What you've had to unlearn from childhood.

Replies to current topics typically fuel new ones for me, so if you're getting bored with me, ignore me for a bit until my focus strays further.

We all had different environments growing up. And habits learned as a child can be some of the most challenging to overcome (even if you logically know they are incorrect). So what did you learn as a child that has been a hindrance to your weight goals? How have you changed it?

My childhood 'lessons' that I no longer follow:
- I have to clean my plate

- Diets are a few miserable cranky months to get ready for swimsuit season

- After a long day, the fastest appropriate meal is pasta from a box

-The first step to dieting is getting rid of everything unhealthy and stop socializing anywhere that involves food. You can not resist it.

- Exercise is work

- Diet foods are gross.

- A tablespoon of vegetables on your plate equals a balanced meal

EDIT: DISCLAIMER (how did I forget this): I am in no way blaming my, or anyone elses parents for my/their obesity. I am not stating my(or anyone else's) parents were 'bad.' Just that some of habits I (and I assume others) learned in childhood have required undoing in the quest for a healthier lifestyle.

I have yet to unlearn the "cleaning your plate" thing. As a child I was made to sit at the table for hours until all the food was gone even if I didn't like it or whatever. Now I still find it really difficlut to leave food on my plate. I just give myself smaller portions but need to try harder to leave food for when I eat out or at friend's houses.

That's really the only food related thing, I was lucky in that we always had fresh, healthy, balanced meals cooked for us and our family was very active.

I also learned that parents do not always know best, nor can they always look after you. Rarely, in fact.

There's only one method to prepare anything:  deep fried.

I too grew up with the motto, "you have to clean your plate."  I don't think that my parents taught me bad habits.  The did what they thought was best at the time, and besides, we were too poor to waste food or be fussy, what they preached at the time was right at the time.  I was never a fat kid, that has happened since i left home.  I believe that to successfully lose weight you need to take responsibility for your own actions.  There are a million and one reasons for being over weight and just the same amount of excuses of people to blame.  I am the person who made me fat, i had nothing to stop me and an income to pay for it.  I'm 100 percent responsible for it getting there and i'm responsible for getting rid of it... if i ever do.  Oh... did i mention that it's also cause being big boned runs in my family...

misscherryjane, I also have major issues in the exact same department.. It`s so easy to master portion control at home, but when eating elsewhere, leaving a clean plate behind is a bad habit I have yet to kick. Especially if someone else has done the cooking and they feel that the more you`ve eaten, the more it means you enjoyed it.

In addition to what was stated, I no longer think that:

- veggies are not filling, and thus optional in a meal

- I`ve had enough to eat when I can barely get up from the dinner table

- the quicker I eat, the better

- if something tastes great, I must have seconds and thirds

- I can and should snack on whatever I want, whenever I want, as long as I clean my plates at meal times

- everything must be slathered on a sandwich

- a salad should be very small, about 1/3 the size of a meal

- dessert must be the size of a meal or larger

misscherryjane: I have the same strategy. I always give myself small portions, and when I'm done eating at a restaurant I move my half-full plate as far away from me as possible. Maybe I didn't get over the 'clean plate' bit as much as I avoid it : )

jenningermany: are you from the south too? deep fried or covered in cheese and baked are the only cooking techniques you need : )

mrsunderstood: I certainly wasn't implying that I blame my parents, I hope it doesn't come off that way. Maybe when I was 15 they had something to do with it, but its all me now : ) We were also poor and a large family so most meals were things easily bought and prepared in bulk. Fresh veggies need not apply. Anything mixed with pasta is in.

ily: The seconds! the thirds! like thats supposed to be the most appropriate compliment for a meal.

- Eating small portions is rude. People who are grateful eat large portions.

- If its "healthy", you can eat as much of it as you want. It won't make you fat because it's "healthy"

- If its the "diet" version of something, you can have extra servings

-Being fat means you're rich

-You can eat whatever you want as long as you excercise

There are so many I had to unlearn, I'm probably just too tired to remember them. Hahaha.

Original Post by minda_spk:

jenningermany: are you from the south too? deep fried or covered in cheese and baked are the only cooking techniques you need : ) 

Yes, I am.  South Texas.  Covered in cheese is the only alternative to deep fried.

