13 yrs old

yep. im 13. and i wanted to know if theres anyone around my age here...

but anyways, i came to this site looking for some hints as to what im supposed to do with my life. im honestly cluless. i was fat, i lost weight...(by exercising and not eating so much), and now im not sure if i need to loose anymore, and if i dont...how do i eat? and i rly dont want to be counting cals for the rest of my life. i dont want weight and size and dieting to consime 99% of my thoughts...i just want to be a normal, happy, kid who doesnt worry about such things. and i dont want to gain the weight back. i dont want an eating disorder..im caught between these 2 fears constantly. i think its safe to say, i need help. thats y im here. this is a breif story, the whole thing is much more complicated.

p.s.- i dont eat lunch at school...or breakfast during school days. i just eat when i get home.

You shouldn't go all day at school with nothing at all to eat. Personally, I would find it really hard to concentrate without food to keep my brain going.
I can understand you don't want your whole life consumed with calorie counting, you just want to get on with your life. As long as you have plenty of exercise and eat healthily you should be able to maintain your weight. But seriously, you need to eat during the day. Can you talk to your parents, friends, or counsellors at school?

Howdy Juicebox04.....Congrats on your successful weight loss!  You are WISE BEYOND YOUR YEARS to be looking for guidance regarding your eating issues and your fears.  This is a "biggie issue" that haunts alot of women, so getting it under control while your still forming your eating habits is SUPER SMART!

I think you should see 3 people: 

1.  A general practice doctor who can tell you if you are at a proper weight or not.  They can also check hormones and see if everything is working properly.  Thryoid problems can boost weight...

2.  A nutritionalist who will devise a healthy, nutritious meal plan just for you!  This person will advise you to never skip a meal and help you stay energized and at a weight that feels good for YOU!  Have no fear -- you WILL NOT have to count calories for the rest of your life!  Developing GOOD habits while your young can last a lifetime!  

3.  A therapist who specializes in EATING DISORDERS can help uncover what the real FEARS are that keep hiding themselves in the food area.  They will UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH!  I am not saying that you HAVE an eating disorder but if you are constantly in fear, obsessing about gaining weight and thinking about food, one might be brewing, you know?   Get the RIGHT HELP NOW before it swirls into something harder to deal with, OK?  If it's as complicated as you say....THEY CAN HELP! =:D

Food is just a side issue....something else might be troubling you.  It's natural and normal to have worries and concerns, so seeking help, guidance and support via professionals is a HIGHLY INTELLIGENT THING TO DO RIGHT NOW..... You basically can deal with the snowflake before it rolls down the hillside and potentially develops into a snowball.  I speak from experience! =:O

  MY VERY BEST TO YOU!  YOU SOUND SUPER SPECIAL & AGAIN, WISE BEYOND YOUR YEARS!

You should not be restricting your calories in any way, except under the direction of a doctor or nutritionist.

All the information here on CC is geared towards fully grown adults.  You are still growing and stand to damage your bones and muscles as well as your internal organs if you don't get enough nutrition.

hi juicebox.  im 15, but i totally second everything. def see a nutritionist or talk to someone.  you could talk to a teacher or counselor at school.  eds are not fun, so good job for recognizing that you don't want one!

ok that all makes sense, and i cant say i didnt expect ppl to advise me to seek professional help...but i rly dont want to make this a big thing in my life. i dont want to get my parents or doctors involved..thats y im actually trying to get on the right path before it reaches that point. but i rly do appreciate any resonses i can get. but i dont think ill start eating at school..i eat at home so i think im ok...and my friend doesnt eat lunch either..but she also thinks shes fat (and is not)....hmm. what a conspiracy. haha.

i just wish i could get sum reassurance on whether or not im doing the right thing.

my worst fear is getting fat again. and that makes me afraid ill get too skinny.

well your parents do the shopping right? where are they...do they not notice you not eatting? hmph interesting...

well Id say sit them down and ask them to only and cook healthy stuff...are they fairly healthy?

i know when i was 13 (im almost 24 now) i didnt really have a say in what went into the grocery cart...fortunatly my parents ate fairly healthy anyway....

so yeah def. talk to them...sorry but you will need to get them involved...you cant eat healthy if you parents dont buy healthy food...


and yes you need to eat all meals...waiting all day to eat probably makes you eat more than you should from hunger eh?  the internet is a good place to find out what you should be eatting....plenty of whole grains/fruit/veggies, no fried foods/processed foods...you get the point....you dont need to count calories, just put healthy food into your body and grow!

