My 10yr olds concerned with thigh jiggle!

The influencing begins...

At dinner last night, my daughter, who's 10, told me that she wants to be just like me and was copying what I was doing with my dinner. (I was taking the coating of my piece of cod).

Later that evening we were having a discussion about weight loss, and the right way to do it. We talked about how much I had lost in a few weeks, and she was 'oh but on Biggest Loser they lose that much in a week'.

She was then complaining about how much 'jiggle' she has in the back of her thighs, and was comparing herself with the other girls in her class. Most of them are the tall willowy types with 'slender' muscle, whilst my girl is more well built and has inherited her mothers big thighs. She exercises regularly, has a good diet, and even goes to a special gym class with a friend, aimed at kids her age to get them using the weight machines, and improve fitness.

My question is, other than what she's doing already for her muscles, is there any other exercises that she can do that would either actually benefit the back of her thighs or just encourage her to feel like she's doing something about them? I know the 'jiggle' is normal, but try explaining that one to a stubborn 10yr old lol, she's really fed up with the whole 'eat healthy, and exercise, that's the best you can do' and 'everyones built differently,you just happen to have the perfect muscles for hill walking around here' things I tell her. I know she'd feel better about herself if she was doing something to 'target' that area.

Thanks guys!

This post makes me very, very sad.

It makes me very very sad too :(

When I was 10... I wasn't bothered about none of that stuff! I just played outside alot and went bike riding and ate what I liked. I have always had bigger thighs. I'm short and well built. Definitely not willowy.

The best thing for thighs and thigh jiggles, i have found, is squats. Squats, squats squats, lunges, lunges, some more squats and squats and squats, squat squat squat squat and so on. And stairs.

Look up some decent techniques of squats and lunges online aswell as variations on the squats. Like kick squats, side leg lifts with squats that kind of thing.

Though - for a 10year old. Oh dear. It's such a shame. I don't think she should be getting so concerned with a particular body part and being so negative. It's an awful shame. Maybe doing some squats will put her off obsessing over it. (Just thinking of doing them makes me tired out!! Haha!)

Best of luck helping her out.

Thanks for this.

My personal aim is for overall health and fitness, rather than to lose weight or to target a 'problem' area. So I'm trying to catch her with that. She's definately up with her fruit and veg intake lately.

I know I'm her main influence, so hopefully I can catch her with this too.

I guess all I can really do is teach her the right way of doing things, and maybe she will get bored from all those squats lol

I think it's healthy to want to, well, stay healthy, no matter how old you are. However, if it becomes an endless obsession, then it's a problem. As a 10 year old, I sometimes thought about healthier eating and toning up, but it didn't comsume my every thought.

Then again, I eventually ended up with an ED. This could be a serious thing, but it's not a reason to go crazy and start diagosing her with anything. Just make sure she knows what's really HEALTHY and what's not.

I would stop talking about weight loss and watching (and letting her watch) shows like the biggest loser. Start talking about healthy eating, for HEALTH not weight loss. You shouldn't let her hear you talking about how much you've lost or about being fat or anything like that

I think you should read this

Mom's Dieting Habits

and really think about what you are doing to your child.  Give her a chance to grow into her body and stop discussing weight and body shape.  Just make sure she's well nourished and gets healthy exercise that isn't extreme. 

The only answer to give her when she asks about jiggly thighs is - there's nothing wrong with your thighs.  You have beautiful legs and I love you.

I remember being 10 y/o and taking a swimming class for school.  I was nervous that first day of swim class because I had gotten it into my head  that I was fat.  Looking back on it now, I wasn't fat at all, but I remember during those years having this weird compulsion to find fault with my body... like it was my duty to measure up every little piece of myself against perfection.  Maybe it has something to do with my mom, who never ever has been happy with the way she looks (she has spent the last 25 years of her life - at least - wanting to be skinnier).  I remember being a very average-sized teenager and feeling like it was almost a rite of passage - I needed to start dieting, to start wanting to be skinnier...  I wanted to look like a fashion model.  Thinness and frailty were literally the epitome of feminine to me at the time.  It's completely scary when I look back on it!

I tend to agree with misscherryjane - if you can put an emphasis on health when your daughter asks you about your weight loss, by all means, try it.  Introduce her to those squats - feeling powerful works wonders for self esteem. :)

She's about to hit a rough time.  The type of psychological crap kids can inflict on each other in middle school is such a shame, looking back on it.  Does she play any organized sports?  If not, maybe you could encourage her to get into soccer, softball, etc.  Putting the emphasis on what your body can do and not necessarily how it looks might be theraputic for any body issues she's starting to develop.

I agree with above suggestions of not talking about dieting. It's a negative and she will pick up on it.

I remember as a teenager feeling resentment to my mum every now and then when she was dieting. Like she was rubbing it under my nose that 'we' have to be perfect. I was pretty slim anyway.

Now my mum is super supportive and hasn't said anything about my shape. She did say I looked good when I lost some weight before. Then again I've never really been overweight.