I have to do the opposite, re-learning what we used to do when I was a kid! Breakfast in the morning, fruit for snack, no big dinner. I still eat lots of fruit and veggies but I added some errr, extra like chocolate and bread to it.

Original Post by pochahontas:

I have to do the opposite, re-learning what we used to do when I was a kid! Breakfast in the morning, fruit for snack, no big dinner. I still eat lots of fruit and veggies but I added some errr, extra like chocolate and bread to it.

 

I'm kinda the same in that at home we used to eat meals and some fruit during the day and that was it. Once I moved out I used to eat and eat and eat whether I was hungry or not! And we never had junk food, mocrowave dinners, sweets, chocolate etc at home but obv I could buy what I wanted when I left home and did! Now I'm keeping nothing unhealthy in the house and only eating when I need to

1) Despite technically having something in it from every food group, pizza pockets should not be considered a healthy option.

2) You don't actually have to clean your plate, the leftovers can be kept in the fridge.

- 2a) There is no one lurking surreptitiously nearby waiting to punish you, should you refuse to finish your dinner.

-2b) You don't have to eat the home-made, stomach-churning, mayonnaise-laden slimy ground salmon-and-onion cakes.  Really.  You can just tell mum you don't want them, thanks.  She'll survive the heartbreak.

3) Coca-cola is not a good substitute for water.

-3a) Caffeine is not breakfast.

-3b) Neither are pop rocks, even if they are awesome and turn your tongue blue.

4) You should buy the cereal for the nutritional value and not for the toy inside of it, even if said toy is a decoder ring (sometimes I still have trouble with this one)

5) Lima beans and peas are for eating, not for use as hilarious projectiles

6) Cookies are not meal replacements

-6a) Even if dad said so

Original Post by nomnom:

1) Despite technically having something in it from every food group, pizza pockets should not be considered a healthy option.

2) You don't actually have to clean your plate, the leftovers can be kept in the fridge.

- 2a) There is no one lurking surreptitiously nearby waiting to punish you, should you refuse to finish your dinner.

-2b) You don't have to eat the home-made, stomach-churning, mayonnaise-laden slimy ground salmon-and-onion cakes.  Really.  You can just tell mum you don't want them, thanks.  She'll survive the heartbreak.

3) Coca-cola is not a good substitute for water.

-3a) Caffeine is not breakfast.

-3b) Neither are pop rocks, even if they are awesome and turn your tongue blue.

4) You should buy the cereal for the nutritional value and not for the toy inside of it, even if said toy is a decoder ring (sometimes I still have trouble with this one)

5) Lima beans and peas are for eating, not for use as hilarious projectiles

HAHAHA thisd cracked me up!! I never see cereal with toys inside anymore, no fair. I don't know what pop rocks are but anything that turns your tongue blue is surely worth the health risks?

Original Post by misscherryjane:

HAHAHA thisd cracked me up!! I never see cereal with toys inside anymore, no fair. I don't know what pop rocks are but anything that turns your tongue blue is surely worth the health risks?

Precisely; if it makes noises in your mouth, turns your skin different colours, or makes you incapable of sleeping for the next three days, it's got to be good.

Okay, I have the cleaning the plate one too. We grew up poor and if you didn't finish your plate it was wasting.

Also:

-you should leave the table feeling "full" or "stuffed"

-diet pop has zero calories and is therefore a substitute for water

-the cheapest, not the healthiest, food is best.

CONSTANTLY have to remind myself of these untruths.

I do sort of blame my parents, but they were just doing the best they could for me.

I was an underweight, sickly little kid and my parents were constantly pushing food on me.  My mother would put half and half on my cereal.  I was praised for eating and scolded for not eating.  I developed a big appetite, ate a lot and never gained weight except for normal growth. 

I stayed slim in my adult years, gained a lot when pregnant then lost it without dieting in the year after each birth.  I actually never got fat until menopause when all hell broke loose.  The pounds just piled on and I tried all the fad diets, Weight Watchers, Nutrasystem, you name it.  I'd lose weight then get discouraged and gain it all back plus more, all the way up to 225 pounds. 