You do not want to make this a big deal in your, but you need to consume at least three meals a day.
Please eat something for breakfast.  Toast with peanut butter and an apple.  This is not hard to prepare.
Are you able to cut up some fruits and veggies and put them in a baggie to bring to school and snack on?

Hey Juicebox,

First off, I really admire you for asking for help. It takes guts to go on a site like this and do such a thing and you should be proud of yourself. I also think you should really listen to the advice you've been given from the other posts.

I may be 23, but I totally know how you feel. When I was growing up, I was always overweight. My parents did not buy healthy food so when they sent it with me I would do one of two things - 1) Binge and eat all the bad stuff really fast OR 2) Not eat it all. Neither of these were healthy choices for me. I am now 23 and am still overweight and am finally taking control of my problem the healthy way - through proper food and exercise. Looking back, I wish I had talked to my parents about our unhealthy choices. Currently my mom is also dieting and has realized her mistakes.

I am also a student teacher. I know that I am not your teacher and have no right to tell you what you should or should not do, but I am going to give you the same advice I would give one of my own students. You NEED to talk to someone. If not your parents, you need to talk to a trusted adult in your life. I know you don't want to make this a big deal, but if you keep pushing your feelings aside it will become a big deal anyway and possibly start effecting other aspects of your life.

If you are adament about not talking to anyone then try casually mentioning to your parents the types of fruits or vegetables you like. You can take initiative on your own and make better lunches for yourself - drinking lots of water instead of pop, eating healthy snacks instead of chips and chocolate and sugary candy. Your body is still growing and developing and you need to take care of it. You deserve to be a kid and should not be worrying about this sort of thing.

I urge you to talk to your parents or another adult that you trust - let them do the worrying for awhile .

Take care and please really consider what I said :-)

heh. thanks u guys.

i guess i should hav mentioned that i DO eat extremly healthy foods...and my parents know ill eat nothing less. lol.

and yeah, i pretty much like to keep to myslf about things that r...somewhat depressing to talk about/think about. but who doesnt, rly? anyways...i think ill try it. eating like anormal kid with all healthy foods...idk. im still kinda lost but ill keep trying. its not too late, yet. haha. :) 

hey juicebox04,

i know how you feel . im 14 and i was "chubby" and then suddenly lost weight and im scared of it coming back . i but have to tell you that you have to eat breakfast . you can actually gain weight without eating breakfast because it slows your metabolism . but anyway, what i do to stay in shape is i eat 1200 cals. a day and i run on a treadmill . i also jump rope and do crunches. i guess theres not much to say but EAT BREAKFAST! and i understand you not eating lunch, soemtimes i dont either .

hi juicebox, i also want to say congrats on losing weight. pay attention to what people say on this forum, you asked a question so listen to the answers, even if it's not what you want to hear :)

i think you can do an internet search on "no breakfast" or something like that to understand why you need to eat breakfast...it's fuel for your system. Basically you don't want to be running like a car without gasoline, or (even worse!) an ipod without music!! Toast and juice, or a yogurt smoothie, oatmeal, or whatever. you might feel weird in the beginning, i didn't eat breakfast at all until i was an adult and now i really regret it. i was so sleepy in my morning classes and grumpy. after lunch things were always better. and i didn't realize the difference about it until i was an adult!

you know what? there were kids at my school who didn't eat lunch either, or they'd eat one pretzel and some diet coke, or one bag of chips. It was the "cool" thing to make it look like you didn't need to eat, esp. since they were the cheerleaders and popular girls. You know what would be cooler though? getting some "COOL" food like something from Whole Foods or organic or something. Then people would see that you care about your body and the earth. ... OR, get a cookbook and do some of your own cooking, you could make something really cool and yummy. I bet if you do this with your friend who doesn't eat lunch either, it will be motivating for both of you to be healthy together.

