... but either way there's nothing here or close that we've applied for that competes with that salary.

There's downsides, sure.  Deployment, separation, stress during those times, and sometimes standing duty and working longer hours... but... honestly at the end of the day it's the best thing for the family.  Nothing new for either of us and I guess being there, doing that and long since burning the t-shirts leaves me more at peace then some would be at the prospect. 

I'm scared over what the future is with my parents... mom just broke a hearing aid and even with the insurance plan on those it's still going to cost at least $350.  Every time you turn around it's something else.  Forget the fact that cars and college are coming in the not too distant future with the kids and my savings is toast from this rough patch. 

Need to win the lotto.... I guess right now we all need that huh?  Family agrees with me, amazingly, and they're supportive.  Just wish the stress could level off and things could just start turning around.  Still have my interview in a couple weeks, sales are enough that if I can get a little more I'll have the gas money.  So it could be a turning point, but there's so much "what if" I need that solid reassuring backup.  Military is that.  4 years or 10 from now I know my paycheck will be there.  Can't say that about any other job right now.

*HUGS* I'm sorry that you are having to deal with all of that. It will sound really cliche' and cheesy, but things WILL get better-- unfortunately I can't say it won't be a hard stretch before then!

Sounds like the military might not be a bad option for you for now. I truly wish you the best of success (not luck--success-- because if luck was what did it for us, we would ALL win the lottery!)

I will click your link when I get to work. I just checked in here really quick this morning and I wanted to reply right away so you wouldn't think that nobody was "listening."

Hang in there!

Thanks so much.  And nope it's not cheesy.... good reminder that it's going to get better.  Gets hard to remember that sometimes.  Hanging in there does get really hard sometimes and I think it's worse when extended family and friends aren't exactly there for you and question every move.  He's doing the right thing, both of us are because it's the only way out from this on our own.  His friends and family aren't there and I worry that I can't be enough of a cheerleader.

He's stressing on his run time, and I am too now because of the nasty truth I found out today.  The parks dept lied to me (3 people too) saying that the outer loop of our track here is 1/2 mile.  I clarified each time that they did mean the track, not the road... and it didn't include the small loop around play equipment.   But, measuring distance showed that it's only 1/4 mile a lap.

I'm way worse off then I thought.  Little unnerving.  I have 20:30 at a max to run 2 miles.  I'm pacing about 12 minutes right now for 1 mile.  He's at the same pace but guys sadly have to run faster, so he has a max of 17:42.  Worst thing you can do is be anything close to your max time.... so 19 would be acceptable for me and 16 for him.  Not going to be pretty in 1 month.

I have more time then he does, starts the homestretch going to meps on the 19th of Dec.  So 1 month and a few days to get his time down.  No telling if he'll have to run that day or not but being prepped just in case is a wise idea.

I guess if life was easy all the time we'd never learn anything.  Just hope that we've been through the worst of it and have paid our dues and can start having a better life.