My dad is different and just tells me when my belly is sticking out. I can take it now because I am the same, but as a teenager it was different. But like i said, I was skinny till i moved out (and to a different country).

So don't focus on toning. Perhaps she is picking things up at that class she goes to with friends. Just playing sports and running around is best for kids. I did ballet and cycled a lot, then played field hockey.

Original Post by sweetigem:

My question is, other than what she's doing already for her muscles, is there any other exercises that she can do that would either actually benefit the back of her thighs or just encourage her to feel like she's doing something about them?

The best thing she can do is to go outside and play.

wow, i cannot believe this post.

your preoccupation with your own weight and diet obviously has a huge impact on your daughter... you are ultimately setting her up for various self esteem issues and potential eating disorders

when I was 10 I never thought twice about my weight... this is very disturbing to read that someone that young thinks about this stuff

what you need to do is STOP talking about weight/food/calories/dieting and everything related to it around her. Don't tell her that losing weight is "good" or makes you "better". Don't put these thoughts in her head, and stop with the eating behaviours around her... children are greatly influenced by their parents, (this can be good and bad) but if you continually cut out foods and pick at things, she is going to pick up on this and begin to think that this is normal and (X) is bad for you, so dont eat it.. blah blah blah. This can lead to malnourishment and irregular growth. KIDS NEED CALORIES TO GROW

I can't believe that you actually asked how you could help your 10 year old lose weight/thigh jiggle!! there is so much wrong with that, i don't even know where to start...

She probably doesn't need to be watching the Biggest Loser. Maintain a healthy household where health is understated but always there and love and FUN is what she overtly sees and feels! Leave your adult/personal problems with body image AWAY from your daughter. I'm sure you are not trying but children listen and mimic their parents.  She is about to hit the preteen stage..the most common stage for eating disorders to show up.

Original Post by carmenxox:

wow, i cannot believe this post.

your preoccupation with your own weight and diet obviously has a huge impact on your daughter... you are ultimately setting her up for various self esteem issues and potential eating disorders

when I was 10 I never thought twice about my weight... this is very disturbing to read that someone that young thinks about this stuff

what you need to do is STOP talking about weight/food/calories/dieting and everything related to it around her. Don't tell her that losing weight is "good" or makes you "better". Don't put these thoughts in her head, and stop with the eating behaviours around her... children are greatly influenced by their parents, (this can be good and bad) but if you continually cut out foods and pick at things, she is going to pick up on this and begin to think that this is normal and (X) is bad for you, so dont eat it.. blah blah blah. This can lead to malnourishment and irregular growth. KIDS NEED CALORIES TO GROW

I can't believe that you actually asked how you could help your 10 year old lose weight/thigh jiggle!! there is so much wrong with that, i don't even know where to start...

i completely agree and cannot believe you actually asked this.  you need to keep her away from weight loss shows.  stop talking about weight in front of her.  guess who she's copying?  you.  don't tell her any foods are fattening or bad, because she's not going to be able to learn to use her hunger and fullness to determine when to start and stop eating.  guess what that sets her up for?  yep, an eating disorder, which is something that will haunt her for the rest of her life.  you need to stop picking at your food, so she doesn't pick at hers.  when you talk about weight and saying whats fat or that you're fat, she gets the idea that the fat on her makes her somehow flawed.

instead of letting her go to a gym class, put her in a sport that doesn't revolve around weight (aka cheerleading, gymnastics, dance).  she'll learn teamwork, build self-confidence, and get stronger.  it'll be about her performance vs how she looks.

Original Post by tennislove98

instead of letting her go to a gym class, put her in a sport that doesn't revolve around weight (aka cheerleading, gymnastics, dance).  she'll learn teamwork, build self-confidence, and get stronger.  it'll be about her performance vs how she looks.

Children that age should not be doing weight lifting or going to the gym, it's bad for her growth and her muscles could easily be damaged.

She's 10 years old!!! She hasn't even hit puberty yet. Little girls usually have a little pudge here and there until they grow into their bodies.

10 year olds use weight machines!? When I was 10 I was in dance classes, karate, soccer, I think I even took swim once or twice. I never used a weight machine....

Original Post by jblarghp:

10 year olds use weight machines!? .... I never used a weight machine....

Nobody should be using a weight machine - they force even an adult body into an unnatural position, much more likely to put unnecessary stress on joints. Compound that with taxing still-growing joints... recipe for disaster. I don't care if they are special weight machines built for kids - it isn't a good idea.

From my experience - when I was a kid, I liked to ride my bike. Til my dad made a comment that I should ride it more, because it was good exercise (mind you, I was not at all overweigh, yet he somehow made me feel like I was verging on obese, like him). Exercise?? I didn't want to exercise! I wanted to have fun, get moving, go visit my friend without needing my parents to drive me.

And to sum up.... ditto what the others said.

Original Post by misscherryjane:

Original Post by tennislove98

instead of letting her go to a gym class, put her in a sport that doesn't revolve around weight (aka cheerleading, gymnastics, dance).  she'll learn teamwork, build self-confidence, and get stronger.  it'll be about her performance vs how she looks.