Anyway,  if there are depressing things you think about a lot, that is a different issue. Talk to someone experienced who has your well-being in mind. Good luck with all of it and let us know how you progress!

You shouldn't really restrict your calories at your age ... you should just eat healthily and exercise. Eat until you're full and listen to your tummy.

Also, often people think they're hungry when they're actually thirsty so drink water.

^ is that really true ? about being thirsty instead of hungry ? how can you tell ?

nette92,

when you start to feel hungry, drink a glass of water. If afterward you're still hungry then get a healthy snack. However, if you were just thirsty, your pangs will be gone and you won't have eaten un-needed calories.

Take Care

JuiceBox.. i dont think you need to eat a low amount of calories or excercise like crazy. I really believe that you should eat breakfast and lunch ALWAYS, and excecise. if you eat healthily with the occasional brownie whats the big deal? all you have to do is excercise for 30 mins a day at least 4 times a week.. and excercise can be fast walking or dancing to your favorite jams in your room (where of course no one can see ;). oh yeah im also 14 and i lost 10 pounds but then i gained it back due to binges.. im getting my life back on track and im going to lose the weight i gained. i think working out will put your mind at ease because you will know your burning up any of the "extra" calories you eat. dont listen to ppl who tell you to eat only 1200 cals a day.. if youve lost the weight you want than you can probably eat around roughly 1500-2000 cals a day depending on your height and weight. and remember to eat foods rich in calcium so your bones strength doesnt decrease.

keep strong<3

I think we all unanimously agree that it's great that you're looking to make improvements in your life and already have. Congrats! Just be careful - there can be a fine line between dieting and unhealthy obsession. If you find food and exercise taking up a lot of time in your thoughts or distracting you, or preventing you from living or enjoying your life, take the next, even harder step and ask for some help from someone you know.

The one thing that concerns me is that the not eating lunch thing is backed up by friends. Not that I am bashing your friends in any way, but I remember in high school that after awhile the girls who ate diet coke and pretzels or nothing at lunch (some of my best friends-and they were almost all thin!) started bringing in epicac or laxatives, or one of my closest friends just ate dinner and did a lot of exercise at night and it turned out she was mal-and under-nourished and we just got together again (almost 10 years later) and she spent her early twenties battling what she eventually recognized as an eating disorder. She lost hair and had some other health problems, and she wasn't bulimic like the other girls but anorexic. I don't want to scare you, but she had friends doing this with her too but that didn't make it healthy or ok. Now I work with teenagers with similar problems, and they all have found help with disorders from friends who are willing to eat salad with them at lunch and cereal at breakfast instead of nothing or too much. It's all about balance... and the right support! No one lives their life in total seclusion so include those around you in your healthy habits! Plus that makes it way less scary.

You sound mature enough to take care of yourself, but I would make sure you have all the facts, too, and there's nothing like a real person to help with that! You don't need to make a big deal out of it, and it's totally ok to seek help without there being a problem. It doesn't mean you have one, but you want to prevent one and that's great! And it doesn't mean you're weird or abnormal or that you have a problem to seek help, just wise beyond your years!

juicebox,

I think it's really smart and mature of you to want to keep yourself on a healthy path at your age.  So many young women go to one extreme or the other, and you're right -- it's so important to find the right path so you don't get caught on the wrong one.

As you said, you don't want this to be a big thing in your life.  If you obsess and worry over it on your own, you can almost guarantee that it will become exactly that.  If you talk to your doc about wanting to find a healthy weight and balance your diet, you'll be doing just what you need to avoid it becoming a big deal. 