I had no idea how to eat.  I thought of diets as temporary to lose weight, then I'd go back to my old habits.  I'm glad I found CC and finally learned how to lose the weight and keep it off for life.  It took me 3 years to lose 50 pounds - 25 to 30 more to go.

So, yes, it's my parent's fault.  Things learned in childhood that I had to unlearn:  Butter is good for you - the more the better.  Cream is good for you.  Bacon and eggs are health food.  Second helpings are great.  It's ok to eat a lot of pasta. 

-  The most important part of your holidays are where and what you ate...

-  No party is a party without tables groaning under the weight of all the food on it...

-  You cannot have a good time without good time food i.e. high fat, high sugar, high carbs food...

-  Eating veggies slathered in melted cheese with cheese sauce still counts as a veggie portion...

-  Eating steaks the size and thickness of telephone directories is quite normal...

-  You show your love for someone by feeding them, they show their love by indulging in the food.

I'm still finding it extremely difficult not to overindulge during happy times in my life!

• I do NOT have to finish my plate
• Pop/Soda is a treat, like cake or cookies
• I don't have to eat bread with a meal to fill me up 

• Just because the (insert name of any sugary-unhealthy-overly-sweet-crap here) is in the house doesn't mean they should all be eaten right now. My mom would only buy sugary cereal/snacks once every 3 or 4 months, and my sister and I would race to eat it. I've had to teach myself as an adult that the sugary-crap will still be in the pantry tomorrow if I don't finish it tonight.
• Love/family/fun/togetherness = FOOD
• Macaroni&cheese is a meal

Things I unlearned:

- Junkfood is edible (I mentally removed the food part, so now it's just junk. I live with people who eat junk all the time. When I open the freezer and see pizza rolls and ice cream and what not, I don't even notice it anymore. I wouldn't eat trash, and I've got no appetite for junk either.)

- It's unfair that I was fat (I didn't seem to notice back then that it came as a trade-off for eating huge fast food meals 2 times a day, in-between my frozen meals, sodas, and sugary snacks. It's no longer a mystery how I got to be obese before.)

I actually do pretty much always clean my plate, but because I only put an amount on my plate that I plan to eat in the first place. My family can attest that I have polished off some terribly huge plates of veggies and meat in my time. But I find that it's just easier to prepare exactly what you're going to eat beforehand.

I do think that habits formed in childhood are the hardest to change, any "stress" tends to send me right back to my "comfort zone" habits (and I am 52).  Ask Mary had a funny response to the question how long does it take to form a good habit -- she said "forever". What I took from that was that if I want my new lifestyle to "take" it will take some mindfulness for the rest of my life.

For me, the best way to form a new habit is to do it regularly, preferably every day.  Floss, every day -- no decision.  Exercise, every day -- only decision is what and how long.  Eat small portions, every meal-- regardless of what I eat I am training myself to eat less of it than I used to.

The good news is that the good habits from childhood are just as strong as the bad ones!  Honesty, hard work, love of learning, humor are just a few of the great habits my parents instilled in me.  So, it's not just the love of good food that stuck.

Hehehe, this was fun...

Let's see:

• Holiday meals should not contain veggies as they are only filler and leave less room on your plate for butter laden potatoes, gravy, stuffing and all the other important foods of the season.
• If veggies do happen to make it to the table during these feasts, they MUST be swimming in Cheez Whiz!
• Macaroni and Cheese(cheez whiz) w/ hotdogs is a healthy meal if you add cauliflower and brocolli to it. But more cheese must be added to coat the veggies and hide the taste. -I still shudder at this one.
• All accomplishments must be celebrated with a selection of your most unhealthy favorite foods!
• Hot dogs are a staple food and can be eaten multiple times a week as they are a "protein" - I still can't convince my father that hot dogs are not good for you!
• food is love
• it is okay to eat whatever you want as long as you enjoy it...
• diet food means that you can still eat the same amount of calories as the full cal/fat version, but this way, you get to eat more of it! YAY! uggggg
• a salad is something you eat because you know you have to lose weight, but putting a half bottle of ranch on it, makes it edible.
• when on a diet, veggies are a "free food" you can eat as many as you want and don't have to count them! and the dip that you slather them in doesn't count either I guess?