Children that age should not be doing weight lifting or going to the gym, it's bad for her growth and her muscles could easily be damaged.

Which age is that? 'cause age 6 is about the recommended lower age limit for weight training accoriding to Dr. Lon Kilgore, professor of Kinesiology at Midwestern State and director of the Midwestern State University Strength Research Laboratory.

 There's a lot of harmful myths floating around about children and strength training and they're all based on tooth fairy science where the initial presumption of harm from strength training is not even wrong.

 I don't pretend to understand the challenges of being a parent; but I do know that Sweetigem is doing a damn sight better than most by asking for help in figuring out an appropriate response instead of just going on with the generational transfer of body dysmorphic disorder that is the standard response of the perpetually dieting mom. So lay off the attacks, huh?

I'm incredibly sad that your little girl actually sees her thighs as jiggly...at 10 I remembering doing that bathing suit trick where you suck as much air into your stomach and then let it out so you look pregnant.  Stupid body humor like that.

I distinctly remember at 17 thinking that my stomach was jiggly and it was significantly flatter than it is now, so I know that it will hopefully pass.  There's not a whole lot that I can see for you to do other than to be frank and blunt when she asks questions.  I'm sure she's getting it primarily from other school children, so just being honest is probably the best course.

Original Post by melkor:

Original Post by misscherryjane:

Original Post by tennislove98

instead of letting her go to a gym class, put her in a sport that doesn't revolve around weight (aka cheerleading, gymnastics, dance).  she'll learn teamwork, build self-confidence, and get stronger.  it'll be about her performance vs how she looks.

Children that age should not be doing weight lifting or going to the gym, it's bad for her growth and her muscles could easily be damaged.

Which age is that? 'cause age 6 is about the recommended lower age limit for weight training accoriding to Dr. Lon Kilgore, professor of Kinesiology at Midwestern State and director of the Midwestern State University Strength Research Laboratory.

 There's a lot of harmful myths floating around about children and strength training and they're all based on tooth fairy science where the initial presumption of harm from strength training is not even wrong.

 I don't pretend to understand the challenges of being a parent; but I do know that Sweetigem is doing a damn sight better than most by asking for help in figuring out an appropriate response instead of just going on with the generational transfer of body dysmorphic disorder that is the standard response of the perpetually dieting mom. So lay off the attacks, huh?

 No. This is not about physical fitness.  As a personal trainer, we will not even train children under the age of 12 and then it is sports specefic. Melkor, I have agreed with almost everything you have posted..with and without exception..but in this...no way. NO WAY should a 10 yr old be talking or concerned about jiggly thighs!!!!! Oh. My. Gosh. AND, the method to go forward with that is NOT by teaching her ways of training. No, sir! This is more of a psychological question and answer... unless the child is morbidly obese and her health is being compensated! Remember, being fit is a way of life...a 'fit family' have children that don't even realize they are eating whole wheat spaghetti...they don't realize that their soccer game just did a world of wonder for their quads and burnt a ton of cals! It's a frame of mind..a way of life..especially for children!!!

Oh, I wasn't suggesting that she get her daughter to take up strength training as a means of dealing with it, I was just debunking the notion that children shouldn't lift things.

 There's no good exercise strategy for dealing with what is a purely mentl problem which is why I'm specifically disclaiming knowing anything about being a parent and just telling people to not attack Sweetigem while making suggestions for how she deals with the issue. specifically, they shouldn't be calling her a bad parent for asking for help when it would have been a hundred times easier to just ignore it or facilitate it by giving her daughter advice on diet and exercise.

Hi there. I'm new here and I just had to respond to this post. I just celebrated year 3 of being eating disorder free, after having suffered from bulimia for over 18 years of my life. You're in a really understandable position, especially these days, where kids are bombarded by images of "thin" and fashion even more so than ever. At school, on the internet, on their ipods, phones, you name it. Celebrity gossip has infected our kids and it's now "news" when someone gains weight. Kids are dieting as young as 7 and they're not just learning it from their moms or families. It's everywhere. Shows like Biggest Loser certainly don't help, however, I rather like the show now that I am in a healthy place. I think it's pretty well done. So there you have it, it all has to do with what state of mind you are in.

I remember the very moment in time when my mom smacked my butt and said "You better watch it."  That was the day I became conscious of my body in a weight-oriented fashion. That was definitely the tipping point of when I started my first diet. But, where did I order that diet from? A fashion magazine. Who did I order it with? My sister.

So what is the magic formula? There isn't one. Just be really loving to yourself and your daughter. Tell her how amazing she is. If she's really focused on her thighs, let her try squats. Hopefully she'll get bored and move on to something else. Try to heal your own tendencies to obsess, and be an example for your daughter. Thighs are thighs. Some jiggle, some don't. It's just life. And with any luck and a TON of laughter, love and understanding, you and your daughter can free yourself from negative thinking.

Your bodies are temples. Be gentle!!

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