Your instinct to deal with this now is absolutely on-target.  Trust yourself on that.  If you get some help and advice now to learn about healthy eating and body image, you will create a foundation for your entire future -- it may take a few months for you to incorporate all the information and establish the best eating pattern for you, but once you've done that you won't have to worry and obsess about it anymore -- you'll know you're doing what's right for your body and your health. 

If your parents are already buying healthy foods so that you have a good variety of them in the house, then you're in good shape.  You don't have to get all deep and confide-y with them if you don't want to.  Just tell them you want to make sure you're being as smart and healthy as you can be, so you'd like them to schedule an appointment with your doctor for a checkup and a discussion about weight and nutrition.  If you've lost a bunch of weight and aren't eating a lot now, they're probably quite worried about you -- your willingness to get advice from your doc will probably ease their minds and keep them off your back!

Good luck!

When your 12-14 all you have to do is eat healthy and exercise. Don't worry if you have a little extra fat around your tummy. If you are living a heathy live style chances are you are going through a growth spurt. Enjoy life beacause its to short. When I was younger all I thought about was weight and being to fat. I was actually thin at the time. I let these thoughts take over my life and that among other things lead to me being severly depressed which caused weight gain. Now i am trying to get back down to a healthy weight and have wasted years where I could have been happy. So, talk to someone and let them know how your feeling, because something that doesn't have to be a problem can turn into a big  one.

Hi Juicebox, I think you have a wonderful attitude. Learning what is called "intuitive eating" will serve you well for a lifetime. It's all about being mindful of what you eat, without becoming obsessive.

After my early struggles in my 20s with my weight, I managed to intuitively keep my own weight under control within +/-5 lbs for 15 years. At 41, I'm only now back to calorie counting temporarily, because I was taking a med that made me rapidly gain about 25 lbs. So it can be done, and once I lose these 25, I intend to go back to intuitive eating too.

I have a few suggestions for you that have served me well, things I learned in my 20s but wish I knew in my teens:

1) Get rid of all the fashion magazines. Don't buy them, don't subscribe, don't read borrowed copies. They are POISON to your mind. It has been shown that surrounding oneself with such images can create depression and feelings of inadequacy and self-hatred. So don't do it. (My teens think I'm a scrooge for not allowing Seventeen in the house... but so be it!!)

Magazines that are fine include Self and Shape.. they show realistic images of healthy women, instead of anorexic air-brushed models.

2) Limit or don't watch t.v. - it's also poison. Too many perfect people.

3) Get rid of the scale. I didn't own one for 15 years. I relied on once a year checkups at the doctor and that was it. I do have one now, but intend to put it in storage once I've reached my goal - if I find I'm still jumping on it constantly and it's playing with my mind.

4) Get rid of any full-length mirrors. Okay, yes, this is drastic, but it really does help. I now have a full-length mirror, but for years I went on a "diet" without one.... and it did wonders for my mind.

5) Learn to focus on what your body can DO, rather than what it looks like. This should naturally lead to a physical activity or activities you will enjoy for a lifetime. Is your body exceptionally strong? Flexible? Do you have wonderful balance? Grace? Agility? Are you fast as a cheetah? We all have a physical gift, and I don't mean tight abs or a great butt! ... Find out what yours is, cultivate it, and celebrate it.

6) Eliminate processed foods, refined sugars, and refined grains. If you do that, you'll have a clear palate and you'll become more and more sensitive to your body telling you what you need nutritionally. I am here to tell you that it really does work that way!!  

However, I'm concerned that if you are only eating once a day, you're not quite there yet. You are fighting against your body and imposing your own discipline on it... instead of allowing it to naturally and intuitively lead you to what it needs. So start eating more frequently, give it some time, and see what happens. Listen carefully to your body as you do it. Meditation and yoga are great tools to help to that end.

Hope that helps!

my worst fear is getting fat again. and that makes me afraid ill get too skinny.

---that describes me exactly.

im 20yrs old and my parents think im anorexic...they want me to go to the doctor with them. :(